Published April 11, 2019
This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 11, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Emily Compagno, Juan Williams, Dana Perino, and Greg. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is “The Five.”
Emily Compagno --
(CROSSTALK)
(LAUGHTER)
WATTERS: There it is.
EMILY COMPAGNO, HOST: So this music of the day, so there's this theme with all of these songs. So the game is see if you can guess the theme. And I picked everyone's segments --
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: This is west coast.
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: I already know the theme, irritating music.
COMPAGNO: If we get to your segment and then you're welcome. You're going to love it.
JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: You know this is car music. This is like, you know, you see those guys in the cars that go --
WATTERS: With the hydraulics.
WILLIAMS: Yes, exactly.
WATTERS: That's it. All right. I like it. All right, we'll see if you can do better than Juan. That's a very high bar from yesterday.
Julian Assange could soon be extradited to the United States after being arrested this morning. He'd been hold-up in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London for almost 7 years before being evicted. Dramatic video showing the bearded WikiLeaks founder shouting as he was being hauled away.
The DOJ charging him with conspiracy to help former army intelligence analyst, Chelsea Manning, hack into the Pentagon's computers to steal information. Assange's attorneys are vowing to fight the extradition and saying it's a crackdown on the free press.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This sets a dangerous precedent for all media organizations and journalist in Europe and elsewhere around the world. This precedent means that any journalist can be extradited for prosecution in the United States for having published truthful information about the United States.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Edward Snowden, the former security contractor who leaked classified information about America surveillance program is calling Assange's arrest, quote, a dark moment for press freedom. Other reaction also pouring in.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If you believe in national security, if you believe in the safety of the United States, he's a villain.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In my opinion, Julian Assange is a hero. He'd be probably extradited here. We will see the indictment. And we'll probably have a show trial.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I do not regard him as a hero.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I just think it's about time. Julian Assange has put American lives at risk.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm glad that the wheels of justice are finally turning when it comes to Mr. Assange. I've never been a fan. I think what he did was a despicable and dangerous.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: And President Trump was also asked about it earlier.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: I know nothing about WikiLeaks. It's not my thing. And I know there is something having to do with Julian Assange. I've been seeing what's happened with Assange. And that will be a determination, I would imagine, mostly by the attorney general.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: All right. Well, we'll get to that in a second. But people's opinions, Greg, of Julian Assange have really changed over the years. At first, the Democrats loved him, then they hated him, and where do they stand now?
GUTFELD: Well, here's the deal. I emailed Dana and our producer Megan this morning. Was it about 9 AM? And I said I don't want to do this story because I can't even remember how I feel about Julian Assange, because we - - when The Five began, I guess this must -- well --
DANA PERINO, HOST: It's 2010, 11.
GUTFELD: I can't tell you how I feel about Assange, and I don't think most of America even remembers because the last three to four years has been turned upside down. Every ideology, every side, every team sport has been somehow mixed up and changed, so I can't tell you how I feel. But I will find an argument in this.
So people that are upset about this arrest are saying this is an attack on journalism, a dark day on journalism. If that is true, then you could never arrest anybody hacking into your computer or maybe even breaking into your apartment. Let's say my assistant goes into my computer and takes all of my emails, right? It doesn't matter if there's good stuff in there or bad stuff, she is stealing my property.
Let's say if she ships that over to the Washington Post and they have a story about me running this amazing drug ring out of my office, not true.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: But the point is she has broken the law. Now if you want to commit journalism and there's a risk of breaking the law, then fine. You've got to pay the price. But if somebody is taking something that belongs to you, in this case that's what the charge is, is breaking into a state department computer and stealing.
If somebody comes in and is taking my emails, that is theft. Can you call theft journalism? I don't think you can. There is no reporting in theft, right? It's only a story if they find something in your emails. But that's not journalism. That is hacking. That's my theory.
WATTERS: That is a great theory.
GUTFELD: Or maybe not.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: One of many great theories from you, Greg. Dana, the Obama administration didn't charge Assange with what he is now being charged with, and people are saying, well, why was it not illegal then, but now it is.
PERINO: No, I think it's because -- a couple of things, my opinion about Assange has never changed.
WATTERS: You hate him.
PERINO: It is not about tribalism. Like, I'm team America. What he -- he's not even American. How does he get first amendment protection like for journalism?
GUTFELD: See, now we remember the shows we did.
