Dennis Miller Sounds Off on Eliot Spitzer's Sex Scandal
This is a rush transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," March 12, 2008. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
Watch "The O'Reilly Factor" weeknights at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. ET and listen to the "Radio Factor!"
BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: our very active analyst, who was here in New York City last night. Both he and I did an event for WOR Radio, which carries both of our programs. And right before that, "Miller Time" happened.
O'REILLY: So Dennis Miller, the ultimate West Coast guy, in New York City, man. How you doing?
DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Nice to be here, Billy. I got in last night. I went and had Chinese. I ordered a No. 9. They brought me the governor with a side of hoisin sauce.
O'REILLY: Now, you guys are brutal. You're all — Leno, Letterman, Stewart, O'Brien...
MILLER: He was brutal. He should have left his wife at home. One of these guys has got to say to their wife, "I know you stand by me," if they do, in fact…
O'REILLY: Yes, but leave them home.
MILLER: "You should stay home tonight."
O'REILLY: A hundred percent agree with you.
MILLER: I don't know what the heck they...
O'REILLY: A hundred percent.
MILLER: I don't know how they convince these women. My wife has threatened to leave me because I snore for God's sake.
O'REILLY: Yes, but — when the windows fall off, come on.
MILLER: He should have said to her, "Honey, I love you. You should not have to stand next to me..."
O'REILLY: I agree with you.
MILLER: "...looking disheveled."
O'REILLY: I agree with you 100 percent. That is cruel and unusual punishment.
MILLER: I don't get it. And McGreevey's wife, too.
O'REILLY: I know, I know.
Now, you don't, as a satirist — and I don't, I said this — I don't hold Leno, Letterman and these guys, Stewart, accountable for mocking Spitzer, but there comes a point where it gets cruel. Do you know where the line is, or does anything go?
MILLER: Well, listen, Bill. I must say that I don't know why they show the three — I don't even want to mention it — he has children. I've seen footage of him today arriving places with his children. Not today, but stock footage.
O'REILLY: File film.
MILLER: That should be out.
MILLER: They need to quit that.
MILLER: The wife, like I said, I wish he had said to her, "Honey, I know you stand by me. You should stay home." Him? Listen, man, this is a big gaffe. You cannot take people across state lines...
O'REILLY: I got it. It's a big beef, and the comedians are all over him. But, you know, what's the statute of limitations on that thing? Forever?
MILLER: It's obviously still ripe. You know what I mean? If he's going to take two days to resign from this — he should have resigned the first moment.
O'REILLY: He's trying to make a deal though. Don't want to go to jail.
MILLER: Yes, well, listen. I see a couple ways out of this for him. Can I tell you my theory? There's three things he can do. First off, he can say that he wanted to bring her down on Amtrak and, quite frankly, didn't think she would ever arrive.
O'REILLY: So you want to get into the politicization of the railcar?
MILLER: No. Play the Amtrak card.
Second, he should say he thought she was a superdelegate and he was courting her.
And thirdly, if he really wants to get back in the good graces of the Democratic Party, he's a rich guy — he should offer to pay for the Florida recount.
O'REILLY: OK. That might do it.
MILLER: Say, "I will, out of my own pocket."
O'REILLY: "I'll finance Michigan and Florida..."
MILLER: There you go.
O'REILLY: "...if you stop making fun of me."
All right. Big beef. Guy's done. He should be done. You don't have sympathy for him, right?
MILLER: Well, listen, I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. But the preconception of bringing somebody that smart, bringing, you know, people who live in glass brothels, they can't do this.
O'REILLY: Self-destructive behavior, as I think?
MILLER: Bill, it reminds me of Gary Hart. I remember when Gary Hart said, "Follow me."
MILLER: Remember that? And a week later he's on a boat with Donna Rice.
MILLER: And, by the way, Donna Rice has gone on to do exemplary work with children.
MILLER: Thank you, Donna Rice. I — you know, she did it the right way. He should use this as a point of departure to save his life. I think you're right. I think he crashed his life deliberately...
MILLER: ...in some subconscious way to start reassembling the pieces. Because once you're to the point where you're, like I said...
O'REILLY: Well, with all his money, he could certainly start a foundation for children or do some good things. And that's what he should do, because he's done in public life.
MILLER: He should quit and go home, and beg for his wife's forgiveness. And if she doesn't want to give it, he should say, "OK, I'll move on. I really screwed up." The last of it is the job right now. He's got issues.
