Updated

Here's what's happening out there:

Taylor Swift wore a polka-dot bra — wait, excuse us, it was a polka-dot crop-top — around New York City on Monday. But geez, how much more top can she crop before she's basically just wearing underwear?!

Swift also wrote an op-ed piece about the future of the record business for the Wall Street Journal, which either says a whole lot about Taylor's writing ability or a whole lot about the Wall Street Journal's adorable schoolboy crush on Taylor Swift.

Miranda Kerr wished her followers a happy Fourth of July by sharing a topless photo (below) on Instagram, so we can only imagine what kinds of nude shenanigans she has planned for the independence holiday in her native Australia.

Kerr also posted a picture of her own butt in ripped jeans to the photo-sharing site, but must've deleted it soon afterwards. Lucky for you, this historic photograph has already been saved and documented by countless media outlets.

According to the Daily Mail, Amal Alamuddin's mother thinks her daughter "can do better" than George Clooney. So clearly, this woman hasn't seen "The Men Who Stare at Goats!"

"True Blood" werewolf-man Joe Manganiello is reportedly romancing "Modern Family" actress Sofia Vergara, taking her on a brunch date in New Orleans on Sunday. Funny, you'd think Manganiello would know better than to bring a woman to Louisiana, the epicenter of HBO's awful supernatural plotlines.

Tom Hanks lip-syched to Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" at Scooter Braun's wedding over the weekend, and Justin Bieber caught some of it on camera (below). Wait, what did we just write?

A former lingerie model is suing Beyonce's father Matthew Knowles, claiming he fathered her child back in 2010. That would make the child nearly four, or in Matthew's eyes, just about old enough to start a singing group with his other extramarital child.

Before showing up for Paris Fashion Week, former "Twilight" actress Kristen Stewart cut off most of her hair, dyed the rest of it orange and donned a see-through ensemble, but stopped just short of brandishing a large handwritten sign that read "LOOK AT ME!"

Madonna showed up for jury duty in New York City on Monday morning, but was dismissed after just two hours. A rep for Madonna said she fulfilled her civic duty, but declined to state which terrible movies Madge was forced to watch while waiting around at the Clerk's Office.

Garth Brooks has a press conference scheduled for later this week, during which he's expected to formally announce a world tour with his wife, Tricia Yearwood. We can only hope that Brooks will invite his brooding alter-ego, R&B vocalist Chris Gaines, along as his other opener:

"Harry Potter" author J.K Rowling has released a new short story about everyone's favorite Gryffindor gang, set sometime after the events of "The Deathly Hallows" when they've all grown older and made appropriately depressing career choices.

And finally, TGI Friday's is now offering "Endless Appetizers" for just $10 per person — but sharing amongst friends won't be monitored. So if they're banking on the notion that a single human being (and her friends) can't put away six orders of boneless buffalo wings in one sitting, TGI Friday's is in for a rude, costly awakening.