PERINO: It was bad, right? I mean --
GUTFELD: You were -- yes.
PERINO: But I was right. Anyway. No -- OK, so that is very interesting, so one of the things about the Obama administration that they're stymied. One, there were actual intelligence harms that were done, diplomatic harms that resulted from this.
WATTERS: Huge.
PERINO: And then you had the whole thing about Bradley Manning's transformation. Now she's Chelsea Manning. There's all that -- Obama pardoned her at the end or commute her sentence.
WATTERS: Right.
PERINO: And then these people take on these mythical -- like they're heroes. Well, one a hero and one a heroin now, I guess. But the Obama administration couldn't figure out how to charge him without him being able to get journalistic protection.
GUTFELD: Right.
PERINO: But I think it's pretty amazing. And the Trump administration should be like, look at us, we figured it out, because they were the ones - - I don't know whether to additional investigation, maybe we'll find this out, but they were the ones who say this is not a first amendment claim, this is a national security threat. This was theft.
And for the rest of these people -- they want all of our information to be open and free to everybody, except for they howl about internet companies and privacy. It's bizarre.
WATTERS: It is bizarre. Speaking of bizarre, Juan, look great today after a big birthday night out, I'm sure.
WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah, that was me.
(LAUGHTER)
WATTERS: It seems like the left, especially in the media, are trying to link President Trump with Julian Assange now, and they're pulling all these tapes, I guess, from the campaign when the president was saying WikiLeaks, I can't wait to read what they said. And I guess that's the new collusion, perhaps, is that it?
WILLIAMS: No, I think, you know, he was encouraging them. And then today, when he was here he says, WikiLeaks, I know nothing about WikiLeaks. I mean, it's so obviously wrong-headed and he's just trying to avoid any connection. But, you know, let's leave that alone. I mean, that's politics.
WATTERS: Right.
WILLIAMS: But I'm very interested in this story because it's evidence that the -- first, the Ecuadorians threw him out and they say he was not a good (INAUDIBLE).
(LAUGHTER)
PERINO: But he was also threatening their government.
WILLIAMS: Correct, that's what I'm saying.
PERINO: He'll release more information about Ecuador.
WILLIAMS: Right. I didn't want to get on. But clearly, the first step is that they had been granting him asylum by holding him in that embassy. And once he's out, then he's subject to possible extradition. And that's when -- now, the U.S. charge is very careful. It doesn't get into the argument that Greg and Dana have been going through about journalism, not journalism.
It simply says you were a co-conspirator in terms of helping Chelsea Manning to hack into our defense department computers. That's clearly illegal. That's their strongest stand. And that's why I think he can be then extradited, and he's likely to lose that case, in my opinion.
When you ask me, though, I mean -- you know, I got hurt by WikiLeaks because I lost my cell phone and I was awakened in Las Vegas after it was hacked and they had my cell phone and I just -- it's just very unpleasant.
WATTERS: I got to use that excuse once, too.
WILLIAMS: But I got to say that I think there's a big --
GUTFELD: You were answering the phone on air. Do you remember that?
PERINO: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: Well, I remember you answer -- people got a huge kick out of you answering my phone.
PERINO: Live on air?
GUTFELD: Yes.
WILLIAMS: Yes. But afterwards -- no, in fact, Dana, afterwards people, you know, were still calling numbers, so I got rid of it and they'd say can I talk to Greg. What about me. What am I? Chopped liver here?
But I got to say, serious news organizations, you -- well, you can be handy. You can walk in and say, hey, Juan, here's the Pentagon papers. And I'll say, well, let me see it. And I -- you know, but it's not me telling you here's how you go get -- here's how to break the law.
WATTERS: Right, the allegation was he was trying to crack the passwords in order to infiltrate the state department system. And amazing how he was able to stay in the embassy for seven years. There must have been a lot of behind the scenes dealings between the Ecuadorians, and the British, and the U.S.
COMPAGNO: Well, no longer. And you guys -- all of you are -- your feelings, you inclination, they're totally correct. So legally think of it as a brilliant strategy, frankly, that the U.S., DOJ has undergone at this point because their burden of proof on this is so low, it's so clear, it's so simple. You are right, it has nothing to do with what was stolen or what was published or what was done. It's -- you broke into the house.
GUTFELD: Right.
