CNN does not understand why viewers across the fruited plain are disgusted with the cavalcade of depravity displayed during the network’s New Year’s Eve broadcast.
The “Most Trusted Name in News” hauled out a bunch of middle-aged journalists (who have trouble holding their liquor) to flirt on live television, cavort with drag queens, and deliver sexually-charged banter.
“My balls are bigger than your balls,” Brooke “Can’t Say Boobs on the Air” Baldwin told Don “Pierce Me” Lemon.
“Probably,” Lemon responded.
Anderson Cooper stood up for “The Most Toasted Name in News” explaining that smoking pot from a bong and getting a Rocky Mountain High is not a crime.
The duo was broadcasting from a New Orleans bar – and they were presumably referring to Baldwin’s Mardi Gras beads. Presumably.
Earlier in the telecast, Lemon instructed Baldwin to “pinch the tail and suck the head.” Presumably, he was referring to how to properly eat a crawfish. Presumably.
But most of the nation’s disgust was reserved for the network’s decision to embed reporter Randi “Kush” Kaye in a roving marijuana party bus.
Kaye regaled viewers with live hits from across Denver that included tutorials on getting stoned and how to use a gas mask bong.
“CNN is trying to trademark the debauchery as its brand for New Year’s Eve coverage,” Media Research Center President Brent Bozell told Fox News.
Anderson Cooper, who spent much of the broadcast giggling like a school girl at a Justin Bieber concert, defended the network’s programming decision.
“She did not smoke,” Cooper said Tuesday on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.”
I seem to recall someone else who once used the infamous “I did not inhale” defense.
As Colbert pointed out – the danger was from second-hand smoke.
“Do you still have a contact high from Randi Kaye?” he asked.
Cooper stood up for “The Most Toasted Name in News” explaining that smoking pot from a bong and getting a Rocky Mountain High is not a crime.
“It’s legal in Colorado – grown adults,” Cooper said.
In other words, don’t be surprised if CNN dispatches a reporter to cover New Year’s Eve 2018 from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Prostitution is legal in parts of Nevada – grown adults…