Home base is the last place to break her heart lest you give her the opportunity to break your things if it goes badly.
In all seriousness though, your house is undoubtedly a bad breakup locale. Not only is it too private, but it’s also too contained in a debilitating way: It eliminates your physical ability to walk away from the situation. Ending it inside your four walls gives her control over the duration of the conversation and any negotiation, and if she’s emotional the breakup could go on for hours. If a home delivery is a must, make it her house, not yours.
10. At Your House
Home base is the last place to break her heart lest you give her the opportunity to break your things if it goes badly. In all seriousness though, your house is undoubtedly a bad breakup locale. Not only is it too private, but it’s also too contained in a debilitating way: It eliminates your physical ability to walk away from the situation. Ending it inside your four walls gives her control over the duration of the conversation and any negotiation, and if she’s emotional the breakup could go on for hours. If a home delivery is a must, make it her house, not yours.
9. At the Office
Confusion thrives when things happen out of context, and that’s exactly what happens when you conduct a breakup in the office. Given the nuances of a work setting (public, confined and professional) ending a relationship in this arena is a major social taboo. Besides being a poor use of company time, it also fills the air with unavoidable tension for your colleagues, even if you stay holed up in your office. Since your coworkers (and boss) won’t be oblivious to what’s going on, avoid any scheduled or impromptu breakups any time between the hours of nine and five.
8. On Vacation
Calling it quits on a vacation is extremely illogical. For one, it’s a highly controlled environment where you have to endure one another until the trip’s end. And chances are you’ll be sharing a room, even a bed, until the nightmare ends. Worse, breaking up on vacation can lead both you and her into dangerous, unsafe situations while inhabiting unfamiliar territory — for example, storming off to an unknown location for hours on end just to get away from one another. Ending it on holiday will provide ample opportunity for instant rebounds but, in the end, it will only ruin your trip and result in wasted money.
7. At a Wedding
A beautiful wedding is every girl’s dream and getting dumped at one is her worst nightmare. Being blissful and romantic by nature, not to mention ostensibly public, weddings are the most heartless place for a breakup. Not only does it smack the very meaning of the event, it also creates a highly inappropriate scene. Breaking up at a wedding causes anxiety for other guests who witness the drama (and only the bride should be blushing), as well as steals the focus from the bride and groom. If your union is crumbling at a wedding, don’t engage in a breakup until after the reception.
6. At the Parents'
We often find ourselves in strange locations when unexpectedly lowering the boom. However, one place will always remain off-limits for a breakup: the ‘rents'; regardless if it’s your parents’ house or hers. Bringing Mom and Dad in on the fun can make for some very uncomfortable situations. They’re asked to pick sides — or automatically do — and all of a sudden there’s four people emotionally charged, and two people are chiming in with unwanted advice. Regardless of the circumstance, always be cognizant that the parents’ house will forever be a breakup sanctuary.
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5. On a Plane
Daring couples try many things miles above the ground, however, breaking up isn’t something that’s advisable. The cramped quarters of an airplane cabin are a definite bad breakup locale. Aside from the fact that you’re forced to sit side by side, you also have no privacy or discretion. Anything above a faint whisper is audible to dozens of people around you and your volatile state will only heighten their anxieties. Should you find your relationship crashing on a plane, just take a deep breath and wait to drop her when you finally get through baggage claim.
4. In the Car
True road rage happens inside those cars where a breakup just occurred. Since driving the car should be the primary focus, particularly if said car is in motion, you should recognize that it makes for the most dangerous place to cut her off, especially if it goes awry or comes out of nowhere. Calling it off in a car not only diverts attention from the rules of the road, but also traps you: In her car, she may never pull over and in your car, she may never get out. By now, we all know cars are great for making out, and we should now know they’re terrible for breaking up.
3. At a Bar
Breakups most commonly occur in a bar, and that’s probably because of the alcohol. However, this is not an ideal setting for ending a relationship and that’s definitely because of the alcohol. The libations that lead to and spur on breakups often lead both guys and girls to turn up the melodrama. Nine times out of 10, after the he-said/she-said routine, a shouting match ensues and someone (if not both) gets asked to leave. The icing on the cake? The night usually ends in binge drinking and results in a massive hangover. In such situations, break up responsibly.
2. In a Restaurant
Why you want out is never appropriate dinner conversation. However, because restaurants seem like civilized, neutral locales, guys often view them as the ideal spot for calling it quits. This is an off-base ideal, though. While breaking up in an eatery does put you in a seemingly polished area, it also puts you in a conspicuous environment without any privacy. And having to compete with clanking silverware and surrounding conversation only worsens things. A restaurant is a step in the right direction, but it still lacks the privacy and neutrality necessary for a clean break.
1. In the Virtual World
Even though ditching her in a text, e-mail, Facebook wall post or over the phone is painless — and fast becoming an accepted norm — this easy way out doesn’t earn you any respect, from her or your fellow men. Highly insensitive, breaking up in a virtual world is the most juvenile strategy guys can employ. Plus, this is a very public means of ending a relationship. Though you may think it’s private initially, breaking up "virtually" always leaves a paper trail that can be used against you later. And this free ammunition will only prove your lack of respect and lack of cojones.