GRRR! Fill Every Minute of Air Time

Grrr-ball | Taser Nation | Video: Taser Nation

Are You Ready for Some Commercials?

Watching football these days is an exercise in Grrrdom.

Not that I have anything against the action on the gridiron. It's not the games that Grrr me. It's the incessant commercials and sponsored segments.

For instance, "The Sponsor Halftime Report, brought to you by Sponsor."

I understand that the astronomical cost for the rights to broadcast NFL games needs to be covered somehow, but how many times is the sponsor contracted to be mentioned by name? Five? Ten? Fifteen times every half hour?

Isn't it enough that every monitor serving as the backdrop to the set is plastered with the sponsor's logo?

And heaven forbid every timeout and two-minute warning isn't filled with quick commercials.

I typically record the game in my market that interests me most, so I can spend time with the family on Sunday. This week we went apple picking while the Jets played the Dolphins, a game I was very interested in.

In the last two minutes of the first half, there were about five timeouts, all filled with commercials.

Was there no analysis CBS's Dan Dierdof could have provided instead?

Have you ever watched a full game on your DVR?

What usually takes about three hours to watch can usually be done in half that time. Between commercials and timeouts, huddles, the time it takes to reset — even on hurry-up offenses — official reviews, penalties and all the other time-consuming aspects of the game, all can be shortened with the magic of a DVR.

And then there's "Football Night in America" on NBC, which featuring the Bears vs. the Cowboys.

First, I'd like to thank John Madden and Al Michaels for helping me fall asleep. Are those two the dullest booth team on the planet, or what? I'd much rather see Frank Caliendo on FOX do Madden than Madden do Madden.

But the Faith Hill tune that suggests that we've all been waiting with bated breath for Sunday night makes me want to see what's on another channel.

Surely "Saving Private Ryan" or "Patriot Games" is on somewhere, and if I'm stuck watching a night game in live action (woe is me), I'll surf between channels before enduring another stupid commercial from the "Mad Men" of 2007, who seem a lot less creative (albeit more politically correct) than the ones on the TV show.

But all in all, Sundays and Mondays are still so much better during the NFL season, aren't they?

I know the baseball season is heating up as we get closer to post-season play, but it can hardly hold my interest once the NFL kicks into regular season play.

What do you think makes football such a great spectator sport anyway? E-mail me.

Taser Nation

Boy, have we become a country of wimps.

Everybody's up in arms about the video that shows Andrew Mayer, a 21-year-old student, getting Tasered while resisting arrest during a John Kerry appearance at the University of Florida.

Video: Straka on Taser Nation

First of all, the kid deserved it. That was pretty clear from all the video that I've seen and from eyewitness accounts that say Meyer rushed toward the stage after waiting in line.

Here's a hint, folks: Anytime you decide to take on four police officers, you're apt to be Tasered, or worse.

Other videos from across the country, particularly the Ohio woman who was Tasered, show questionable uses of the weapon. However, each case of Tasering — and there are thousands every week depending on whose statistics you believe — should be reviewed on an individual basis.

Every case is different, and to suggest that some cops who use Tasers aren't abusing their power would be naive. But remember this: there are way more good cops than bad cops on the job.

Consider the alternatives to the Taser.

Obviously, being shot is worse. Being smacked on the head with a baton is worse. Being sprayed in the face with Mace or pepper spray is worse. Being beaten down and forcefully handcuffed by several police officers is worse.

I took a Taser hit at this year's Consumer Electronics Show. And while it wasn't fun, it wasn't lethal, and besides a few jittery hours of clammy palms and adrenaline, there were no after-effects — other than the knowledge that if I'm ever confronted by a cop threatening me with a Taser, I'm going to cooperate. Fully.

I also think every woman should carry a Taser with her at all times for self-defense purposes. Think of how many fewer violent crimes against women there would be if they could Taser their assailants.

Let's stop being so wimpy. Please.

Click Here for Your Grrrs

Video: Mike Covers Mixed Martial Arts

Respond to Mike | GET the GRRR! Book | The GRRR! Block Page