Dunham wrote in a Vogue article Monday that she was “lonely as hell” when a man, identified as Jeremy who is in his 40s, “slid into my DMs” after she posted a “thirst-trap picture in some plus-size panties.” She said she decided to give Jeremy a chance following the end of her nearly six-year relationship to Antonoff in December 2017.
“This seemed like a good way to find someone to spend my possibly long and assuredly messy life with,” Dunham said.
“During the brief spaces between rebound romances, I’d felt choppy and unrealized, like a vintage TV set without the sharpness adjusted,” she wrote in Vogue. “I had recently become sober after years of dependence on prescription pills, and the new community I was meeting with in rec halls and school cafeterias after hours was happy to call my preoccupation ‘codependence’ or, less euphemistically, a sex-and-love addiction.”
Dunham said after she and Jeremy flirted through texts and late-night calls, they decided to meet in person. She recalled meeting him for the first time and wondering at the moment whether he could be her life partner.
“[I] tried to understand—in that quarter of a second—whether I could love him through thick and thin, whether he could raise my adopted child with strength and decency, and whether he would be willing to pull my hair so hard I couldn’t put it in a ponytail the next day if that was what I desired,” she said.
“I hoped that he would care for me when I got a fever or a bad review, that he was OK with an elastic sense of self and an even more elastic waistband,” she added. “And I hoped above hope I might be struck with a sign, there on the deck with my hands clasped above his tailbone.”
Dunham recalled going over Jeremy’s house a second time and feeling uncomfortable. She met Jeremy once more before ending the brief relationship.
Dunham also noted how “people transform once sex is introduced.”
“Just because a man is over six feet tall doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be held and caressed like a teddy bear. The hardest I’ve ever been spanked was by a five-foot-one poet with a Mister Rogers cardigan who has since married a man,” Dunham added.
The 32-year-old actress detailed the struggles of dating and finding a person who would fit her needs.
“I’ve learned that you cannot predict who will satisfyingly dominate you and who will leave you feeling like a Thanksgiving turkey in a Forever 21 bralette, gnawed on then left at the table while everybody naps. I ask for what I want,” Dunham wrote in Vogue. “I listen to books and magazines that tell me ‘taking control is sexy! It’s what adult women do!’ But, like a petulant Jewish mother would say to a daughter who married a goy, ‘I shouldn’t have to ask.’”
“I want to be told; that’s part of my thing. That’s, like, my whole thing,” she said.