COMPAGNO: So there's no defense beyond that, that even needs to be address at this point. The U.K.-U.S. extradition treaty is such that, right now, at this point, the next step after this whole jumpy and bail thing which we know he might face up to a year in jail in the U.K., is that they will, the U.K. court, will review the indicting, the charging document.
And if there is the requisite specificity that goes to their level of acceptance, then they extradite him here. So, as we know, he also faces up to just simply five years in prison. And to me, that's also is interesting. We kind of talked about this before the show that the seven years of his self-imposed exile and the wretched creature we saw being brought out of the embassy today, he was in a worse hell and worse prison anticipating all of this and worrying about it and freaking out, than --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: By Pamela Anderson.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: But, Emily, what about the statute of limitations, is there one?
COMPAGNO: If there is, it's usually five years. However, because he was granted asylum by Ecuador, to me it tolls the statute of limitations. And there is no way that the U.S. underwent all of this in the grand jury proceedings last year without having them know that they can rely on that to toll it, which means to pause it. So I think the first amendment arguments --
WILLIAMS: On the left people say that he's a hero because, you know, it turned out that he revealed some information about the U.S. government, in fact, monitoring or surveilling American citizens. And we, as Americans, have the right to know is the argument. But this is not about this. This is about a guy who was participating what I think was an illegal breach of American security.
WATTERS: Well, also a villain on the left for the Hillary Clinton and Podesta --
WILLIAMS: Well, yeah. Why did the New York Times and Washington Post use that illegal information?
WATTERS: Right. All right. Coming up, the New York Post eviscerates Congresswoman Omar over her outrageous 9/11 comments. But first, Democrats and the media in full-on meltdown mode after Attorney General Barr says the Trump campaign was spied on. The video is next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: It's in California, right?
PERINO: The fallout -- well, wait. What is this --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Northern California. Janis Joplin, Steve Miller, fantastic.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: I'm very honored you chose this song for me and so is the Attorney General William Barr because he dropped this bombshell during a hearing on Capitol Hill yesterday.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAM BARR, ATTORNEY GENERAL: I think spying on a political campaign is a big deal. Yes, I think spying did occur.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Democrats and some of the media are furious with Barr for saying spying did occur on the Trump campaign in 2016. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The chief law enforcement officer of our country is going off the rails. He is Attorney General of the United States of America, not the attorney general of Donald Trump.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The country's chief law enforcement officer went in front of Congress today and gave credence to a fact-less conspiracy theory.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It feels like we -- that basically the attorney general gas-lit the country.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: When Barr opens his mouth, Trump's words come popping out.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So he acted more like a personal lawyer for Donald Trump today, rather than the attorney general.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is he a toodee? Is he saying the kind of language that Trump wants to hear him use?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: OK. Greg, so I think of Bill Barr as somebody very professional, who chooses his words carefully, and tries to be very, you know, mature and reserved, but --
GUTFELD: They brought back Brennan from the -- for that.
PERINO: Yeah.
GUTFELD: And now they're using the words gas? You know what this is? The media trying to make a dozen sandwiches out of one cold cut. It's the collusion cold cut. They're down to one stale piece of ham. They need collusion helper, right? They need to make this meal bigger because now they're just arguing over words. Months ago it was about -- we have a Russian spy in the White House, now they're arguing over whether spy is positive or negative. You know, the media were expecting this giant, massive --
PERINO: Hoagie.
GUTFELD: Hoagie. And all they got was a wet noodle. But, I mean, the fact that they're bringing Brennan back is just like horrible. It's like, dude, he burned you already.
PERINO: Now, Jesse, I do think that the attorney general -- obviously, he's very mature, this is not his first rodeo. He was confirmed unanimously by the senate when he worked for George H.W. Bush back in the day. But do you think that perhaps given the Democrats something to howl about was also part of his plan?
WATTERS: Well, he did say that there was spying, but he also said we know -- we need to know what it was predicated on, and that's where the investigation is now going to go. Greg's right. They're playing word games now. You know, it's not a crisis.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: Don't say radical Islam, don't say spying. Shawn Davis on twitter had a great line said, Obama's spy agents weren't spying, they were just using covert overseas intelligence assets and signal intelligence obtained via national security letters and FISA warrants to secretly collect and distribute information about private U.S. citizens. Permission to make an analogy.
PERINO: Absolutely.
WATTERS: OK. Say Juan gets framed for murder that he didn't commit, all right? Then he gets acquitted. Wouldn't you want internal affairs to look into how the whole thing happened?
