Love-Starved Dance With Themselves in Air Sex Competition

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It's like air guitar, only dirtier.

Love-starved Japanese men are gathering in Tokyo's theater district to mime their best bedroom moves in a performance they're calling "Air Sex," the Mainichi Daily News reported recently.

"Air sex was originally invented by guys who couldn't get girlfriends but desperately want to have sex," said the creator of the genre, J-Taro Sugisaku.

The men compete in much the same manner as air guitar, crowning the champions who best mimic those actions that usually appear under cover of darkness.

And it's dangerous, said last year's champ, a guy named Cobra.

"You can't care about what women watching your performance are thinking about you," he said. "When you get down to air sex, you've got to immerse yourself in the air sex world.

"Air sex can't be performed in half-measures," he continued. "If it is, you're only asking for trouble."

Just Like Manna From Heaven

When it rains, it pours ... in Montana.

Last week, the state had to cancel the monthly meeting of its Drought Advisory Committee due to rain and snow, the Great Falls Tribune reports.

"Due to the wonderful inclement weather and the accumulating moisture levels in Montana today and the wet forecast for tomorrow, we are canceling the Drought Advisory meeting of 19 April," wrote Jackie Williams, executive assistant in the office of Lt. Gov. John Bohlinger, in an e-mail.

The next meeting of the Drought Advisory Committee will be held in May, barring any torrential downpours.

Thanks to Out There reader Bill from Bismarck, N.D.

Drunk, Horse Sleep It Off in German Bank

BERLIN (AP) — An early morning German bank customer had a bit of a shock when he found a horse already in line at the automatic teller machine in front of him.

It seems the horse's owner, identified only as Wolfgang H., had a bit too much to drink the night before and decided to sleep it off inside the bank's heated foyer, police said Tuesday.

The 40-year-old machinist told Bild newspaper he had had "a few beers" with a friend in Wiesenburg, southwest of Berlin, and decided to hit the hay in the bank on his way home.

"It was late; it was already dark and cold," he was quoted as saying.

Confronted with the lack of a hitching-post, he brought the 6-year-old horse, named Sammy, in along with him.

When a customer came across the horse and sleeping rider in the bank at 4:15 a.m. Monday, he called police, who then came and woke the owner up and sent him on his way.

No charges were filed, but there might be some cleanup needed: Apparently Sammy made his own after-hours deposit on the carpet.

Indiana, Home of Popcorn, Basketball and Caviar?

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — An illegal caviar ring has been broken up with the arrest of a dozen people accused of dealing in the ill-gotten fish eggs, conservation officials said.

Indiana conservation officers spent more than a year infiltrating the fishing ring, Sgt. Dean Shadley said after Monday's arrests.

"It's just like a drug dealer, you've got to hang out where they hang out and talk the talk and walk the walk," he said.

Members of the ring caught paddlefish — distant cousins of caviar-producing sturgeon — in Ohio River tributaries and sold their eggs as caviar, according to the Indiana Department of Natural Resources. One paddlefish can yield as much as $800 worth of eggs, and annual income for those who catch them can range from $100,000 to $400,000.

"It's easy money; it's just like picking cherries," Shadley said. "And I'm sure that was tax free. I can't imagine they reported it."

Commercial fishermen can catch paddlefish in the Ohio River, but tributaries are off limits because that is where the fish spawn.

Paddlefish are edible, but their real value lies in the eggs. A shortage of sturgeon eggs from Asia's Caspian Sea has created a lucrative market for paddlefish eggs, which have a similar taste, look and consistency, according to state officials.

Each person arrested faces a felony charge of illegal sale of a wild animal. Other charges include money laundering and commercial fishing in closed water.

Guess They're Watching 'CSI' in Detroit

EASTPOINTE, Mich. (AP) — Norman O. Wheeler probably wishes he would have finished his cinnamon bun.

Police say they used DNA evidence from a partly eaten pastry to arrest Wheeler in a 2004 car theft.

The 40-year-old Detroit resident already was serving time for another auto theft when authorities made the DNA match in the Dec. 11, 2004, theft. He pleaded guilty April 2 and faces sentencing May 22.

Eastpointe Officer Ed Lulko answered a car-theft call at a drug store parking lot, and a witness told him she saw a man arrive in one car, break out the windows of a second car and drive off, according to police in the Detroit suburb.

"Officer Lulko found the partially eaten pastry in the car and sent it to the Michigan State Police crime laboratory with hopes that the DNA left on the roll could lead to the identity of the perpetrator," Detective Eric Keiser told The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens.

As a convict, Wheeler had a DNA sample on file in a state database, enabling the match.

Next Time, Try Sears

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) — Police arrested a man who picked up a dead alligator and tried to butcher it on his front lawn, saying he only wanted a new belt.

Benjamin Hodges, 35, said he found the dead gator floating in the Hillsborough River on Sunday and took it home in a shopping cart. He figures it was 4 feet or 5 feet long.

Just as Hodges flopped the carcass on the ground and started to cut it open, officers showed up and arrested him. An anonymous caller had reported him to the state wildlife agency.

He is charged with killing or possessing an alligator, a felony punishable by up to 60 days in jail and a $500 fine. Although their numbers are growing, American alligators are still protected in Florida as a species of special concern.

Hodges said he knew of a man at a flea market who might be able to craft a belt for him.

"I didn't think there was anything illegal about skinning a dead gator," he told The Tampa Tribune.

He was freed on $2,000 bail.

Compiled by's Sara Bonisteel.

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