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Anita McBride: Barbara Bush led a joyous life filled with love and laughs

Tue, 17 Apr 2018 19:21:00 -0400

When Barbara Bush shared a draft of her memoir with her editor, she was told she was only allowed to use the words wonderful once a page, and precious once a chapter. The term close friends was also added to the list for limited use. How was it possible that someone could have so many close friends?

Barbara Bush led a joyous life filled with the love of a precious family, the treasure of wonderful, close friends, a deep faith, and innumerable adventures and travels that took her all over our country and around the world. Her life is also defined by her example of committing to “causes larger than yourself.” Among the many causes she chose was literacy because she “believed that if more people could read, write and comprehend we would be that much closer to solving so many problems plaguing our society.”

She believed life’s choices must bring one joy. To her, her most important decision was to marry George H.W. Bush. She loved that he made her laugh – even through the tears. Their love affair has lasted 73 years – the longest presidential marriage in U.S. history. As a wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother – she was devoted to her family and as her son George W. Bush said, “she taught us how to live, love, and laugh.

Over the last several days, former colleagues from the White House years have been reminiscing about the lessons we all learned from Barbara Bush, too. One referred to her as a “mother to all of us”; another was reminded when, after days of him being on the 1988 campaign trail wrangling the press by having to kneel on pavement, Mrs. Bush looked at him at the end of that trip with a wry smile said it was “time to get your suit cleaned” while on a three-day break from travels.

Her former East Wing projects director tells the story that in her first days as first lady, Barbara Bush told her staff “that each day we should do something to help others.” Barbara Bush didn’t want to waste the great opportunity before her. Every event she did highlighted a need, helped encourage volunteerism, or focused on literacy. As longtime friend and White House aide Andy Card said, “she motivated all of us to be better people.”

Her interest in motivating us extended to our families. She was particularly interested in our love life, celebrated our marriages and the arrival of children. When I began seriously dating President Bush’s former personal aide they were interested to see us together. They loved him and I wanted to make a good impression. The opportunity came in the form of an invitation to the State Dinner for the President of Brazil. Talk about no pressure. When we got engaged she wanted to see the ring. After we got married she invited us to a movie in the White House Theater. I don’t remember the movie but I will never forget that evening.

Reading the many notes she wrote to my husband and me over the years and looking through the photos we have with her and President Bush has provided solace and many laughs. Several of those photos are ones she took with her own little camera that she carried everywhere, later printing them out, adding a caption and sending them as keepsakes for the kids’ scrapbooks. When my son was about to graduate high school two years ago and looking at colleges she offered him this invaluable advice over lunch: “shoot high, don’t use drugs, and don’t lie.” The latter, she said, ruined Richard Nixon’s reputation and hurt the presidency.

One event all of us on the White House staff – especially the young women – remember is when Mrs. Bush was invited to deliver the 1990 commencement address at Wellesley College. Students protested her selection because they felt Mrs. Bush had gained recognition through the achievements of her husband and not through her own merit. That Wellesley flap took on a life of its own. The networks carried the speech live and I watched it in my White House office. The build up added so much pressure but Mrs. Bush was confident with her speech and the lessons she wanted to share with the students. She started by responding to the backlash with her characteristic humor and wit. “I know your first choice for today was Alice Walker, known for The Color Purple, instead you got me, known for the color of my hair.” Laughter was exactly what was needed to cut through all that tension.

Two months before the Wellesley commencement, the White House announced that Soviet General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev and his wife Raisa would be making a visit to Washington. The date presented a conflict with the graduation. In a deft diplomatic move, Mrs. Bush quietly invited Mrs. Gorbachev to accompany her and suggested that she, too, address the graduates. After nearly two months Mrs. Gorbachev finally responded. When it was announced, the press speculated that Mrs. Gorbachev had been invited so that Mrs. Bush “could hide behind her skirts.” The reality was Mrs. Bush believed that this was an opportunity for Mrs. Gorbachev, a Soviet university professor, to give her first speech in the U.S. at an American college campus and tell the graduates about women in her country.

Barbara Bush fully appreciated that Wellesley had impressed upon these young women the importance of dedication and hard work to their career. She reminded them, though, they are human beings first and the most important investments they will make are the human connections. She went on to tell them that at the end of their life, one thing they will never regret was “time not spent with a spouse, a friend, a child, a parent.”