WILLIAMS: I want to go home.
(LAUGHTER)
WATTERS: Yeah, exactly. I want to know how the whole thing happened. The media is so corrupt. They're not interested in the truth. They're not interested in the fact. You have a Democrat administration spying on a Republican presidential campaign, and the media is saying, nah, I don't care. I don't care. They don't care --
PERINO: But they want to --
WATTERS: -- they were complicit in it, that's why.
PERINO: But they want to investigate Julian Assange and WikiLeaks and their involvement in spying on the Democrats.
WATTERS: Right.
PERINO: Juan?
WILLIAMS: Well, I just -- I have a very strong differing point of view here, because I think Bill Barr knew that he wasn't hanging out with his chums just talking. He knew he was in front of the Congress of the United States, and he use that term. And I think he did it in sort of a pandering gesture to President Trump's talk about coups and witch hunts.
I mean, to me, you know, the I.G., the inspector general at justice is apparently already looking into this. He should have simply said let's wait and see what the inspector general finds. And to Jesse's point, you know, a FISA report, even if you said we used a FISA document, that's thoroughly legal. That's part of the legal structure.
WATTERS: Yeah. But we don't know if it was done legally, Juan.
WILLIAMS: No, of course -- it went to the court, it went to the FISA judges who said --
WATTERS: Yeah. But we don't know if they use the dossier --
WATTERS: No, no, no.
WATTERS: -- to hoodwinked the FISA judge.
WILLIAMS: In other words, Jesse, it was repeatedly put before the FISA court judges who made a determination.
WATTERS: OK. So everything is on the up and up, is that what you're saying?
WILLIAMS: That's what I'm saying.
WATTERS: OK. So why can't we investigate it?
WILLIAMS: The inspector general is. But he --
WATTERS: So is Barr.
WILLIAMS: No. Barr says he has no evidence and then later tries to walk it back --
WATTERS: Juan, no evidence. You have FISA warrants --
WILLIAMS: FISA warrant is a legal document.
WATTERS: You have human intelligence assets --
WILLIAMS: What are you talking about?
WATTERS: Juan, Juan, they had --
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: -- in the 2016 campaign, there was Russian interference to help Donald Trump --
WATTERS: Blah, blah, blah.
WILLIAMS: -- and, of course, U.S. intelligence was doing its job to look into --
PERINO: Can I get Emily in?
WATTERS: One more thing. If you have a paid FBI informant trying to gain access to the Trump campaign, and he's being paid by the Obama administration --
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: OK. So, Juan, was Stefan Halper a paid informant, yes or no?
WILLIAMS: Yes, by the --
WATTERS: OK
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: You have a paid British intelligence asset, Stefan Halper, trying to get a job on the Trump campaign and invited Papadopoulos over to London and set him up --
WILLIAMS: You know what? This is a -- you're engaged in a torture conspiracy theory.
WATTERS: They're all coming out now.
WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah.
PERINO: Emily, talk real fast and say what you want to say.
COMPAGNO: OK. That none of these people have memories, but I do. In 2013 when there was an entire freak-out about the FISA court at that time, and about Verizon and Prism and how it was used, there was a bipartisan bill that was led by Rome Widen and Patrick Lahey to declassify significant rulings of the FISA court.
And Nancy Pelosi, for example, back then said that the administration is just the custodian of info. And who owns it? The people, she said. And she was dang clear that she would not vote for the reauthorization of the Patriot Act in 05 and, again, in 2013. And here they all are not caring apparently this time around that there's a strong evidentiary assumption happening that in fact the government did expound its limits.
And so, for some reason now, everyone cease to care. And I don't --
PERINO: I like it when you use those big words and everyone goes --
GUTFELD: No, did you hear -- no, you missed it. She said dang.
PERINO: I did hear that. I guess she's very restrain. All right, up next, the New York Post is not holding back with this powerful cover condemning Ilhan Omar's 9/11 comments.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
COMPAGNO: Ilhan Omar under fire again, this time for these comments about the 9/11 terror attacks.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. ILHAN OMAR, D-MINN.: Here's the truth. Far too long we have lived with the discomfort of being a second class citizen. And, frankly, I'm tired of it. And every single Muslim in this country should be tired of it.
