Some might argue the life of a mortgage broker is a living hell. For Mike Grace, of Birmingham, Mich., it's not too far from the truth.

By day, he studies to be a loan officer. By night, he is High Magus Noxaura, the founder of the Reformed Church of Satan.

But this is a kinder, gentler Satanist, the Metro Times of Detroit reports. The church doesn't worship Beelzebub, it believes in taking responsibility for your own actions and being your own god.

"I don't care how much fun killing people is," Grace joked to the paper, "that sort of thing is just not acceptable."

He's even got a Web site, positivesatanism.org.

Sadly, Grace fell from grace himself a few days after speaking with the weekly newspaper. He was fired from his promising brokerage position.

"You cannot be a religious leader without your faith being tested," he told the paper.

Wanted! The Man Who Licks Toes in the Night

Police are in a bit of a toe jam.

A Stuart, Fla., woman was startled from her sleep Sunday morning by the warm sensation of an intruder licking her big left toe.

The woman screamed and woke up her husband, who chased the man from their bed, Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers reported.

Police say the suspect was last seen running down Dixie Lane with an irate husband in tow.

Stuart officials have dubbed this big-toe Romeo the "Foot Fetish Fiend." Anyone with information is asked to contact the Treasure Coast Crime Stoppers at (800) 273-TIPS.

'Cause Signing Your Letter 'Middle-Aged Chubby White Guy' Would Be Creepy

CARLTON, Ore. (AP) — An answer to a message in a plastic bottle that a teenage girl hoped would make it across the Pacific Ocean has turned out to be a hoax, according to a Hawaiian TV station.

"I feel just really silly right now," a man identified only as "Tom M." told Linda Coble, a reporter with Honolulu's KHON-TV.

The man told KHON that he recently found the bottle while clearing brush along Panther Creek near the Oregon town of Carlton before his wedding to a Carlton woman.

The bottle had been sealed with duct tape and dropped into Panther Creek in February 2003 by Emily Streight, then 12, who noted that, "In six months I'll be 13."

She also added: "If this is a guy who finds this, send a picture."

Streight, now 16 and a junior at Yamhill-Carlton High School, received a letter about a week ago from someone identifying himself only as "Keoni."

The writer claimed to be a 16-year-old Honolulu boy who had found her bottle on the beach while picking up trash following a luau. As proof, he returned Streight's original note.

He went on to tell her his ancestry was a mix of Hawaiian, Japanese, Portuguese and Chinese, that he liked to surf, kayak and skateboard, and that he played wide receiver on the football team. He wrapped up, "I hope you're happy to get your letter back. It seems like it has been traveling for a long time. Aloha, Keoni."

But KHON learned that "Tom," a 34-year-old man, concocted the story after he took the bottle and the note back home to Hawaii from Oregon.

Tom told KHON, "If I would have said I'm a married, 34-year-old, chubby white guy, it would have sounded creepy. I know people from the mainland, and what they think of Hawaii is a lot of Polynesian people running around on the beach, so I tried to make it sound like that."

Tom and his wife, a nurse, live in a high-rise apartment building. He put his correct return address on the envelope, and that set off a search by Honolulu media outlets.

Eventually, he came forward to tell his story.

"I was laughing, but I was crying because I was really embarrassed," he told KHON. "Like, I couldn't believe this is something that got on the news.

Streight said Coble, the KHON reporter, called her and told her the whole story.

"When she told me what really happened, it kind of made more sense," Streight said.

"I didn't know any different at the time, but the whole thing seemed a little far-fetched," the teenager said. "It almost seemed impossible. A plastic bottle, traveling for almost four years, across the Pacific Ocean."

In Montana, It Pays Handsomely to Be Average

BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) — The estate of a medical educator and his wife has donated $300,000 to set up a college scholarship for an "average" student in Billings.

The fund set up by Dr. Gerhard "Gerry" Hartman and his wife, Fran, will be managed by the Downtown Billings Rotary Club.

"I thought that was kind of neat that he didn't pick the valedictorian or the students who get all the other scholarships," said Jim Hanna, past Rotary president. "Maybe this student works at Albertsons on the weekend, but he gets good grades and his folks could use some help."

A symbolic check for $333,000 — which includes returns on investing the money over the summer — was presented by Wells Fargo Private Client Services Vice President Paulette Baston to the Rotary club on Monday to fund the scholarship.

The Billings Rotary Foundation Board will meet soon to work out details for applicants for the Hartman Scholarship Fund.

Dr. Hartman, who died in 1999 at age 87, was a Rotarian for 52 yards. He was the chief executive of University Hospitals in Iowa for 25 years, during which he helped teach an estimated 500 students pursuing master's and doctoral degrees in medicine.

The Hartmans moved to Billings in 1974, where he worked as a senior consultant for Deaconess Billings Clinic.

The scholarship fund will grow through investment income and from expected future contributions.

Ohio Museum Dares to Honor Ranch Dressing

AKRON, Ohio (AP) — The National Inventors Hall of Fame in Akron has inducted more than 300 men and women and honor their inventiveness. But it also has a separate display about interesting things and how they came about, such as marbles and fishing lures.

This month, Hidden Valley dressing will receive recognition. It is owned by the Clorox Company. The donated recipe dates back to the 1950s at the Hidden Valley Guest Ranch in California and resulted from mixing dry seasoning with buttermilk and mayonnaise. It will be placed in the museum's archives with the 1955 recipe for Campbell's green bean casserole.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Sara Bonisteel.

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