Why the Terrorists Would Never Target Hollywood

So I'm watching the part of the Oscars where they had our troops introducing the award for best documentary short when my roommate, Scott the flight attendant, had an idea for a movie.

It's about terrorists striking the Oscars! Talk about a red carpet — with clumps of Versace and Valentino everywhere! The only survivors find safe haven under Michael Moore, who oddly enough, emerges unscathed.

That's offensive, I said. But, still I wondered, how would Hollywood respond to such an attack? In the film version, of course, Bruce Willis would come to the rescue, and annihilate every member of Al Qaeda.

But in reality, Hollywood would be outraged, then conflicted, until uniting together in agreement that its all Bush's fault -- or rather, Bush-itler.

Hollywood's need to reject America in favor of tolerating the truly intolerant, means you better accept that it's our fault, not the guys in the suicide vests, (which by the way, come in a classic two-piece ensemble that's both age-appropriate and elegant.)

But the fact is, because so many movies these days say it's the U.S. that's responsible for everything bad in the world, it's clear that terrorists would never strike in Hollywood. I mean, why target your allies — especially when you're losing?

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com