Arelia Taveras is a rich lawyer who blew it all on blackjack.
It started out as fun, but now she'd go days at a time without leaving a table, using baby wipes to brush her teeth. I wonder how she handled other sensitive hygiene issues, but that would just arouse Bill Schulz.
But, of course, being a lawyer, she has now sued the casinos for $20 million — claiming they should have noticed her compulsion, which she compares to crack.
But do you know what's really like a drug? The need to pin your weaknesses on something else.
Her lawsuit names Trump and the Tropicana Casino, but replace that with Marlboro and Camel Lights and you see where this idiocy comes from.
So what's next? I should sue McDonalds, for I crave both fat and older men in clown makeup.
And what of Craigslist — after all, they turn a blind eye to all those Haitian houseboys even when they went missing.
I kid, of course.
I will never sue, not even the Unicorn Doll Company, where I've spent my entire salary on horny figurines.
I know that the fault lies in me, not them. And you know, if the casinos banned this lady, she would have sued them for being sexist or racist — who knows. Either way, I bet this suit dies and knowing her, she'll probably take me up on it.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.