Dennis Miller on Debt Debate, Food Police

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," July 27, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: three hot topics, so let's get to the sage of Southern California, who joins us now from Los Angeles. I just want to reiterate what you do with the little hand thing is the Johnny Carson Carnac. I always get mail. Younger viewers don't remember Mr. Carson. It's a classic bit he did. All right. Are you a Hamptons kind of guy, Miller?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, Lionel Hamptons, yes, I always dug him. But if you're asking me if Friday afternoon if I'm going to go out and get in that Bataan death match traffic to go out to Amagansett, play a little croquet with Sean Combs, no, I've got some paint to ogle.

O'REILLY: Do you -- you live in an affluent place in Southern California, where a lot of people are a lot -- very similar to the people that Watters talked to. Do you mingle freely with them? How do you see the very wealthy?

MILLER: I dig the really wealthy, but I dig poor people, too. I dig people in the middle. I dig people, and then I don't like some people. And I don't judge it on the caste system of what they earn.

O'REILLY: So people who like, people are the luckiest people in the world? Is it…

MILLER: You're going to make me cry. You're going to make me cry. Listen, what I don't dig is polo. What is that? It's like miniature golf meets the Kentucky Derby. What's happening there?

O'REILLY: And the windmill right in the middle. Those horses get smacked right into it, a big dinosaur at the end.

MILLER: By the way, what about Jesse standing next to Nacho? Was there a discrepancy in physical appearance there? That guy's named Nacho. Jesse, the women were calling him, "Eh, Nacho Much."

O'REILLY: But I love -- I love the answer. "I like to play the game I love." OK. It's great. He had no idea what Watters was asking him: "Do you feel guilty about playing this game for $10,000 a pop while a lot of the country doesn't have a job?" "But I love to play."

MILLER: You know -- you know, Jesse wasn't paying attention anyway because he was thinking of going back and trying to close that chick in the orange dress again.

O'REILLY: He's not doing that. You know him.

MILLER: What, he's a eunuch?

O'REILLY: Straight arrow. Straight arrow. All right. Obama, Boehner back and forth. Are you tired of it yet?

MILLER: Well, listen, the other night when I watched Barack Obama, I was reminded, Bill, that he's led a rich man's life. He just never had to do any of the messy earning. You know, he's always been on other people's dimes. But man, he's led a much richer life than me. I like Boehner. Tammy Faye comes in in the "Green Lantern" sign. I like him coming over the top of the trump card there. But if I was Boehner, I'd get real authentic and just start smoking Smicks (ph) when I was talking, like Lloyd Bridges in "Airplane." And just keep firing them off saying, "We're screwed here. We're in trouble here. We've got to do something here." But he was a little too cool for me. But I think Boehner should have a reverse debt telethon, where we start the telethon with $14.5 trillion up on the board, and then through the 24 hours, we work back from there. The simple fact is we're spending too much. The president makes a nice speech, but at the end of the day, we still got to stop spending. He's smooth at it. I think we ought to have a prompter tax. Maybe we could get out of the hole.

O'REILLY: But I think he's -- I think President Obama is taking a massive hit here. I'm looking at all the poll numbers roll in, and it's about leadership. It really isn't about the issue anymore.

MILLER: But Billy...

O'REILLY: It's about the people saying, "You got -- you just can't get it done."

MILLER: I've got to give you credit. You're one of the most open-minded guys on him. You held out for a long time because I think you believe in giving the guy an honest bounce, and I know you think he's bright. Guess what? I'm not getting it off him anymore. He's a little too obstinate. He's got to change the template of the game here. He's not going to. He's not going to budge. And I think that's going to mark him as history as one of those guys who was not, you know, mellifluous enough with the situation. If the situation starts ebbing and flowing, you've got to roll with it, and he's too intractable. And it's going to bite him in the tail historically.

O'REILLY: As we talked about up top, he -- I think he's afraid of the Soros people and the far left, because they won't support him and get the vote out for him and all of that.

MILLER: Well, there's around 50 percent of the people out here like me who would be right on his bandwagon if he just put his foot down and say, "I tried my way. It's not working. I'm here to serve the country. Soros, shut up. I'm going this way now."

O'REILLY: I agree. I think that's his only chance right now. OK, now Miller and I had dinner a few weeks ago. We were trying to figure out this "Bolder Fresher" tour thing, and we ate at this chichi restaurant. Of course, I picked up the tab. And you know, I forget what you had to eat, but it was very reasonable. You were eating in a reasonable fashion.

MILLER: I think we had scallops, and...

O'REILLY: Some of that stuff. And we had Bellini, I think it was. But I don't know what that is. But it was supposedly on there.

MILLER: Well, it's a drink. It's a drink from Cipriani's in Venice. It's a great drink.

O'REILLY: Oh, is that right? No idea.

MILLER: Stay with me. I'll educate you. I'm David Niven.

O'REILLY: Do you eat junk food? And if so, do you want it taxed?

MILLER: I don't usually like junk food, but when I watch a person like Meme Roth on your show last night, it makes me want to go out and get a Bloomin' Onion and shove it down my gullet. Listen, Meme, I'm sorry you've got a fat grandma, but take the bag of Fiddle Faddle out of her meaty paw and get out of my life. I don't even want to know you. I find you terminally irksome. Who's going to pay for that in the Medicare program?

Listen, what's the sense of all these people lecturing me what they want me to eat? So I can stay alive another four years and have idiot strangers telling me how they'd like me to navigate my day-to-day life? Leave me alone, for God's sakes. You eat what you want. And she's having a Coke and a steak a week. When do they eventually come to her and say, "We don't even want you having a Coke and a steak a week." That's when she'll get PO'd. Right now, I'm thinking I dig fat kids. I like watching the sumo babies on YouTube. Leave me alone.

O'REILLY: All right. But the point that Meme is making is that you're going to get sick, Miller, and you're going to topple over, and Meme is going to have to pay for it.

MILLER: Well, half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me, all right? Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.

O'REILLY: All right. Dennis Miller, everybody, laying it on the line. There he goes.

And both Miller and I would like you to check out a brand-new website, On it you'll find information about our shows together, beginning August 20, Westbury, Long Island. Ninety percent sold out. So get the seats that are left while we have them. And then we'll see you in Connecticut at Mohegan Sun on October 29. Details also available on There you go.

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