(APPLAUSE)
OMAR: CAIR was founded after 9/11 because they recognized that some people did something and that all of us were starting to lose access to our civil liberties.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
COMPAGNO: The New York Post slamming the freshman congresswoman's 9/11 brushoff with this cover. The paper also ripping her in an op-ed, quote, how pathetic, a member of Congress can't acknowledge what happened on one of the most horrific days in U.S. history. Some people did something? Wow. What a way to describe the heinous surprise attack on America that claimed 3,000 lives.
Omar was on the late show last night, but Steven Colbert did not ask her about the comments. She did, however, complain about what she says was a double standard over criticism of her anti-Semitic comments.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OMAR: This kind of double standard really is quite, you know, offensive and is very much embedded in a lot of our culture these days where you will have people get -- come after minorities for things that they say -- they might have insinuated.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
COMPAGNO: All right, Greg, that was a pretty powerful message from the New York Post.
GUTFELD: Yeah, it was one of their best covers. I -- first up, the media strategy here is to gauge our response or frame our response as more offensive than what she said. They're creating an armor of victimhood for her. But victimhood holds no candle to the families and the victims of 9/11 -- and a country that was devastated.
But I'm going to say that she made -- she made a mistake. I don't think she excused terror. She thought that the truth would offend her hosts.
COMPAGNO: Yes.
GUTFELD: So she is guilty of Islamophobia because she believed that using the strong moral language about 9/11 would offend her friends at CAIR, so she conflated the aims of CAIR with the desires of the hijackers. Or else, why wouldn't she condemn it outright and say -- these could have been easily solved, as you've said, you know, these terrorists came and destroyed, and attacked this -- America, a country I loved dearly.
But we have been harmed, too, since then. That would have been the shift. But she felt that she couldn't say that because she didn't want to offend her host. And that's in her own psychological conflation. She's the Islamophobe in that case, and she could have rectified it simply by just saying they were terrorists.
COMPAGNO: Totally, Dana she complains about a double standard.
PERINO: Well I think I talked in A block or the B block about Bill Barr as somebody who chooses his words carefully and sometimes you get in trouble for things because you say it on live TV and then he didn't really mean it that way. She chooses her words carefully as well and it's for that exact reason.
Other than the Green New Deal and Medicare for All, the Republicans best political tool to use is to go against her and her comments. There are 31 Democrats that won this past year in 2018 where Trump won the district as well. So, Trump won in 2016, the Democrats squeaks out a win in 2018. They are the ones that are the targets for the Republicans to try to take back the House. And every single one of them is going to have to answer. Do you agree with Congresswoman Omar? And they're going to have to figure out a way to distance and this happens in wave elections like in 2018. People get swept ashore that wouldn't necessarily be able to usually win in an election and the Democrats have a real situation on their hands.
COMPAGNO: Jesse, what are your thoughts?
WATTERS: I mean I can't believe she was on Colbert.
GUTFELD: That's your take away.
WATTERS: Think about this. Imagine you're in from out of town and you get tickets to The Late Show and they try to go more out and you're like, oh! My God who is this person. She's not an A lister, B lister. She comes out and watch this, it's funny, they probably won't show it. She doesn't know how to wave. She goes like this with her hand. She goes like this like a robot, which is weird. She sits down, acts totally uncomfortable and insecure. The audience is dead silent. It's probably the worst booking of all time but on to what she said, she doesn't know how to read the room.
She's in Congress now, she's not back in her district in Minnesota with her radical friends. She represents the United States of America. And as a member of Congress you do not act dismissively towards 9/11 and about the 9/11 hijackers. She obviously doesn't get that and that's a huge problem. And what she does is, this is her MO, she says dumb and controversial things. She gets called out for it and then she plays the victim and plays the race card. And it's not a clever act and it's getting tired and you know who is probably the most tired of it, Nancy Pelosi.
Nancy Pelosi, they do well. The Democrats when they try to keep a lid on the radicalism. Omar has come in the first three months blown the whole lid off. I mean it's April and she's already been accused of anti-Semitism and anti-Americanism and we're not even like three months into the new Congress.
COMPAGNO: Totally. So, Juan I mean what does the House leadership do? What do they do with us?
