Dying to See That Show

One can only assume that she was just dying to see that band.

Cleanup crewmembers in the United Kingdom were sifting through the generic garbage and random lost-and-found party casualties left behind after the Eastern Haze music festival when they came across an urn.

It contained what they believe to be human remains forgotten — intentionally or not — by a mourning music lover.

The ashes were accompanied only by a certificate of cremation written in Spanish with the name ‘Eileen Harris’ printed on it — the festival organizers’ only clue about whom the remains belong to, Norfolk's EDP 24 reports.

And with more than 5,000 partygoers from across the UK and Europe in the pool of potential next-of-kin, the task of finding the right relative is daunting at best.

“It is by far the strangest thing I have ever found after a festival. You normally have lost property, mobile phones, wallets, coats, but I can safely say this is the first time I have found someone's mortal remains,” said Seb Fosdal, director of Hazy Promotions, the company that coordinated the event.

Fosdal said the festival organizers would be looking after the ashes for the time being, but they will soon be handed over to authorities with the rest of the lost-and-found items gathered at the festival grounds.

“I don't know whether someone bought them to the festival to scatter them," he said. "The person has obviously been cremated in Spain and has somehow ended up at our festival … It was just sitting there in the field, it really is most bizarre."

Because You're Never Too Old To Be Totally Insane

DeLAND, Fla. (AP) — If former President George Bush could do it, so could Volusia County historian Bill Dreggors.

At least that's what he figured while celebrating his 80th birthday yesterday by skydiving — along with two Volusia County Council members. Dreggors had jumped once before, on his 70th birthday.

The three each chose to tandem-jump, meaning they were strapped to professional skydivers.

Insert Bad 'Robbing Blind' Joke Here

ASHLAND, Ore. (AP) — A woman is accused of stealing at least $14,000 from a blind attorney who hired her as assistant last year. Marissa Renee Wren, 24, of Medford was charged with theft and forgery and was scheduled to be arraigned this week.

Attorney Bruce Harrell hired Wren to work at his private legal practice in Ashland. Wren soon began presenting her boss with checks to sign that were made out to herself, said David Orr, deputy district attorney for Jackson County.

"She was leading him to believe the checks were for legitimate uses such as the electric bill," Orr said Tuesday. "And because Mr. Harrell is blind, he didn't know the difference."

Wren cashed several checks made out for $1,000 and one for $2,200. She also used Harrell's credit card for at least $5,000 in cash advances, Orr said.

Harrell said he discovered the thefts after a credit card company called last October seeking payment. He said Wren later sent him an e-mail in which she admitted draining his bank account.

Harrell said he has made good with all of his creditors and clients and plans to run for Ashland City Council in November.

Insert Equally Bad 'Sticky Fingers' Joke Here

BRATTLEBORO, Vt. (AP) — A man convicted of stealing maple syrup has been sentenced to between five and 10 years in prison.

Stephen R. Bain, 53, was formally accused of possessing stolen syrup and possession of marijuana. He got a two- to five-year sentence for the drug conviction.

District Court Judge Katherine Hayes, who said Bain had lived a "lifestyle of theft and dishonesty," could have sentenced him to as much as life under the state's habitual offender law.

Bain was charged with taking syrup from Dwight Miller's store in Dummerston after police learned that 900 pounds, or 75 gallons, of syrup had been sold by Bain to a farm in New Hampshire for $1,300.

Bain told Hayes he was guilty of earlier crimes for which he was convicted, including drug offenses, larceny and possession of stolen property. But he accused the Windham County Sheriff's Department of planting the marijuana in his home that led to the current charges.

The judge rejected the argument. She said there was "overwhelming and extremely strong" evidence that led to his conviction, not all of it provided by sheriff's deputies.

And Now This From the Comically Dumb Idea Department ...

KINGSBURG, Calif. (AP) — KFYE-FM hasn't budged from the Fresno-area dial, but it's about as far as you can get from the Christian music, sermons and Bible stories it was broadcasting until about a week ago.

Now it calls itself "Porn Radio" — "all sex radio, all the time," with a suggestion that people under 21 not listen.

Songs with little in common except suggestive titles and lyrics fill the playlist, including "Why Don't We Do It in the Road" by The Beatles, "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye and "Nasty" by Janet Jackson. Tamer songs are heated up by adding recorded moans and groans.

The change, made after the station was sold this month, was met with several non-sexual groans from some residents.

"It would appear this is another of those promotions that are simply designed to create controversy," longtime Fresno radio personality Ed Beckman told The Fresno Bee. "This format belongs on Sirius or XM, not on over-the-air."

The station tries not to cross the line, said owner Jerry Clifton.

KFYE has been playing songs in a continuous one-hour loop without commercials. Clifton wouldn't tell the Bee whether he plans to eventually switch to a more traditional format.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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