Recently, standing before a crowded church, Barack Obama revealed the cause of violence in our country. He said, "There's a reason they go out and shoot each other, because they don't love themselves. And the reason they don't love themselves is because we are not loving them enough."
He's probably right. But it's just so hard to hug someone when they've got a gun in your face.
• Greg needs a hug! Watch his Greg-alogue
It's odd that Obama still thinks low self esteem causes crime. The fact is, research shows that criminals have higher self-esteem than anyone on the planet… and that includes Star Jones.
The only thing worse than a real thug is a pseudo-intellectual one who refuses to understand evil. It's the disease of modern society — the conviction that moral relativism means no one should ever be convicted.
I guess by extension that means all sociopaths can be cured by "love." Maybe we should find Usama and give him a hug? Then we can end this whole War on Terror thing. Maybe we can buy Ahmadinejad a warm puppy and then he'll reconsider obliterating Israel.
If only Hitler had gotten that fire engine for Christmas.
I wonder if Obama's compassion extends to all criminals. How about a neo-Nazi? A Klansman? Senator, why not send David Duke a candy-gram?
Obama might be the first politician in history who's offering a platform based on sayings stolen from a coffee mug.
Worse, it's probably filled with herbal tea.
And that's my gut feeling.