Boycott America?

I guess I'm just thick, but — silly me — I was just blown away to read that the Arabs are boycotting American products because they're mad at us.

They're refusing to have anything to do with things American, unless they really need them or are really addicted to them.

They won't eat American pizza, but still smoke Marlboros and use fistfuls of dollars. But hey, the boycott is definitely on. The Arabs are going to make Americans pay.

I forget. Did we fly one of their planes into one of their high rises? No. We didn't, did we?

We just sent a half million Americans to their desert to protect a Muslim nation from another Muslim nation.

We bombed the hell out of a Christian nation — Serbia — to protect Muslims in Kosovo, and I think we're still in Bosnia protecting Muslims there.

But the Arabs are going to boycott us because they blame us for the Israelis kicking the hell out of the Palestinians.

By that logic, we could blame them for not controlling the Palestinians. In fact, we do blame them… and they richly deserve it.

The Saudis fund the Palestinians, and pay for the schools that indoctrinate the suicide bombers. Our offense is that we sell arms to the Israelis. Of course we sell them all those guns. They need to protect themselves from the Egyptians, Syrians, Iranians, Iraqis... all Arab states with sizeable armies who have at one time or another either invaded Israel or promised they would.

We didn't give Israel all those guns just to shoot at Palestinians. In fact, we wish they wouldn't, but we can hardly stop them if the Palestinians insist on strapping TNT to teenagers and pointing them at Israeli strip malls.

That's our offense, so we've got to live with this boycott. It's funny they're not going to boycott Bill Gates. They need his software to run their computers so they can read up on the latest Al Qaeda news and email each other about how nasty Americans are.

And as I mentioned earlier, the Arabs are not going to boycott those dollars. You don't see them getting really serious about demanding payment for oil in Euros, or Riyals, or stacks of those other bathroom-tissue currencies that float around places like Somalia in suitcase-size stacks..

While they’re at it this boycott, maybe they can just boycott America itself... like stay out. Go to school somewhere else. Buy real estate somewhere else. Find refuge from your own repressive regime somewhere else.

That's My Word.

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