Ah, the Sweet Smell of Cream-Pie Justice — Now in Banana

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A Colorado pastor accused of tinkering with church finances got some harsh criticism Sunday in the form of a cream pie.

Rev. Don Armstrong was delivering his 9 a.m. sermon, "Of Christian Love and Charity," at the Grace Episcopal Church in Colorado Springs, Colo., when 18-year-old Marcus Hyde ran into the church and lobbed a cream pie at the preacher, the Colorado Springs Gazette reports.

"He aimed right at me and would have hit me squarely, but I ducked into the pulpit and it went right over me and onto the floor,” Armstrong wrote to the Gazette. “This poor guy needs to find a more effective [way] to express himself without all the messy resulting complications.”

Armstrong, who is trying to break his congregation away from the Episcopal Church, has been accused of financial misdeeds by the Episcopal Diocese of Colorado, the paper said.

Hyde, who was apprehended by parishioners after a short chase, declined to be interviewed by the Gazette, but his former roommate Garrett Dawson said his friend had been following the Grace church saga.

“It’s a protest move,” Dawson said. “And it’s hilarious.”

Hyde faces misdemeanor charges of harassment, trespassing, criminal mischief and disrupting a lawful assembly.

The pie, Armstrong said, smelled like banana cream.

Thanks to Out There reader Leanne from Colorado Springs, Colo.

8,000 Cases of Beer Down the Drain, 8,000 Cases of Beer ...

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — Beer will flow, but down the drain in Malaysia.

Customs officials will pour out almost 200,000 cans of smuggled beer that they seized over the weekend from a syndicate that planned to sell the duty-unpaid drink at one-third the market price, The Star daily reported Tuesday.

Authorities won't auction the seized beer, as is usually done, because flooding the market with 16,643 gallons of beer would affect overall prices, the report said.

Customs department spokeswoman Noorlida Ibrahim confirmed the seizure but declined to confirm the other details in The Star report.

The 8,000 cases of beer were seized from four shops in an industrial area of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia's biggest city, according to a statement by the customs department.

Two Myanmar nationals were detained in the raid, the statement said.

The beer is worth $84,000 and would have been subject to duty and sales tax of about $293,000.

Each case of 24 was to be sold for $8.80, or one third of the market price, based on seized invoices and other transaction records, Federal Territory Customs chief Madrina Alwi was quoted by The Star as saying.

Madrina said the syndicate, which had been operating for more than six months, worked with freight forwarders and haulers to get duty-free beer meant for Hong Kong, Singapore and local duty-free outlets.

Sex Hot Line Puts the Annual Book Sale on Back Burner

VIENNA, Austria (AP) — This isn't the typical whispering you might expect to hear at a library.

Vienna's City Hall has launched a "sex hotline" to raise money for the capital's main public library, officials said Tuesday.

It's unusual, but it's not particularly raunchy: Callers pay 53 cents a minute to listen to an actress read breathless passages from erotica dating to the Victorian era.

City Hall set up the hotline earlier this month to help the library raise cash for planned remodeling and expansion, Austrian media reported.

Anne Bennent, a famous Austrian stage and film star, reads passages from the Vienna library's collection of 1,200 works of erotic fiction from the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries, the library said.

Officials said the hotline would be operational through May 31.

You Can't Pull the Wool Over This Blind Man's Eyes

CINCINNATI (AP) — Don't try to dupe Kent Parker just because he is blind and operates a deli in the Hamilton County Courthouse.

Every once in a while, somebody tries to cheat him despite the security cameras trained on the cash register and about a dozen sheriff's deputies a few steps away.

In the past two weeks, two women offered bills smaller than they claimed and were arrested within minutes.

"I have a lot of friends who watch out for me," said Parker, 43, who has been operating the Courthouse Deli for eight years.

Sometimes Parker can tell if a customer is acting suspiciously.

"They test me, hand me money, seeing if I know what it is," he said. "I don't see at all, but there are tricks to the trade." One is to simply lay the bill on the counter and ask one of his three employees to verify it. But not until the customer turns away.

"I don't want to insult anybody by making them think I'm doubting them," Parker said.

Bitter Fight Ends With Joint Custody of Dog

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) — Ron Callan Jr. left an estate worth about $2 million, but the most hotly contested item in the late businessman's Probate Court case is his 13-year-old golden retriever, Alex.

The four-way fight over custody of Alex was so intense that a judge appointed an attorney to represent the dog's interests.

A judge on Monday approved a consent order to split custody of the dog based on the recommendations of the guardian ad litem, The Commercial Appeal reported.

"Obviously, this is a very unusual set of circumstances," attorney Paul Royal wrote of his four-legged client. "At first glance, the petition seems almost frivolous, but after speaking with all parties, it is evident that this is a highly emotional issue for all involved."

Callan, whose New Year's Day shooting death was ruled a suicide, left no will, leaving the court to decide what to do with the dog and the rest of the estate.

Callan, 35, was a partner with his father in Callan Salvage & Appraisal Co. His father, Ronald Callan Sr., who was named administrator of his son's estate, has had an ongoing dispute with former wife Esther Snow Gnall over ownership, care and custody of their son's dog.

Ronald Callan even claims his ex-wife tried to pay one of his employees to kidnap Alex, an allegation she denies.

The elder Callan currently has custody of Alex and brings him to work, where he stays in his office. Callan Sr., who has cats at home, has Alex spend his nights with Chris Griffith, his son's former girlfriend who has known him since he was a puppy.

In the consent order, the father and mother will trade custody every two weeks. Both parties agreed to take the dog to the veterinarian twice a week for his arthritis treatments and any other needed procedures.

Also interested in who got the dog was Kim Guill, the fiancee of Ron Callan Jr., who was present when he died. Gnall said that if she gets custody or visitation with Alex, she would allow Guill to spend considerable time with the dog.

Royal, the dog's attorney, said in his report to the court that he believes all four people love Alex and would take good care of him. But he said the parties are using the fight for the dog as a means of punishing each other for past transgressions.

"This case is similar to a bitter custody battle involving children where each party loves the children, but the kids are stuck between two people who cannot coexist," the attorney said in his report.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Sara Bonisteel.

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