What Makes Smart People Act So Stupid?

Sometimes when I'm alone in my room, nude, I'll sit and ask myself: What makes smart people act so stupid?

Then I realize why: They're stupid. But by emoting serious sentiments following times of tragedy, they have managed to fool people into thinking they're smart.

I call it Sean Penn-itis.

Penn is currently filming a movie, playing Harvey Milk, the gay supervisor murdered years ago by Dan White. After making a speech to commemorate Milk, Penn went off his trolley. He says, quote, "I almost wish Jerry Falwell were alive to see this. Almost," Penn shouted. "Bill O'Reilly, who is too stupid to talk about," and "Sean Hannity, the butt boy of Rupert Murdoch. We know their end is near."

These simple sentences are a rich reminder that actors, without lines, are empty vessels — laptops without software: Shiny at first, but useless. Only Penn could play a gay character one minute and then follow it with a homophobic slur about someone else. "Butt boy" really means "brownnoser" — someone who inserts his face into someone's buttocks to gain favor. It costs $45 in the West Village.

But how weird is it that at a reenactment of a 1970s gay event, Penn uses a form of recreation that most attending would enjoy as an insult!

Maybe we can forgive Penn. A fixation on brownnosing must come naturally to a man who's got his head up his own ass.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com