Barbara Bush has deeply enriched the lives of her precious family, her many wonderful close friends, and the life of our country with wise counsel, a comforting word, humor, her characteristic candor and, yes, her tears and hugs. One of the treasured notes I have from her is a thank you for inviting her to participate in several of American University’s Legacies of America’s First Ladies conferences. She was so humble about her own contributions and especially loved sharing the stage with her daughter-in-law Laura Bush. They hold a unique place in history having lived through each other’s experience as First Lady of the United States. I am so grateful to have have had a front row seat having worked for both of them and their husbands.

Our country has lost one of its great citizens and we will miss her. The sadness we feel is enlivened by the words statesman Adlai Stevenson used during his eulogy at the United Nations in honor of another great first lady – Eleanor Roosevelt – “she would rather light candles than curse the darkness and her glow had warmed the world. “ Rest in peace, Mrs. Bush.

Melania Trump is silencing her critics and taking center stage

Tue, 28 Feb 2017 15:28:00 -0500

When it was first announced Melania Trump would not be moving to the White House immediately, as she wanted her 10 year-old son to finish the school year in NYC, critics questioned her interest in her new role.

Today, more than a month since President Trump took office, we’ve seen her in action, comfortably navigating several high profile events. What do the critics say now?

With two foreign leader visits in one week -- she hosted Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife Sara at the White House, and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and his wife Akie Abe in Palm Beach, Fla.

When she led the crowd in the Lord’s Prayer at an event in front of thousands at the president’s Florida rally, she received a standing ovation.

That tells me this is just the beginning. We should not be surprised she intends to be active, true to herself, carefully making decisions on how to use her role, and not be defined by others’ expectations.

My assumption does not come from looking into a crystal ball. But rather from observing Mrs. Trump’s modus operandus on the campaign trail and as a public figure for years prior.

The Office of First Lady is unlike any other, with no statutory responsibilities, and when you walk in the door you make it your own, finding ways to put your stamp on the office.

The only thing you don’t have any control over are the increasingly high expectations that come with the role. But each first lady finds a way to operate within her own boundaries and make her contributions to the country.

A relatively unknown fact, one of our most outgoing first ladies, was in fact, afraid to give speeches. This was so true of Lady Bird Johnson that when she realized that she had the highest grades senior year in high school class, she purposely allowed her grades to slide to ensure she would not have to give a speech at graduation.

Imagine eventually being married to someone who depended on you to give political speeches across a district, a state, or an entire nation!

Mrs. Johnson travelled more than 35,000 miles when her husband was running as vice president with President Kennedy. As first lady she undertook a historic, four-day, 1,628-mile campaign trip through eight southern states to champion President Johnson’s civil rights legislation. At the time, these states were so torn apart about the law that it was deemed not safe enough for the president to travel to them, but the first lady believed her presence would help her husband and the cause of equality.

It reminds all of us, we don’t know a first lady’s capacity until she serves in the office and history calls her to rise to the occasion. Remember, during the campaign, Melania Trump did not appear regularly but rather picked the right moments to emphasize her contributions as a mother, businesswoman, entrepreneur, and, advocate for her husband, above all else.

She did not appear at everyone’s whim but only when it would capture the most attention. Her final speech of the campaign, arguably coming at a delicate time, was carried live by cable news and discussed extensively as the dominant news story.

On Tuesday night, Mrs. Trump takes center stage yet again with the guests she has chosen to sit alongside her at her husband’s Joint Address to Congress. The invitation is extended to these guests carefully reflect the most important priorities of her husband’s agenda. They include:

- Megan Crowley, who suffers from Pompe Disease, a rare and deadly inherited muscle-weakening condition. Crowley’s father never gave up the fight to help her and founded a pharmaceutical company to develop a drug to keep her alive. Megan was not expected to live more than a few years, and now she is 20 years-old.

- Denisha Merriweather, who has been very vocal discussing how instrumental the Florida Tax Credit Scholarship program has been in her life, enabling her to attend a private high school.

- Jessica Davis and Susan Oliver, widows of California police officers Michael Davis Jr. and Danny Oliver. A man living in the country illegally killed these police officers as they served in the line of duty in 2014. Jamiel Shaw, Sr., whose son, a high school football player, was shot and killed by a person living in the country illegally in 2008 in California.

- Maureen McCarthy Scalia, the widow of late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

At Tuesday night’s Joint Session of Congress we will see yet again, the poise, grace and effectiveness of Melania Trump as the first lady of the United States.

I predict this will further diminish the critics questions of her interest in the role of first lady.

