Dennis Miller in the No Spin Zone on Vincente Fox and Keifer Sutherland's Jail Sentence
This is a rush transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," October 10, 2007. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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BILL O'REILLY, HOST:Joining us now from Los Angeles, Dennis Miller. Whose syndicated radio program debuted this week on WOR here in New York City, following the "Radio Factor". Best slot in radio, Miller. There you go.
DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Much appreciated.
O'REILLY: President Fox. What did you think?
MILLER: Well, obviously, his life has gone to hell since Carol Burnett's show got canceled, and he's no longer Lyle Waggoner's lighting double. But I think that mustache is in this country illegally, and I want to see some papers on it.
Listen, the guy's got a book to sell, and after watching what he did to Mexico, I can only assume the book is filled with Chapter 11s. This guy is a hack. He's in more pockets than lint, OK? How can you take him seriously, for God's sakes?
The fact is, you go down to Tijuana on any given night with a pair of night vision goggles. It looks like the start of the Boston Marathon in ponchos. This cat should do something or Calderon should do something to make the people want to stay there.
Nobody wants to stay in Mexico. Eventually all of Mexico is going to come here, and we're all going to flee here, because this is Mexico.
O'REILLY: All right. But he says it's our fault, that because the American companies hire Mexicans and because so many Americans use narcotics, that we bring the problem upon ourselves. Does he have a point?
MILLER: I'll give him the point on the employers. Yes, I will. I think those guys should be -- well, this is one area where I think Bush has done a horrible job. You know, usually when they point at Bush on the war, I'm in his corner. I think this man is a champion that will go down in history as a great president.
When I look at the border and I look at this in legal employment, and all they -- they always tell me that he is greased by Halliburton. I don't know if he's greased by Halliburton. But I think he's greased by rich guys who need grape pickers out in California. I do. So I fault Bush on that one. I think he should lean on these guys and make sure they hire illegals.
Yes, and I do think the president is wrong there.
O'REILLY: All right. Now, if you always blame the other person for the problem and you have authority to fix the problem, you're never going to do it, because you can just throw it all over to you Americans. That's why we have the problem. That's what I objected to in the interview with the president.
Remember, he held power for six years. And under him, things got worse. I mean, they're so bad that we have to spend billions of dollars building a wall now down there. He doesn't want the wall down there, but it's his fault that we have to build the wall. Because the Mexican army is on the southern border of that country.
But you know, the northern border it's "come on over" because they -- the Mexicans send the money back. Second largest economic boon in Mexico.
So anyway, you've got a guy who's basically telling you the reason I didn't do anything -- and I don't know if Calderon is going to do anything -- is because we could blame it on you and we'd benefit from it. We benefit from the money coming back in. There you go.
MILLER: Listen, you try to come across Mexico's southern border with Guatemala, you're going to get shot up like a Peckinpah movie. That's why they don't need a wall. We need a wall because we're a little more civilized about it.
My theory is you build a wall, have the illegals in to build it. At the last possible second, you nudge them over to the other side of the wall. Everybody's happy.
O'REILLY: So you would hire illegal labor to build the wall so you wouldn't have to pay as much. Is that what telling me, Miller?
MILLER: And you know what? I would put signage up on both sides of the wall and divide the profits, like behind home plate in a baseball game.
O'REILLY: All right.
Now you're in this world. I'm not in the world of entertainment. Kiefer Sutherland. Here you've got a guy, privileged guy. His father is big star before him. Wealthy man. Famous now because of "24", and he can't stop driving drunk. How do you process this?
MILLER: Well, I think he's been under a lot of pressure since the judge awarded custody of Britney's kids to him. And that's got to wear on him.
O'REILLY: No, that wasn't him. That was K-Fed. That wasn't Kiefer. I know they both begin with a "K", but that wasn't him.
MILLER: You know, if the judge had a sense of humor, instead of 48 days he would have sentenced him to 1,152 hours. But I guess he didn't.
Let me say this about Kiefer. I admire his old man. I don't agree with Donald on a lot, but I think he's a hail fellow well met the times I've met him.
I've met Kiefer a couple times. I think he's a great actor. He seems like a nice kid. You get to the point though where you're behind a two-ton piece of machinery loaded. You've got to change your life.
And when you say, well, they have everything, you know something, Bill? At the end of the day, having everything means you've got the jeweler's loop on to see where your problems still are.
You know, if you don't have everything, you'd think if I ever had anything I'd be happy. Guess what? When you get everything, the areas where you're screwed up become more clearly delineated.
O'REILLY: Yes, because you have a sense of entitlement, and then you walk around saying, "I don't have to obey the rules."
MILLER: No. You're missing my point there. I don't mean that. I mean you find out your gaps don't go away because you've got 22 on the air on FOX and you're making a good bucks.
You find out that your gaps are your gaps, and it runs a lot deeper than show biz. I think that's what happens to some of these kids. They get that whole list filled up, checking off things they always thought would make them happy. They get all of it. They have more than all of it, and they're still not happy. That's when you hit the bottle.
That's one thing. Hitting the bottle and driving, you've got to change your life.
O'REILLY: All right. And he's going to jail because of it.
Dennis Miller, everybody. We appreciate it, Dennis.
MILLER: Thank you, Billy
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