Greg Gutfeld: Laid Low on the High Ground

When I'm not helping homeless teens in and out of the back of my van, where I administer both counseling and therapeutic massage, I'm reading. And today I read Linda Chavez's recent column, where she claims the hoopla over Larry Craig's bathroom boondoggle would have been far less if he had been a Democrat.

She's right. But so what?

The reason why liberals escape getting nailed for immoral behavior is because they are only moralistic, or judgmental, when it comes to the environment. That's why it's so easy to play "gotcha" with John Edwards, Laurie David and Arianna Huffington. They condemn SUVs, but then disappear on private jets, heading to their 9,000 square foot, oil-heated abodes. That's their "Larry Craig Moment."

Republicans take the sexual moral high ground, which makes it easier to nail them when they're trying to get nailed in a public bathroom. The left has it easy — because they are easy. Look at Larry Flynt. He screwed a chicken once, making it easy for him to become moralistic when a Republican is caught whoring.

So Craig is a hypocrite. But that's what happens when you tow a moral line and then do something immoral and stupid. Being gay isn't the immoral part — it's doing something base and craven, an act that betrays the covenant you have with your wife.

Plus, it's unsanitary. Having sex in a bathroom stall does nothing good to your shoes.

Which means that what Craig did really didn't make him gay, it made him a guy. Because guys don't need fancy surroundings to put them in the mood.

And that's my gut feeling.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: