Tonight's "Fearlessness in Journalism" award goes to CNN.
See, while every single reporter and his mother spent the weekend covering the pope's visit to New York City, CNN knew there was a bigger, darker story to be told — a story few want to bring up because of its seamy undercurrents.
I am talking, of course, about public park sex. A topic most people shy away from, CNN took the bull by the horns.
CNN sent their British correspondent Richard Quest to Central Park in the wee hours, armed only with a packet of crystal meth and a sex toy packed into his boot. Knowing that he needed to make himself available and alluring in order to get the story, he also tied a rope around his neck and looped it around his genitals.
Unfortunately the police arrested Quest, just before he was about to unleash a story worthy of a Pulitzer. He was charged with loitering and criminal possession of a controlled substance.
Although Quest has been released, we at "Red Eye" feel his arrest is unjust. Here was a man going the extra mile for a story, in hopes of shedding light on an issue others are too frightened to get near. Quest is the Woodward and Bernstein of park sex and we need to stand up for him.
For those of you willing to help out with our cause, we'll be meeting at Bryant Park at 3 a.m. I will be wearing magenta overalls with a hole in the back.