WILLIAMS: I don't think they have to do much. I mean I don't - I think Dana is way off track on this. I don't think that they can go after her, they go after AOC. They make them into demons. Look that's not the issue that's going to be at stake in 2020 in the presidential race or midterms. President Trump is also playing this. Jewish people come vote. You know what, everybody sees that for what it is. And the New York Post that's an inflammatory cover. There are lots of news organizations that wouldn't even use that cover and haven't used it. But I think that you know even if you say it's appropriate because of her comments I would say it doesn't live up. It's not enough what she said to justify something as upsetting to me personally as to see a moment when I think thousands of people died in that moment. And my fellow Americans. I just think it wasn't enough for that.
I will say this--
GUTFELD: Do you think is it a good reminder though. It was not the point?
PERINO: Never forget.
WILLIAMS: No, I think it was an attempt again because she's an easy target and--
GUTFELD: Just legitimate rage in that cover.
WILLIAMS: No, but that cover doesn't fit with what she said. She was flipped and I think she didn't speak carefully, Greg, But I do think she needs to be careful because people will pick apart what she says. She has a legitimate point; she's misstated the date when CAIR was founded. But she has a legitimate point in terms of whether or not they were fellow Americans who are Muslim were on unfairly demonized in the aftermath of it.
COMPAGNO: All right, we've got to go. Up next, Amazon employees are reportedly listening to what you tell Alexa.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: I love it. All right. Amazon's Alexa isn't the only one listening to your conversation it turns out the tech giants' employees are listening too. Amazon reportedly has thousands of workers reviewing, transcribing, recordings from its echo device. The company says it's being done so that Alexa can better understand and respond to human speech. But the new information is raising serious privacy concerns. That's because employees are reportedly saying they have chatrooms where they share amusing recordings among themselves. Amazon is saying it takes customers security and privacy very seriously. Dana, you're making noises.
PERINO: I am.
GUTFELD: I've heard them before.
PERINO: Maybe three years ago I got an Alexa and then we used it a little bit. I was kind of confusing. As for the Jeopardy question of the day. The joke of the day. Like maybe that could you play a podcast. Never I couldn't get it to work that well. Technological owner operated problems and then we went away on that trip to Africa. We came back and it didn't work, and I couldn't get it to reset. And they're like well you can't connect. We can't connect to your Wi-Fi and basically--
GUTFELD: It died of loneliness.
PERINO: It died, and I've never plugged it back in because of this concern. I don't - remember that story we had where the conversation accidentally gets uploaded to all the friends.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: Contact list. I don't want anything to do with.
GUTFELD: Yes, the stuff I talk about with Peter is disgusting.
WILLIAMS: You've heard it. I thought you'd heard it.
GUTFELD: Jasper.
WILLIAMS: So, Emily they haven't done anything elite. There's nobody saying that what they're doing is illegal. I think the point here is that so many of us Americans. Maybe Dana is in this. We don't know what we're doing when we buy these devices. I mean because there are unintended consequences to Facebook, to Amazon and Google. They're using us.
COMPAGNO: Totally, I think this is one more example of a Pandora's box of data and information about which we know nothing. And we have no control. And I think the things that stuck out to me about this are number on the whole - the human designation of critical data. So, for example if your conversations include banking data then these guys are like we're marking that one. It reminded me of those mass discovery teams that are employed for big cases in law where just a bunch of young attorneys are like looking through documents. This one's privileged. Is this one and it's so rife with error. And then I just want to bring up two questions that it's - they're open ended. What is the duty and what is the scope?
Do these people I keep saying kids do these people have a duty to report when they overhear a sexual assault. Because from what we know thus far when they brought it to the chain they didn't. And then in terms of scope. Remember when law enforcement tried to subpoena evidence from Alexa of certain crimes. Then Amazon was like no way. And so, to me I think it also - it just raises a lot of questions certainly more than answering that.
WILLIAMS: So, Jesse, if it raises a lot of questions would you put your faith in the company?
WATTERS: Yes. This is what I do since I know Alexa is spying on me. I like to butter up my eavesdroppers. So, when I have the Alexa on, I'll say something like I think Jeff Bezos is an incredibly innovative capitalist or since we know the Chinese are listening, I'll be at Mar-a-Lago because we know they have spies there and I'll save over cocktails, I'll just drop this in a conversation. Chairman Xi is a strong leader.
And we know the CIA is watching and listening. So, I'll text my mom. I think the CIA is just trying to keep us safe, because Juan, the CIA, Alexa, Chinese all spying on us. Can I use that word spying? Is that OK? Can we say spying?
