Harrison Ford, Brad Garrett, Simon Cowell, Roseanne

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Harrison Ford, Brad Garrett, Simon Cowell and "The Real Roseanne Show" in today's Foxlight.

Are you ready for this? Harrison Ford (search) wants to be the new Jerry Lewis. Sort of. He's counting on the French to like his stinker "Hollywood Homicide." Ford will hype the alleged comedy at the snooty Deauville Film Festival next month. "Hollywood Homicide" had a terrible opening weekend in June and it faded quickly.

Next, he's one of the hosts of the Emmys, but Brad Garrett (search)'s booming bass is still missing from the set of "Everybody Loves Raymond." His little brother on the show -- Ray Romano -- makes millions for every episode -- the richest deal in TV. Meanwhile Garrett has to "settle" for $160,000 a show. I know it sounds like a lot but he's a big eater.

Everyone else seems to have their own talk show. So, why not Simon Cowell (search)? Cowell tells the New York Daily News he's considering proposals. Cowell says he's "old enough and wise enough to realize it could work, provided that the format works." Otherwise, he says you can "fall flat on your ass." He has a pretty soft cushion -- one paper reports Simon is worth around $45 million. I have got to get snarkier.

Finally, speaking of shows, "The Real Roseanne Show" (search) is really over. What a difference a decade makes. This time ABC pulled the plug after two episodes. She made them a lot of money once upon a time. But in Hollywood, that's reality.