March 28, 2015. Angelina Jolie waves as she accepts the Best Villain Award at the 2015 Kids' Choice Awards in Los Angeles, California. (Reuters)
It’s summer, and with the advent of sleeveless dress and spaghetti strap season, I am reminded why I find tattoos on women so offensive: they are simply unsightly to look at.
I’m a fairly open minded person, but I must draw the line here, and be frank. I find tattoos a desecration of the beauty of the female form.
They don’t look cool. They look cheap. And the kinds of men who find tattoos alluring are probably out on parole.
Remember that scene in "Steel Magnolias" when Dolly Parton is describing her ruffian son’s new squeeze?
I’m a fairly open minded person, but I must draw the line here, and be frank. I find tattoos a desecration of the beauty of the female form.
“The only nice thing I can say about her, “she says, “is that all her tattoos are spelled correctly.”
Maybe on Angelina Jolie, tattoos are “art.” On everyone else they are just bad graffiti.
There’s nothing more unsettling than seeing an otherwise elegant woman in a classic sheath at an outdoor reception, and then on closer inspection noticing her hideous stamps on her upper arms, or an insipid butterfly “design” encircling her ankle.
When I see these women, a part of me reserves judgement. Perhaps these tattoos are the remnants of a wild youth, an impetuous indiscretion.
In order to arrive at one’s own sense of style, one must experiment, sometimes with disastrous results.
Removing tattoos is painful and expensive, but wearing a shawl or pashmina isn’t. If you were stupid enough to get tattoos in your past, be smart enough to cover them up, if you can’t get rid of them.
Last month, Rihanna, with jewelry designer Jacquie Aiche, launched a line of “temporary” tattoos, marketing no doubt to the impressionable young girls who hang on her every word.
In a press release, Aiche explains that the collaboration with Rihanna has produced some “gothic” pieces, and some “daintier” ones for “layering that are reminiscent of the way we stack our jewelry.”
I never thought I’d read “dainty” and “tattoo” in the same sentence, but there you go.
The black and metallic tattoos retail for about $27, with a set containing seven sheets with tattoos you can wear “as a choker, on your knuckles, on your arms-anywhere.”
(Lord only knows where this suggestion will take some of our more adventurous youngsters.)
I’m going to hold my nose here, and see this as a positive development.
In order to arrive at one’s own sense of style, one must experiment, sometimes with disastrous results.
In my day, I had teased bangs, combat boots, and a plethora of other bad looks etched permanently in my memory and in my high school yearbooks.
Fortunately, these experimentations aren’t etched on my person.
So, maybe, this new generation will jump on the temp tattoo bandwagon; realize how ridiculous they look, and never be tempted to go for the full Monty.
And if you do, and live to regret it, and trust me, you will, at least have enough decency to cover up, especially at cocktail parties.
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