Witness to History -- What I Saw at the Afghan Elections

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:56:03 -0400

Last week, amidst the threat of widespread violence, millions of heroic Afghans went to the polls and cast their vote in their country's presidential and provincial elections.

Thanks to the International Republican Institute (IRI), I was a witness to this historic election as a member of their international election observation mission, one of several international delegations that were in Afghanistan to monitor the elections. This was the third election in the nation's history and the first ever led by the Afghans.

In its 25-year history, IRI has monitored more than 130 elections in 42 countries. In 2004, they were the only western non-governmental organization to sponsor an observer mission to Afghanistan's first presidential election. They also supported the Afghans during their first parliamentary elections in 2005. Like IRI, I have great confidence in the Afghan people as forward-looking and determined to build a stable, democratic Afghanistan.

This was my fourth trip to Afghanistan in the last four years but my first as an election monitor. At the first Kabul polling center I visited, an elderly man working as the polling station manager noticed my camera and gestured for me to take a photo of him smiling broadly, proudly holding his voter registration card, and displaying his outstretched inked finger. Before departing that center I saw a young woman leaving the female section of the polling station to join her waiting husband who watched over their baby while she voted. She was reluctant to answer my question, but through the help of our interpreter and at the urging of her husband she told me it was her first time to vote. It was an encouraging sign that they came together as a family to vote.

At the Habiba High School polling center, I visited two female polling stations. The station managers were proud they participated in three days of training by the Afghan Independent Election Commission to be certified as a poll worker. They took their role seriously and were extremely diligent in following the procedures of recording my observation card number and securing my signature for their log.

At the Wazir Akbar Khan Mosque, I watched a steady but light stream of male voters enter the polling station. I paid particular attention to a gentleman who attempted to enter the site but was stopped by the polling manager for lack of a voter registration card. For nearly thirty minutes the would-be voter made every attempt to cast a ballot by presenting other forms of identification. In an encouraging example of protecting the integrity of the election, the polling manager refused his entry.

At that same mosque, I visited the women's section and was told by a female voter that her friends had been calling around to each other after they saw television coverage of presidential candidate Abdullah Abdullah arriving with his wife for both of them to vote that morning. She told me it inspired her friends to come out and vote despite the intimidation and fear they faced. She was disappointed to hear that only 50 women had voted at that site and said that this should have been a busy polling place. She was angry that the security environment in contributed to Afghans' fears of going to the polls -- particularly the Afghan women.

IRI's 29 international delegates and 40 short-term domestic observers visited more than 250 polling stations throughout the country. The preliminary statement we released on Friday, August 21 praised the Afghans for their pre-election process of first-ever debates, private media coverage that was generally balanced, and pre-election administration that was organized and orderly in the face of challenges such as delivering ballots and ballot boxes and voting materials to remote villages by donkey.

We will be following the post-election vote counting and complaint adjudication process, which will be crucial for the voters' continued faith in the electoral process, before arriving at a final assessment of the elections.

Nevertheless, this was an important moment for Afghanistan's fragile democracy and we were encouraged by the voter's resilience and perseverance. It's hard to not be inspired by the people of this country and I am grateful to have been able to join in the effort to support them during this critical time in their young democracy.

Afghans are worried that the international community is losing interest in supporting them at this time. At our Kabul hotel today, I was reminded why they still need our help. There I met a 19- year-old Afghan young man who was the victim of land mines at age 16. He was crossing a field while carrying firewood for his mother to cook dinner for their family. He told me the unbelievable story of how he stepped on a mine, lost his leg and was tossed in the air only to land on another mine and lose the other leg. He spent nearly 4 months in the hospital. He was later brought to California for more than a year of rehabilitation and to be fitted with prosthetics. He removed one of the prostheses to show me that inside it is painted with the American flag.

He worries about security in Afghanistan but he is determined to finish school and go to university and become a doctor so that he, too, can help people. Every day after school he works at the hotel in exchange for swimming in their pool to get the exercise that eases his discomfort and makes him strong. He is proud of his progress and wants to work hard to improve his life. He told me that his mother prays for Americans every day in gratitude for helping her son. I am glad I met this young man before I left Afghanistan and I pray that he and his fellow citizens can someday enjoy the freedoms we Americans are blessed to have everyday.

Anita McBride is the former chief of staff to former first lady Laura Bush and is a member of the U.S. Afghan Women's Council, a public-private partnership committed to improving the lives of Afghan women and children.