Eminem, Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears

NEW YORK – Eminem in court; J-Lo’s bum battle and Britney bares it all in The Foxlight.

His court appearances are slim and the whole case sounds shady. So Eminem (search) won't be on hand to attend a hearing later this month on a suit filed by a former schoolmate.

The Rapper's ex-classmate claims Eminem's song "Brain Damage" (search) damaged his reputation -- because it described him as an abusive bully. Eminem wants the suit thrown out of court. Eminem's attorney has said the alleged bully is just trying to cash in on his client's fame. The attorney also says the song is true -- because Bailey did beat up Eminem while they were in school. So if Eminem doesn't show up for the fight, the bully wins again?

With all the hype about Jennifer Lopez's behind, one would think she'd be No. 1 on a poll that asks "which celebrity has the most attractive butt?" But no: She placed second in the survey by EDiets.com, with 45 percent of the votes. According to those polled, Jennifer Aniston has the most appealing buns. She out-polled J-Lo with 46 percent of the votes.

Britney Spears (search) says she's relieved she didn't settle down with Justin Timberlake. She tells the September edition of Elle magazine she hated Timberlake talking about their relationship and that she's actually quite shy. Yeah, we can see that in your videos, Brister. She also believes their break-up made her a better artist. That's less obvious, actually. Spears wears nothing but tiny black briefs on the cover of Elle. Yeah, she's shy.