It’s never a good idea to assume that someone is giving you a gift.
A seemingly frustrated parent shared their story online about how after spending years not speaking with him and his wife, his youngest daughter is demanding that he pay for her wedding. According to him, it all comes down to her assuming that he also fully paid for her siblings’ weddings as well, which he says he did not.
Posting under the name No_League_5985, the father shared his story to Reddit’s forums. He explains that he has three children and that he fully paid for each to go to college. While the two older kids went to school for computer science and ended up with high paying jobs, his youngest studied fashion design.
"However, afterward she struggled to find a job in her field and the ones she did find didn’t pay well," the post explains, "so she came back to me and asked me to help her get another degree. I told her I could help her take out a loan but I wasn’t paying and it caused a lot of problems between us and she went no contact. She ended up going to community college part-time while working as a server with the help of her boyfriend."
The post continues to explain that the young woman recently began talking to her parents again after becoming engaged. The parents were excited to speak with her again, but they quickly ran into trouble.
"However, she started planning for things way out of her budget that her older sister/brother were able to have at their weddings," the post continues. "Her mom and I were worried that this wedding would not be good for her financially and decided to talk to her about it."
According to the father, "My younger daughter told us she thought we would pay for most of it and was planning on having a high-end wedding close to what my elder two had. My wife and I told her we were not going to drop $30k to pay for her wedding after she went years of no contact with us. Furthermore, my elder two paid for most of their own wedding, we just pitched in about $5k for each of them. They both make good money, well into the six-figure range."
At this point, the daughter apparently became very angry and accused her parents of playing favorites and that her siblings "got better things than she did."
Most posters seemed to agree that the bride-to-be was acting inappropriately.
"She only got back in contact with her father just before wedding planning to make it seem like she wanted a relationship but in reality, she wanted a wedding she couldn’t afford and op can," wrote one user. "It’s also pretty baffling to me that she just assumed her father was paying without even asking first."
Another user added, "It's her own fault she didn't go into a high paying field, parents aren't ‘playing favorites’ because one kid bought something for themselves."
Some felt sympathy for the man’s youngest daughter, with one user explaining, "If one kid feels like others were favored, I would recommend at least an effort to discuss her feelings. There may be more of a history there than is evident from the post. I say this as a person who suffered from a bad family dynamic which favored one kid over another."