By Greg Gutfeld, ,
Published May 18, 2015
So, if there was ever one totally awesome reason to vote for John McCain, here it is: Aging actress Susan Sarandon says if he gets elected, she'll move to Italy or Canada.
She adds: "It's a critical time, but I have faith in the American people."
Thanks for vote of confidence, Susan. Knowing that you believe we have the potential to be as smart as you, makes me realize how it was your breasts — not your brains — that carried your career.
See, as much as I think Barack Obama is a really neat guy, I think we must choose McCain, if only to send Sarandon packing.
Even better, it's a two-for-one as long as she takes her son Tim Robbins with her. They can open a tie-dye shirt shop near the beach and sell Hacky Sacks with George Bush's face on them! That kind of humor never gets old!
Here's the thing: Celebrities typically say crap like this because they think we care. It's cute! Alec Baldwin said he'd leave if Bush got elected, but he just turned into a fat toad.
But here's what I really love: When threatening to leave America, they never choose countries unlike America. I mean, Italy is essentially Hawaii with more red wine and Canada is Alaska with better weather. Saying you're moving there if McCain wins is like threatening to move to Epcot Center. It may look different, but it's still America.
If Sarandon had any real guts, she'd move to a place the American way of life hasn't quite made a dent. For example, they just burned a woman to death in India for being a witch. Susan could start there.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.