Updated

Here's what everybody's gabbing about instead of doing work:

Kim Kardashian almost got run down by a baby elephant while trying to take a selfie (with the pachyderm in the background) in Thailand. Apparently, the elephant didn't like her choice of Instagram filter. In its defense, nobody looks good in Mayfair. She also posted this truly odd bikini video. Watch the video above to get Kardashian's tips on how to look your best in photos.

In addition to his hosting gig on "Live! With Kelly and Michael," former football player Michael Strahan will soon be joining the "Good Morning America" crew during its 7 o'clock hour. It's all presumably part of Strahan's calculated plan to star on every current ABC show, perhaps culminating in a recurring role on "The Goldbergs."

"Divergent" star Shailene Woodley wore a white dress with a plunging neckline and monster shoulder pads to the film's Berlin premiere. It's no doubt a bold look, but we don't know how we feel about it yet. Give us a minute.

Samuel L. Jackson's love of the old ABC series "Boy Meets World" cannot be professed in mere words. Nay, he feels so strongly about the Ben Savage sitcom that needed to pay tribute in verse on "The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon."

Eddie Murphy's daughter Bria has said she wants to be a Victoria's Secret model, and she certainly made a good case on Tuesday while playing volleyball in a tiny gold bikini.

Ivanka Trump's cute new Instagram picture proves that she practices yoga at home with her 2-year-old daughter, and not some fancy trainer. She's just like us! Except there's no baby grand piano in our impeccably decorated NYC high-rise apartment.

In an April Fool's prank that gets sadder the more you think about it, Maria Menounos tricked her parents into thinking she and her boyfriend of 15 years had finally tied the knot in Vegas.

Producer Harvey Weinstein has confirmed that he's trying to convince Taylor Swift to write the music to an upcoming musical he's working on, presumably about spurned women expressing their displeasure for former boyfriends through song.

Speaking of musicals, Courtney Love told NME that a musical production based on the life of her late husband Kurt Cobain is "very likey" to happen. But for any Nirvana fans out there, let's never comes to fruition.

Nickelodeon's "Sam & Cat" hasn't yet been renewed for a second season, and it probably has something to do with star Jennette McCurdy's racy seflies showing up on the internet last month.

Miley Cyrus took a break from to announce that her dog Floyd recently passed away. 

Paris Hilton wore a plunging kaleidoscope dress to the Ultra Music Festival in Miami, because Lord knows nobody was going to notice her for her DJing skills.

Chinese actor Wen Zhang broke a social media record on Weibo (China's Twitter-like thing) when he used the platform to publicly apologize to his wife for cheating with his co-star.

Starbucks has had to apologize for an incident in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, after a barista decorated a Catholic schoolteacher's beverages with a caramel pentagram and mark of the beast.

And finally, our frequent practice of eating multiple desserts after every meal are over! Now, we can satiate our need for both flaky pastry and fried bread with these two new pie-flavored doughnuts (dies? ponuts?) from Krispy Kreme.