Don't Arrest 'Sex Teachers,' Reward Them!

WorldNetDaily just published a huge list of female teachers who've been busted for having sex with male students. The list is actually pretty amazing and, might I add, titillating. Many of these instructors are hotter than your average auto-mile stripper, but without the added risk of hepatitis C.

Reward yourself! Watch Greg's Greg-alogue

Call me a creep (it wouldn't be the first time I've heard it), but I don't really understand the outrage that erupts after a female teacher is caught sleeping with an under-aged male pupil. Isn't this the fantasy of every boy growing up — to have sex with an older woman, especially an attractive teacher who owns a compact car? She probably has a yoga mat and for the first time it comes in handy.

Instead of being arrested, shouldn't these instructors be awarded a medal — or at least a certificate they can hang on their wall — for performing such noble deeds? I think so. I mean, having sex with a female teacher is far better than being chased around a church by a middle-aged priest with his pants halfway down… and I can vouch for that.

When I was in school, I never had young teachers. Instead, mine were usually in their sixties and smelled of stale, ribbon candy. They wore compression hose.

But that never stopped me. The only thing that did was knowing that one day, the relationship would end in tears... usually, over the false teeth — I hated having to return them.

And that's my gut feeling.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: