If your dog could talk

As I reach down now to scratch the head of my canine best friend -- Sugar, curled in a ball near my desk chair -- it was no surprise to me to read the recent news that new proof has been found that dog has been domesticated for over 33,000 years.

How could man ever have survived without his best friend?

33,000 years ago if it had been me sketching on the walls of my cave, sure as heck, I'd want a four-legged friend to keep me company -- and give me a supportive WOOF! at my brilliant stick drawing.

Given that dog's best-friend status has lasted for so long, it's a shame they haven't learned speak a human language to tell us things, for example that it is really us humans who need to be trained -- not them.

So what would Dog would say if he could? I've taken a gander at what that might be:

He'd say: I've been your friend for 33,000 years. I chose you. I want to be with you. Why are you leaving me again? Can't I come with you? Where is this "hunt" taking you that I can't go? And, Man, your wheels are swee-eet!

He'd say: I'm a pack animal. I'm happiest when the whole family is together. I'm sure I'd like the movies, just give me a chance. "Beauty & the Beast" in 3-D!… Please?

He'd say: feed me. Good food. Yup, keep scooping the kibble, Man. Um-hum. Keep it coming. Dog wants a big tummy -- burp. Whew… I don't feel so good.

He'd say: where's my Animal Planet? Don't leave me without putting that thing on—there is some grrrr-eat programming! Look at that cool ACO busting up that crazy old lady's shack full of my brothers…let me at her!

He'd say: love me and I'll love you back. Man, just so you know, I think you're pretty cool. I'll make you a deal. If you can last 33,000 more years, I'll stick around, too.

Jennifer Quasha is a writer and most recently the co-author of "Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Dog's Life: 101 Stories about the Ages and Stages of our Canine Companions" and "Chicken Soup of the Soul: My Cat's Life: 101 Stories about the Ages and Stages of our Feline Family Members." Check out her website at www.jenniferquasha.com.