WILLIAMS: Thank you, Mr. Attorney General.
WATTERS: Do I need to say surveillance.
WILLIAMS: I guess Donald Trump; they do that one.
WATTERS: That's right.
WILLIAMS: OK. Greg,
GUTFELD: Well you know the problem is the company will claim, many companies claim that using your information helps them better target you with the ads for products you want. The problem is you really are what you buy.
WILLIAMS: I agree.
GUTFELD: And so, if you've ever been sitting in--
WATTERS: Your ribs.
GUTFELD: Yes> If you're ever sitting in front of your computer with a friend or a spouse and an ad pops up that is arguably targeting a personal desire or need, it can get pretty awkward when it does something shows up.
PERINO: I don't understand.
COMPAGNO: Like an ad.
GUTFELD: A certain product.
PERINO: Like a what.
GUTFELD: That you were searching for.
PERINO: I don't get it.
COMPAGNO: Like if you and Greg were sitting out in a computer and it pulls up an ad that was targeted.
GUTFELD: So, to your point, technology happens first and then we're scrambling to create the boundaries. I made a list of the texts that have been ahead of human consequences. Smartphones which led to - have led to car accidents, social media which leads to bullying and scapegoating. Computers have led to hacking and attacks on grids and viruses. Alexa, Google in loss of privacy. We have these - we create these things and then we're trying to get back and figure out how to put that cat back into the sack. But you can't put that cat in a sack, Emily. It's too late. The cat's out of the sack and the horse left the bag.
WILLIAMS: The milk is on the floor.
GUTFELD: The milk is on the floor.
WILLIAMS: All right. I don't know. My think is it's just so complicated. People don't understand it. Reality TV star Kim Kardashian, she's taking up a new career as a lawyer. Yes, you heard me right, a lawyer. Gregory has got it next on The Five.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Very good. He's got me.
PERINO: He is really good.
GUTFELD: What's the dude's name in Operation Ivy. He moved on to another band. Was he married to Brody something?
COMPAGNO: Michaels.
GUTFELD: Let's do the monologue. What's the last thing you'd expect Kim Kardashian to reveal that she's studying to become a lawyer? That's right. Khloe Kardashian's sister is apprenticing at a law firm likely triggered by her successful involvement in getting Trump to pardon Alice Marie Johnson. The 63-year-old woman jailed for years on non-violent drug charges and I say why not. After all, if this person could become a lawyer and this person can become a lawyer and this person could become a lawyer and I say person loosely, why can't Kim. She's got more sense than all of them combined.
By the way, Avenatti just got his $5 million private jet confiscated. What's that tell you that this litigating lollipop had $5 million and spent it on a private jet. The point lawyers get away with everything because they know how to get around everything. Avenatti only got caught because the media's roach motel drew him out of the nooks and crannies where he did his dirty work.
CNN and MSNBC put that creep on TV a zillion times only because they thought he was just like them. Maybe they were right. Look, we should all become lawyers because if you look at life, it's basically a game of Monopoly and lawyers are the people who write the instructions and actually take a few minutes to read them without a lot agree we're just saps. So, instead of mocking Kim for bringing a little boom boom to the courtroom we should follow her lead and let her rest her case wherever she wants.
Emily you claim to be a lawyer and I don't doubt it for one second, you talk like a lawyer. Very fast, very fast. You read everything the small print; you know what's going on in this world.
COMPAGNO: Sometimes.
GUTFELD: I'm scared of you.
COMPAGNO: OK, on this.
GUTFELD: That wasn't a question. Go ahead.
COMPAGNO: I think what struck me about her reasonings for this. And first of all, she's not going to law school. She is undertaking a four-year apprenticeship with a law firm after the first year she takes a mini bar exam. If she passes, then she's allowed to continue the apprenticeship and then she will take the actual California bar.
But her statement was, if I knew more I could do more.
GUTFELD: Exactly.
COMPAGNO: And I'm not sure--
WATTERS: If I knew more, I could do more.
PERINO: Get it.
COMPAGNO: Yes. Just basically that I wonder however if being an attorney is that I think somebody with millions of followers who is literally the influencer of the century for everyone else you know. But people at this table then I think maybe she could do more with her attention rather or the attention on her rather than this potential.
GUTFELD: But if she knew less, then she would dress less. I don't know, Juan thoughts. Hurray.
WILLIAMS: If she knew less, she would dress less.
