Gutfeld: The Incredible Porta-Potty Peeper

Written by Greg Gutfeld / Published June 29, 2011 / Red Eye

So it always amazes me how the creepiest people can sound so unbelievably normal.

I speak of the drifter who was arrested for hiding inside a Porta-Potty during a yoga festival.

He had placed himself under the potty to watch women do, you know, before he was caught.

Luke Chrisco, alias Skye Oryan, is currently and thankfully facing charges of unlawful sexual contact and criminal invasion of privacy.

Our Fox affiliate in Denver interviewed this sicko, and the weirdest thing about it? He didn't sound sicky.

Here he is describing what he did.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP FROM KDVR)

LUKE CHRISCO: I had a tent cover with me. I had no shoes on or anything and no shirt really. I got a small shirt that I stashed in there somewhere. And I just kind of put the tent cover around my knees and -- because I kind of, like, pushed my legs forward and then I kind of just, like -- um, it was closed, the Porta-Potty was closed. And I was in there and I opened the latch real quick and just kind of ducked in there. And I was actually inside it. There was a little bit of room to move around. And, uh, I guess the first time nobody came for awhile. I was in one of the wrong ones. And then I just switched over to a busy one. And then, I don't know, some chicks came in. And supposedly she saw me or whatever.

(LAUGHTER)

(END AUDIO CLIP)

Now, here he is describing why he did it as well as the business he so dearly wants to start.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

CHRISCO: I believe that women are beautiful and I just, I don't know, there's something very primal about it. So I wanted to create, like, a website, um, that was called spiritualpornsite.com, but I never got quite all the footage for it. But I wanted to have, like, some girls, like, have drawings on their body with henna art or some kind of interesting artwork and really lift them up as goddesses, you know. Like, leaders in the animal kingdom. You know, I kind of look at the female body as, like, perfection of the animal form. And I think that if people saw that in a spiritual mindset, like, it's something worthy of praise and honor, respect, um, then they can use their lust to connect with divinity.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

Finally, here he is, saying why this crime was wrong.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

CHRISCO: I feel like I did something that was inappropriate by being there, and that situation where, you know, very easily, you know, something inappropriate could have happened. You know, there's not really a whole lot of space between me and them at that point. And, uh, you know, I think right there, at the same time that I was thankful for having been blessed by whatever energy they carried, you know, I also at the same time felt like, you know, I shouldn't have done that.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

Now is it me, or does this guy sound no different than a mountain climber describing his latest climb? Or a grad student discussing his thesis on the feminist undercurrents in "The Hobbit"?

My point is, it doesn't take brains to tell you that a guy who likes to hide in Porta-Potties has issues (if not tissues). But it takes real smarts to somehow explain it all away as though it were a new age tribute to the spirit and beauty of the female form.

Like many creepy men that have come of age in this creepy, creepy time, Luke seemed to master the contemporary language of the holistic new age male -- a seemingly harmless post-graduate sheen that disguises something else entirely.

Something yucky.

And that's the beauty of the new age hippy -- it's just a cloak for creepier stuff.

I speak, of course, of yoga.

And if you disagree with me, you're a racist homophobe.

-- Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

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