So I made the mistake of reading a copy of Fast Company, which had a stroke piece in it entitled "The Brand Called Obama."
The writer says that Obama is more than just a politician, he's a brand — one that stokes aspirations, moves people to evangelize and consume, just like other big brands. Immediately, I thought of Renuzit or Depends — two brands I happen to use on my days off.
Anyway, I thought branding people went out with slavery. And the fact that Fast Company sees fit to brand Obama, seems kinda dumb.
If there's a poison in our discourse today, it's marketers tossing around the word "branding" like a cheap houseboy. The word "brand" is so overused, it's essentially meaningless. Paris Hilton apparently considers herself a brand — kind of like Valtrex in reverse.
But Barack is just a man, not a brand. Do you know what a brand is? It's a product — McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Gutfeld's Homemade Shorty Robes — which you can get for $14 at Gutfeldhomemadeshortyrobes.com.
Fact is, if you aspire to be a brand like Black and Decker, you're probably a tool. So you're almost there. But just because you want to be a commodity doesn't mean we're going to consume. Believe me, after months of leaving my ad up on craigslist, I realized not everyone buys in to the Gutbrand. I never should have posted photos of my birthmark.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.