Bearded dragon (© 2011 Rich Lewis)
Ahhh, home -- the hallowed sanctuary where you can keep all your strangest possessions that you don't dare tell another soul about. Your 200 porcelain dolls, your complete collection of "Golden Girls" Pez dispensers, that childhood retainer you held on to for no particular reason. As long as they're in your home, they aren't anybody's business.
Until, that is, you have to relocate, and the movers come.
If you're going for one of those easy-peasy full-service moves, the movers are going to either pack or unpack (or both!) for you, and that means your obsession will be exposed.
If you're suddenly wondering exactly how many Pez dispensers is considered "unhealthy," don't despair. Movers have seen it all, and whatever you have probably doesn't even come close. We got them to spill their guts (not literally, although in some cases it would be justified) about their freakiest moves.
1. Dead pets (and live ones, too)
"Taxidermy seems a lot less like a hobby when it is practiced on deceased pets. We've seen customers with several stuffed house cats, and even one with a stuffed bull that they'd owned and loved. There was an instance in which we helped a customer securely transport the cremated remains of a pair of Great Danes.
"But even stranger are the requests we've received to move live animals. We've moved a bearded dragon and a live crow named Eddie who, to its dismay, had been packaged in a breathable box by his owner. We helped both of these customers find safe and ethical alternatives to move their living pets safely from one home to another." -- Aaron Steed, CEO and founder of Meathead Movers, a California-based moving company.
Lesson learned: Movers can move HSN collectible plates decorated with animals, but movers cannot move live animals. Got it? If you can't transport your pet yourself, let your moving company know. It can recommend a local, reputable animal transport. As far as the taxidermy goes, you're on your own. We've seen "Psycho" way too many times to engage on this.
2. Divine entities
"We've moved angels … that is, angel sculptures that were all over Los Angeles. They were for a charity. Artists created them, and then they were displayed all over the city. I believe they are then auctioned off to support local charities. Problem is, they're so big, each needed to be wrapped, and they created custom crates for each." -- Laura McHolm, co-founder of NorthStar Moving in Los Angeles.
Lesson learned: If your collections are of a highly unusual size or shape, you're going to need a highly unusual box. Just be sure to tell the movers before they arrive so they can have it ready.
3. Adult entertainment devices
"For a move we did in New York City, our crew noticed lots of buzzing coming from one of the boxes while they were moving. The buzzing never seemed to stop. We were all going crazy trying to guess what was making that noise.
"And then, while they were unpacking, the crew got the answer: The buzzing was being made by, um, personal massagers that had somehow been left on." -- Lavi Brill, on-site sales manager for Oz Moving and Storage.
Lesson learned: If you own anything that vibrates, turn it off before you pack. Better yet -- stay on the safe side by removing the batteries.
4. A 700-pound table
"Last year we made the mistake of sending two movers to help a customer move a coffee table. We expected your standard Ikea Hemnes or maybe even a Regissr. We figured that two movers were more than enough to help navigate the table down the front stairs.
"However, when we got to the customer's home, we found that the 'coffee table' was actually a cross-section of a gargantuan oak tree, polished to a high gloss. Gorgeous, but absolutely immovable. We sent more muscle out to help, and it still wouldn't budge. In the end it took eight movers and some creative leverage to get that 'coffee table' -- weighing in at 700 pounds -- down the front stairs and safely into storage." -- Emma Gordon, storage expert for Clutter.
Lesson learned: If your cherished items are heavier than a Toyota Prius, you might want to clue the movers in ahead of time. If you don't and they have to send in reinforcements, you might get stuck watching the hours (and your money) tick away while you wait.
5. Coffins, medieval weaponry, and other abnormal collections
"People collect stuff, and they really prize those collections. On more than one occasion, we have been asked to move coffins. One was a life-size Egyptian sarcophagus; another a Gothic number complete with red velvet interior and intricate gargoyle carvings. One customer collected medieval weaponry, including a full-scale, functional suit of armor and many implements of torture made of wood and iron.
"Another customer had an affinity for art depicting all things obese. On that day, we moved countless sculptures and paintings of rotund people and animals. The priced centerpiece of this collection? A morbidly obese bronze statue of a cat." -- Aaron Steed
Lesson learned: Do what coffin-collector-guy did, and make sure you find a mover who can handle whatever you hoard.