Now that Joey Lawrence is but a distant memory, it was easy for me to focus on Mario Lopez's smooth moves during the "Dancing with the Stars" finale.
But while I’ve been mostly buying his “Gee whiz, we’re just happy to have made it this far” modesty — always combined with those perfectly adorable indentations into his cheeks — I had a little trouble with that during this episode, which showed snippets of various interviews.
So we not only got to see Mario confessing after the first dance that he thought he might be the earliest one to go — i.e., before Jerry Springer, not to mention Tucker Carlson — but also, later in the episode, listen to him passionately claim that he never thought he’d make it to the finals.
Emmitt Smith and Mario Lopez Battle to Win 'Dancing With the Stars'
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Um, Mario, you’ve been the frontrunner this entire competition. Are we really supposed to believe that you’re the only one who didn’t know that?
Sure, the race is tight — the two teams are tied at 59 out of 60 — but man, if you’re any more modest, I’m going to accuse you of mocking us.
Over on “The Amazing Race,” meanwhile, I’ve had a surprisingly easy time rooting for the Beauty Queens — despite the fact that it seems almost contrary to everything I believe in to root for Beauty Queens, let alone Beauty Queens who go on a reality show advertising themselves as Beauty Queens.
Every time I’ve expected them to whip out a mirror or mascara wand, however, they’ve shown me just how judgmental I can be by revealing themselves to be tougher, cleverer and more resilient than any of the other teams put together.
But I must tell you that every time they refer to Lyn and Karlyn as “the sistas” — which they did more than once in this week’s episode — I lose a little bit of respect for them.
It’s not that I think they should be calling the ladies from Alabama the “Single Moms” necessarily — I just don’t think it’s that cool, especially when you happen to be as white as white can be, to call two black women “sistas.”
I also lost a bit of love for the Model-Addicts, at least for Tyler, for crowing about how he uses moisturizer because of how much he likes his face, not to mention needing to immediately change after being soaked in mud while everyone else seemed fine moving on in their mud-drenched clothes.
I know metrosexuality has changed the rules a bit, but a vain man is almost as unappealing as one who passive aggressively threatens to quit the race as soon as times get tough (thought I’d leave Peter alone since he was eliminated? Think again).
Then there’s my Sadie on “The Bachelor,” who I get to call mine because I’ve labeled her as the winner from the beginning and because it makes what I witnessed her do this week seem that much more disappointingly dramatic.
Don’t get me wrong — she was as adorable, energetic, sweet and lovely as always, but all her stress about whether or not she should accept Lorenzo’s invitation to the Fantasy Suite seemed to entirely have to do with what she believed Lorenzo would think of her decision and not what she, in fact, wanted.
Lots of comments about how she wanted Lorenzo to see that she was classy and conservative and that she wouldn’t accept the keys to a Fantasy Suite from just anybody.
Call me crass — or ignorant about virginity —but if you’re saving yourself for marriage, aren’t you doing it for you, and not for what the guys who aren’t getting any are going to think?
Meanwhile, while she looked beautiful at the rose ceremony — where, thank God, Lorenzo had the good sense to get rid of Lisa — does it seem a little weird to anyone else that it’s the virgin who’s showing off all that cleavage?
Anna David has been on staff at Premiere and Parenting magazines and wrote a sex and relationship column for Razor. She’s done celebrity cover stories, first-person essays and reported pieces for The L.A. Times, Vanity Fair, Cosmo, People, Us Weekly, Redbook, Self, Details, Stuff, TV Guide, Women’s Health, Ocean Drive, Vegas, The Saturday Telegraph, Esquire UK, Teen Vogue, Variety, The New York Post, LA Confidential, Distinction, Calabasas, Tatler (Hong Kong), King, Fade In, Emmy and Maxim, among others.
Emmitt Smith and Mario Lopez Battle to Win 'Dancing With the Stars'
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