O'REILLY: Let me ask you this. I call it the John Belushi syndrome. You knew Belushi, correct?
MILLER: No. Never met him.
O'REILLY: OK, well, you know that...
MILLER: Bernie's my manager, so...
O'REILLY: You know the world. You know the world.
O'REILLY: There are people like John Belushi, Janis Joplin and Heath Ledger, OK, who just can't handle success. They don't think they deserve it for whatever reason, and they want to check out. Am I correct?
MILLER: I think that's most humans, Bill.
MILLER: I think it's more than not. I think when you get the big enchilada...
MILLER: ...you've got to start facing the fact that you now have clearly delineated gaps inside yourself that have nothing to do with how much money you make, how much pain you have, how much celebrity or how many restaurants. You have to honestly analyze. It's like a black, crushed velvet jeweler's cloth, and you put the loop on your real problems when you have everything you could need, money-wise. And I think that's what happens to these guys. They get everything. And then they go, "I'm still screwed up. What do I do now?"
O'REILLY: Right. The fame can drive you crazy.
MILLER: Yes, and I think — I've seen a lot of people. Listen, when I was younger I had, you know, I didn't quite know how to handle fame. I'd walk around thinking that person recognizes me. I mean, what do you recognize — and then recognizing me. I like being recognized. Well, what are you, shallow? You know, that whole game that goes on. You have to get your head around it and realize at the end of the day you caught a lucky break. You caught a cosmic wave. Ride it into the shore and try to do it with a suitable degree of aplomb.
O'REILLY: Because we do see this kind of behavior in the showbiz community all the time. In the political community, not so much. But with a regularity that is disturbing. You know, a guy like Eliot Spitzer, a brilliant man, and could have done a lot of good, and blows it up on a stupid thing.
MILLER: Listen, that mischanneled libidinal energy turns into rage.
MILLER: Yes. I think he's a rageful guy. I think to go after people to that degree and to be that sort of arrogant about it, it conveyed some sort of deeper, you know...
O'REILLY: Dr. Miller is in tonight.
MILLER: I've been on a lot of couches in my life, my friend. I know.
O'REILLY: Is that right?
MILLER: Oh, sure.
O'REILLY: I've never done that. See, when I want to go to a psychiatrist, they say, "No, you can't come. We don't want you!" But you've done that kind of a thing?
MILLER: Yes, I've gone to a shrink, sure.
O'REILLY: Really? And the shrink is still operating? Didn't run screaming from the room?
MILLER: Quite frankly, the shrink said, "The best thing you can do is get O'Reilly out of your life."
O'REILLY: All right. One more question on the VP thing.
O'REILLY: Obama VP, what do you think?
MILLER: She is unbelievable. You know, Hillary Clinton reminds me of that knight in the Monty Python who gets all the limbs cut off and she's still laying there in that chainmail pantsuit. Come on. Come on. She's offering him the VP thing? That would be like me coming on here on Wednesdays and saying, "Welcome to 'The O'Miller Report'." You know what I mean? It's crazy!
O'REILLY: A little presumptuous?
MILLER: Yes, it's crazy on her part. Barack shouldn't take that gig, you know?
O'REILLY: No, he shouldn't.
MILLER: And, you know, I like the way he handled it. You've got to admit, the guy is beautiful. If he would just come out tomorrow and say, "Listen, I'm going to change one thing: I'm going to kill terrorists," I'd vote for him. But you know, he's not going to do that, so I can't vote for him.
O'REILLY: But you never know. You never know.
MILLER: You've got to admit he's a smooth cat saying that: "She's offering me the vote?" That was beautiful.
O'REILLY: I have said that from day one. In fact, if I were him, I would have taken it a step further. I would have done a little De Niro: "You talking to me?"
MILLER: "Taxi Driver."
O'REILLY: There you go.
O'REILLY: Dennis Miller, everybody. He's in town. Hide the children.
Copy: Content and Programming Copyright 2008 FOX News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Transcription Copyright 2008 Voxant, Inc. (www.voxant.com), which takes sole responsibility for the accuracy of the transcription. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No license is granted to the user of this material except for the user's personal or internal use and, in such case, only one copy may be printed, nor shall user use any material for commercial purposes or in any fashion that may infringe upon FOX News Network, LLC'S and Voxant, Inc.'s copyrights or other proprietary rights or interests in the material. This is not a legal transcript for purposes of litigation.