By , Dr. Pam Spurr
Published June 01, 2017
You’re hoping that new guy might be “the one.”
But inwardly, all those dating anxieties haunt you … “Has he noticed my flaws, will my quirks scare him off, will he guess how insecure I am?” The list is endless.
Because, let’s face it, when we fall for a guy, we want him to love us, warts and all.
But we don’t know which warts to share with him — or when.
That nerve-wracking pillow talk.
This is particularly true with “pillow talk.” One sex survey found over two-thirds of women worry about what to say after having sex with a new guy.
New sex can be scorching hot, plus you love the post-coital cuddles.
But you don’t want to mess up the bedroom bliss by saying the wrong thing.
First off, guys have many such worries. They’re just better at burying them.
But here are the six things they’ve flagged for me that make them a little queasy.
Remember, down the line these things shouldn’t bother him! He’s probably not worth your time if they do. But boys can be a bit sensitive at the beginning, so watch out for these …
1. How many people you've slept with
You’ve just had great sex and tell him that of all the 10, 20 or 30 guys you’ve slept with, he’s the best. You shouldn’t be judged by numbers, but some men can be old-fashioned.
Until you trust he’s not the judgmental type — plus you know you’re really into him — keep the numbers to yourself. After all, it’s none of his business.
2. The dirty details about your period
Jokingly announcing to him that he’s lucky he just missed the time of the month when you turn into a bit of a monster might cause him some anxiety.
Bless his cotton socks, he’s embarrassed to talk about monthly moans with a new girlfriend.
3. Your freaky fetishes
You might get lucky telling him about your freaky fetish to tweeze the hair from your ex’s back. He might like you to do that too.
On the other hand, he might hate having images running through his mind of you with tweezers in hand, plucking away.
4. Anything about your bodily grooming
Let’s say you love treating your pubic hair to your topiary skills.
And we all know what can happen with over-enthusiastic plucking, waxing and shaving. Spots and ingrown hairs emerge and razor burn aplenty makes you sore.
Does he really want the gruesome details? Probably not. Just let him enjoy the ultimate effect of your efforts … leaving out anything that may be “too much information.”
5. Your digestive issues
Saying your tummy feels like it could give a volcano a run for its money after the curry you shared earlier in the evening is a no-no.
When you want his mind to be on the glorious curves on your outside, you don’t want him focused on your insides!
6. The size of the last man you were with
The fact you couldn’t have sex for a week after being with a lad on the larger side is something he doesn’t want to know.
If you think telling him you were in pain for that week proves you aren’t a size queen, it doesn’t. He’ll start worrying he doesn’t measure up.