GUTFELD: No, I'm just saying--
WILLIAMS: I'm all for it.
GUTFELD: The opposite of what she said.
WILLIAMS: I would say she is distracting in the courtroom, but I think this to me is like amateur hour and she heads - she said she was in, I think it was the Roosevelt room at the White House with the President, with the lawyers for Alice Johnson. She's like boy these people are making powerful decision; I want to know more.
To me, it's very juvenile. But you know what she's going to have to stick it through. As you said a four-year deal and you know what, let's look at the positive side. As you said Emily, she's very influential with young people who hold her up, who admire her. Clearly, she has now morphed into somebody who says I want to do more with my life. I really want to have impact on America and the criminal justice system. Go girl you've got it.
GUTFELD: You know Dana, you know what, when you're around a good lawyer, it's a superpower. It's like they have access to stuff you don't. That's what drives--
PERINO: And you're going to need one.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: You need a good lawyer in your life. Law school, I've heard is like taking three foreign languages at the same time. But I would add one thing.
GUTFELD: What?
PERINO: If she knew how, she would have more wow.
GUTFELD: There you go. It's pretty good. Jesse why don't - when the solution be to teach law in grade school.
WATTERS: I can't get over her statement. I knew more, I would do more.
GUTFELD: She's earnest. She's trying. You think knowing more is overrated, aren't you?
PERINO: My favorite is when Jesse gets tears in his eyes.
WATTERS: What's her hourly rate? What do you think it's going to be? 200,300.
GUTFELD: I think 500.
WATTERS: 500.
PERINO: Make sure do it for free.
WATTERS: Pro bono.
GUTFELD: All right.
COMPAGNO: Law school, I mean that's the other thing.
GUTFELD: What?
COMPAGNO: Would you hire a lawyer that didn't go to law school.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: Just to take pictures with her.
GUTFELD: I don't know. All right. One More Thing is up next. What's the song?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WATTERS: Time now for One More Thing. It is Jesse's feeding frenzy. Here it is. All right. Game of Thrones Oreos. Look at this package. It's pretty sweet right here. Check that out. Season 8 premiere I think is this Sunday. So, try these Oreos. Game of Thrones, they're delicious.
Also, Lay's has a new thing they're doing called turning up the flavor, three new flavors of chips inspired by music genres. We have wavy electric lime and sea salt that's pop music, flaming hot and dill pickle and kettle cooked classic beer and cheese. I'm going to go with the hot one. Let's do this.
GUTFELD: A dollar for every time you said that.
WATTERS: Spicy, Dana. Take it away.
PERINO: All right. Baseball fans at the Las Vegas ballpark all joined together to boo the umpire. But it wasn't because of a bad call, it was because of this. Watch. So, Finn, the bat dog is trained to run the field and collect bats throughout the baseball games. And when the umpire stole Finn's job, the crowd not happy. They jeer the umpire's error. Finn still ran over; he completed his task running the bat off the field and then he tweeted it might be the loudest boo in the history of umpires, but I still love you guys though.
WATTERS: Speaking of calling balls and strikes, I'm on Hannity tonight. What's so funny, Greg.
GUTFELD: I love how you do that.
WATTERS: Greg. Go ahead.
GUTFELD: All right. Tanuki's (ph) sun, I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly has created a new robot that seeks out the sun when you're not home. So, your plans get adequate sunlight so they can grow the - caught the implication of this. It can kill your plants too, it can decide--
COMPAGNO: Too much sun.
GUTFELD: To run away from the sun and kill your plants. This is part of the takeover. First, they get our plants then it's our children.
PERINO: They're trying to come up with the bound.
GUTFELD: Advocate.
WATTERS: Juan Williams.
WILLIAMS: All right.
WATTERS: All right, Emily. Hurry up.
WILLIAMS: All right. You heard about the crying nun. How about a nun with a flying fastball? That sister Mary Jo Sobieck throwing a strike at the Chicago White Sox game last August, the video went viral and now tops the baseball card company is giving her own card featuring her. The sister teaches theology at Marian Catholic High School. She's donating the money she got from the licensing to a Catholic Scholarship Fund. God works many a miracle.
WATTERS: All right, Emily we don't have time for you. So, here's a chip.
PERINO: But you know what you had the best music.
WATTERS: Great music. All right.
WILLIAMS: It was great music.
WATTERS: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five."
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