Donald Hubin: We know how to improve life for kids whose parents live apart – Now states need to step up

Wed, 18 Sep 2019 13:34:41 -0400

A study just published by the National Parents Organization reveals that most states have a long way to go to improve the lives of children whose parents are living apart. The good news is that there is a path to that goal—a goal that everyone shares—that is widely agreed on and … it’s free!

National Parents Organization researchers evaluated the statutes of all 50 states and the District of Columbia to determine the degree to which those laws promote the well-being of children by encouraging separated parents to share as equally as possible in rearing their children. NPO then graded the states’ statutes based on 21 factors that encourage or discourage shared parenting.

The 2019 NPO Shared Parenting Report Card contains some good news but, overall, the news is depressing. The average grade for all of the states is a disappointing ‘C-’.

CRYING BOY COMFORTED BY BUS DRIVER IN TOUCHING PHOTO FROM FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

More than a quarter-century of high-quality research shows that children of divorced and separated parents do best when both parents share parental responsibilities roughly equally—when children do not suddenly find themselves with one overburdened parent and one “every other weekend visitor.” In light of this research, state legislatures should be doing everything they can to encourage this equal co-parenting. It should be the presumed post-separation parenting arrangement.

Most states are missing golden opportunities to improve the lives of children whose parents live apart. What makes this especially distressing is that the path to improvement is not only strongly supported by scientific research. It is, as the Report Card documents, widely supported by Americans from across the political spectrum, regardless of age, race, and gender. And, did I mention, it’s free!

All we need to do is quit casting aside resources that can benefit our children. Those resources are the love, care, and hands-on rearing that both parents can provide, regardless of whether they are living together or not. Let’s stop overburdening one parent and sidelining the other. Children need both parents fully engaged with them.

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And a presumption of strongly shared parental responsibilities when parents separate fits best with the modern family lifestyle, too. Parents in intact families increasingly share the responsibilities of raising the children and financially supporting the family. Our post-separation parenting norms should reflect this arrangement.

While many states are falling down in this area, some are forging the path to excellence. As a result of NPO-led legislative efforts in Kentucky, for example, that state has moved from a dismal ‘D-’ to a straight ‘A’ in just three years. Kentucky legislators nearly unanimously passed laws creating a presumption of post-separation co-parenting. These laws have proven extremely popular with the public and there is now evidence that they are reducing the trauma of divorce for families experiencing this difficult transition.

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Legislators in other states, some of which are sadly lagging very far behind the times, should look at states like Kentucky, or Arizona, which also does well in this regard. There’s much to be learned from their successes.

A ‘C-’ average is just not good enough—not when it’s our children’s well-being that’s at stake. And especially when there is public consensus on a free path to earning an ‘A’.

Divorce is hard enough on children -- why are our courts making it worse?

Sun, 16 Sep 2018 04:00:00 -0400

Divorce is difficult for children. It disrupts their lives in ways they are often ill-equipped to handle. It can have life-long adverse effects.

The good news is that the long term harms of divorce on children can be largely avoided if adults properly handle post-divorce parenting. And a compelling and growing body of scientific research tells us how to deal with parental separation to minimize the damage done to children.

The bad news is that a great many of America’s domestic relations courts seem completely unaware of this research and, as a result, are persisting in applying guidelines for post-separation parenting that exacerbate the damage divorce does to children. That’s true, at least, if Ohio is as representative of America as it is alleged to be.

National Parents Organization has just completed a ground-breaking study—the first of its kind—of the local default parenting time guidelines of all 88 of Ohio’s county courts of common pleas. These guidelines, required by state law, indicate default parenting time schedules and significantly shape the actual parenting patterns of divorced parents.

The results are illuminating, and depressing!

The best research on the well-being of children when parents live apart shows that children typically do best when they enjoy substantially equal time in the care of each of their parents. And this is true for infants and toddlers as well as for older children; and it’s true even when the parents have a high level of (non-violent) conflict. On all measures of child well-being, children raised in shared physical custody score about as well as children raised in an intact family; and they do much better than children raised in sole-custody situations. (Some of this research is listed on the NPO website.)

One would think, then, that court rules, which are supposed to be guided by a “best interest of the child” principle, would be encouraging shared physical custody. Unfortunately, most of them are not; instead, steeped in a 1950s mindset, they are imposing rules that harm children.

Of Ohio’s 88 counties, 64 have parenting time guidelines that allow children to spend only two overnights and 60 hours or fewer in a two-week period with one of their fit parents. Some of these have schedules that prevent the children from being in the care of one of their parents for 12 consecutive days during that two-week period.

None of these counties have parenting guidelines that allow the children to be in the care of their non-residential parent on a school night. What that means is that this parent, now demoted to a second-class status, is never charged with ensuring that the children do their homework, get ready for school, and so forth. This takes one fit parent out of a true parent-child role at a time when it is more important than ever for children to be reassured that both parents are fully engaged in their lives—that both parents are doing the hands-on, day-to-day tasks of raising them.

There were bright spots, too, but only a few. Just three Ohio counties have adopted guidelines that provide children with equal, or almost equal, time with each of their fit parents.

The Ohio parenting time guidelines of most counties are not only sadly behind the times, they lead to results that are capricious and bizarre. For example, children whose parents divorce in Sandyville, Ohio (Tuscarawas County) will presumptively be in the care of each of their parents for seven overnights and 168 hours in a two-week period. Identical children in an identical family, just 4 miles away in Magnolia, Ohio (Carroll County), will presumptively be in the care of one of their parents for just 2 overnights and 48 hours in the same period—and those children will go 12 days straight without seeing that parent.

NPO has published the results of its study of Ohio parenting time guidelines as well as an interactive map showing county-by-county results. We believe that Ohio is, unfortunately, typical of the approach that many courts across the country are taking toward parenting time guidelines: behind the times and ungrounded in research. We encourage those who are concerned about the effects of divorce on children to call for changes that will truly promote the best interest of children.

Sadly, many courts are failing our children. Our children deserve better.

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Donald Hubin: We know how to improve life for kids whose parents live apart – Now states need to step up

Divorce is hard enough on children -- why are our courts making it worse?