Sadie Robertson: Fixing a bad haircut is easy, but fixing what's inside is hard -- How to exhale the ugly

In the process of telling the truth about what you feel or what you see, each of us has to get in touch with himself or herself in a really deep, serious way.

-June Jordan

Have you ever had a time in your life when you just felt ugly? Maybe it was because you had a breakout, or you got a bad haircut, or that outfit you thought would look so good on you doesn’t really look good on you at all.

We all know the kinds of ugly I’m talking about. Once, when I was in high school, I got the worst haircut ever. I didn’t like the way my hair fell in my eyes as I ran up and down the basketball court, so I called my hairdresser to ask for a quick trim. She couldn’t do it, and neither could anyone else I knew. Our team was scheduled to start a tournament the next day, and I thought I had to have a trim. So I went to the hair salon in a big discount store thinking, How bad could it be? It’s just a little trim to get my hair out of my eyes.

When you feel ugly on the outside, you can clear up the breakout, let your hair grow, or exchange an outfit that doesn’t look good for one that does. When you feel ugly on the inside, none of those strategies will work.

Let me tell you, it was bad. On one side of my head, the girl took off one inch of my hair. On the other side, she cut four inches! It looked horrible, and I cried the entire rest of the day. You know that old saying, “You get what you pay for”? Well, the total price of the haircut was five dollars. I learned the hard way what five dollars will get you in a hair salon -- and it’s not pretty!

I’ve had plenty of other experiences that made me feel ugly on the outside, and perhaps you have too. But in this chapter, I’m talking about a different kind of ugly -- the kind you feel when it’s happening on the inside. I’m talking about fear, anger, resentment, jealousy -- all those negative emotions that cause you to think you’re weak, unimportant -- and yes, ugly --and that you have no future.

The thing about all of this is that when something is ugly on the outside, people can see it and we’re embarrassed about it. But when the ugly is on the inside, no one can see it and we’re alone with it. We are more likely to deal with ugly on the outside because we want others to stop looking at it. The embarrassment we feel motivates us to fix the problem. But when we think we are the only ones who can see the ugly on the inside, we’re easily tempted to let it sit in the dark places inside of us, where it grows and gets worse. It’s a lot better to be embarrassed about ugly on the outside than it is to be alone wrestling with something ugly on the inside.

Sadie Robertson book cover

When you feel ugly on the outside, you can clear up the breakout, let your hair grow, or exchange an outfit that doesn’t look good for one that does. When you feel ugly on the inside, none of those strategies will work. When the problem is on the inside, the solution has to start on the inside too. You have to do what I call “exhale your ugly.”

I’ve had a lot of practice exhaling my ugly. Not long before I started writing my book, "Live Fearless: A Call to Power, Passion, and Purpose" I went through about a two-year season of ugly. And I can assure you, it took a lot of exhaling to get all that ugly out!

Let me explain what I mean by “exhaling your ugly.” Think about the way you breathe. You take air into your body when you inhale, and when you exhale, you let it out. You release the air you’ve been holding inside. So when I say, “Exhale your ugly,” I’m talking about letting go of negative emotions like fear, disappointment, and all the things that make you feel ugly and unworthy. You just release all of that pain and roll it over to God.

It’s just like 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (nlt).

Taken from "Live Fearless: A Call to Power, Passion, and Purpose" by Sadie Robertson Copyright © by Used by permission of Thomas Nelson.  

Sadie Robertson catapulted into stardom as a young teenager, starring in the hit reality series on A&E, Duck Dynasty. At the age of 17 years old, she landed first runner up on Season 18 of ABC’s Dancing with The Stars. Sadie Robertson designed and launched a motivational tour, called the Live Original Tour in 2016. Sadie is also a best-selling author. Her first book, “Live Original,” is a New York Times best-seller, and her latest book is, “Live Fearless: A Call to Power, Passion, and Purpose.”