Pujols suit turns downright comical

Albert Pujols' defamation suit against former Cardinals slugger Jack Clark just went from water-cooler talk to talk-show punchline material.

That's what happens when an attorney crafts a letter to another attorney calling Viagra a performance-enhancer, giving a shout-out to Simon and Garfunkel, conjuring the ghost of Jack LaLanne to properly define "juicing," and calling details in the suit "kitty litter."

The bizarre letter, dated Monday and written by Clark attorney Albert S. Watkins to Pujols attorney Martin D. Singer, ultimately called for Clark and Pujols to settle the dispute with polygraph tests , the liar then publicly apologizing. But on Tuesday, Singer dismissed the idea of polygraphs and said Pujols would be willing to testify "under oath, under penalty of perjury" in his defamation lawsuit against Clark, the Orange County (Calif.) Register reported.

You can read the full letter here .

According to the Register, Singer said in a statement to the paper that the offer to have Pujols and Clark submit to polygraphs "an absurd publicity ploy by a lawyer known for his hyperbole."

Singer went on to tell the paper in his statement:

"Albert Pujols will testify in this case under oath, under penalty of perjury.

Third party witnesses have also come forward to testify under oath confirming that Jack Clark's statements about my client are false . . . This defamation lawsuit was not filed so that Jack Clark and his lawyer can try to turn a very serious legal claim into a media circus. Instead of focusing

on the facts and letting a jury decide the case based on evidence, Jack Clark's lawyer is trying to use a serious legal claim to drum up publicity. We will see how the judge reacts to his stated intention of using the court to create a 'public spectacle.' "

Pujols, now with the Angels, is suing Clark , who played for the Cardinals from 1985 to 1987, for his comments on WGNU-AM radio's "The King and the Ripper Show" on Aug. 2. On that show, Clark accused Pujols of using steroids, saying he knew "for a fact" that Pujols used steroids and performance enhancing drugs. He called Pujols "a juicer" and made similar on-air comments three days later. Shortly after making the comments, Clark and co-host Kevin Slaten were fired.

Pujols, a nine-time All-Star who played for the Cardinals from 2001-11, filed a defamation lawsuit against Clark in St. Louis County, seeking unspecified damages that would be donated to charity.

--The Associated Press contributed to this report

The original article can be found at FOXSports.com: Pujols suit turns downright comical.