By Chris Ciaccia
Published February 11, 2019
Ladies, eat your hearts out. Or rather, maybe some fruit and leaves.
Known as Maarten, this colobus monkey was entered into the lonely hearts column in search of a Valentine's Day match by his keepers at Drusillas Park in East Sussex, SWNS reports.
The six-year-old primate has an empty adoption plaque (most of the other animals at the zoo have adopters) and his watchers are keen to get him in on the action.
"Obviously Maarten is loved by his keepers and visitors alike," head keeper Sophie Leadbitter said. "But it's heartbreaking for us to see his empty adoption plaque outside his enclosure every day. He is a gentle monkey who enjoys relaxing in the summer sun or enjoying a snooze on his back after a tasty meal."
A profile worthy of your favorite dating app, Leadbitter said Maarten "[h]as beautiful dark eyes and a bushy white tail and is a perfect animal to adopt fora loved one this Valentine's Day."
"Honest, bubbly and an all-round nice monkey, Maarten is looking for love in the form of an adoption," she added.
Colobus monkeys have digestive systems similar to cows, using three or four chambers and bacteria to break down the leaves, which causes Maarten to occasionally burp. But that was "cleverly left ... out of Maarten's column," a zoo spokesperson said.
Anyone looking to be an adopter of Maarten will have to fend off some competition and the situation might get a little "hairy" – he currently shares his enclosure with three female monkeys.
The zoo said that it is offering almost 15 percent off all colobus monkey adoptions to celebrate the holiday and all adopters will receive complimentary tickets to visit their adopted animal, an adoption certificate and plaque and a picture of the animal species they have adopted.
Let's hope cupid's arrow finds Maarten before it's too late.