Paris Hilton Is a Genius

You know, a lot of people have piled on Paris Hilton.

They say she's all looks, no brains, and now, just desserts, in prison.

Well, they got two out of three right.

But on the "no brains" thing, I totally disagree.

Take a look at her police mug shot.

That's right, that is her mug shot.

Mug shots are generally taken under the most stressful situations — think, Nick Nolte.

I don't know, Nick looked a little stressed in his. He's moved on. Unfortunately that mug shot has not.

That's the thing about mug shots: they're forever.

Tom DeLay knew his mug shot would be seen and relished by his enemies around the world. So what did old Tom serve 'em up? Not a Nick Nolte, depressed-as-hell mug shot, but a smiling mug shot, more like a senior yearbook mug shot.

What fun is there in putting "that" on a front page?

I guess as much fun as putting a Vogue-like shot of Paris on a front page? Just not as much fun.

So word to the wise should this ever happen to you, God forbid: Never let them see you sweat. Sure, your life may be out of sorts, but that doesn't mean your hair should be.

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