Michelle Rodriguez wishes she died long ago.
In a shocking interview about her experience under the powerful psychedelic drug Ayahuasca, the “Fast and Furious” actress, 37, shared how she coped with co-star Paul Walker’s 2013 death.
“I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself,” she said according to a clip obtained by TMZ. “I’ll tell you that my Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here. It wasn’t a sadness that he’s gone, it was more like a jealousy that he’s there first.”
“When I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being like an animal,” she recalled. “Like what could I do physically to just get my mind off existentialism. Get my mind off how transient life is and how we come here and could just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that?”
The interview is part of “The Reality of Truth” by Michael Zapolin. The documentary explores the relationship between spirituality, religion and psychedelics. It features commentary from Deepak Chopra, Joel Osteen and other spiritual leaders.
“The Reality of Truth” will be released sometime in 2016.