So the "Occupy" protests have gone beyond embarrassing into the realm of "Mad Max" unhinged weirdness.

At "Occupy Wall Street," you've got men threatening to kill a protester as well as groping, thieving and heroin dealing.

In Bloomington, a man says a protester drugged and handcuffed him.

In Hartford, a man pulls a knife.

In Dallas, a 14-year-old runaway has sex with adults.

In Boston, two protesters deal heroin in their tent in front of a 6-year-old.

In Portland, there's an alleged sexual assault, and another in Ohio.

In Denver, there's groping; in Lawrence, more battery and sexual assault; in Sacramento, a possible rape; in Oakland, beating, sexual assault and a dog attack; in Austin a knife threat; in Seattle, a public masturbator; and in Toronto, a frantic foot sniffer.

Yeah, just like the Tea Partiers.

And lastly, in Baltimore, a pamphlet circulates saying not to report sex crimes to the cops but instead go to the "Occupy" committee.

Meaning, Sharia law -- which people fear might come to the U.S. -- already does exist, at least at the protests.

And of course, like Sharia, it doesn't give a damn about women.

So the media -- and people like Russell Simmons -- have a huge problem.

What happens when something you love turns out to be an abusive creep?

In a way, the media are Rihanna, and "Occupy Wall Street" is Chris Brown.

She kept thinking he was going to be better, but all he did was abuse her.

And Obama? He's that useless next door neighbor, seeing everything, doing nothing.

Which leaves us with one question posed by those brainy folks at CNN.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP FROM CNN)

DON LEMON, ANCHOR: You have the question about "Occupy."

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I do have today's question and it's really interesting now. The question is, would Jesus occupy Wall Street? It's an interesting question.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Yep, that's exactly what everyone was wondering.

And if you disagree with me you're a racist homophobe.

-- Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com