The MTV Kissing Controversy

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This one’s about a kiss... actually two kisses.

These are not just ordinary kisses, but kisses between girls. The chaste virgin Britney Spears (search)... oh right, she's backed off that story! Or the tarty Christina Aguilera (search), both kissing Madonna. Madonna's made a career out of public displays of private moments.

Some wags were suggesting this was nothing but a publicity stunt to hype the sagging careers of three has-beens. Poor Britney... already a has-been at 23? Poor Madonna... hitting your forties is tough, huh?

So I was working on the theory that this was all about MTV and its VMA awards. That they have to come up with something outlandish for all of us to talk about the next day.

Remember Howard Stern with his flabby butt hanging out? Remember Diana Ross grabbing Lil’ Kim's breast?

And now this: girls kissing girls...

So what's next, I wondered… full on sex? What the pornographers call the… well, you know what they're talking about.

Well, the callers on Bill O'Reilly's radio show today were telling me that the kisses were all about guys.

That guys like watching girls kissing girls... and it's not lesbianism, but simply straight girls trying to be intriguing to straight guys.

This had me scratching my head.

But I've been assured over and over today that it's true. Guys like to see kisses like this! If so, girls need to stop worrying so much about what guys want. They get a lot of what they want anyway.

I don't want to sound old, but straight girls should be kissing straight boys.

That's my word. Happy Labor Day. And if you've got a girl, kiss her.

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