I wanted to title this column "10 Ways Startups Are Like Sex," but toned it down a bit to be appropriate for the Entrepreneur platform.
I’ve had writer’s block all week long because every time I write, I want to write the best piece of content the Internet has ever seen. Move over Kardashian news and cats accomplishing amazing feats. That goal puts a lot of pressure on my elementary writing skills though, and typically results in me dancing in front of my computer listening to "electric studying" music while staring at a blank screen. So I decided to just have some fun for today's column.
I was going to write about Tinder’s startup strategy, until I realized, upon further research, it was a myth, and the real hero is Bumble (I’ll save that for another piece). Fortunately, for my writing aspirations, the research led me to this startup-sex piece, which might be the greatest thing ever created in the 2010s.
I’ve been married for 30 days now, and it’s totally awesome. I have the greatest wife on the planet. She is going to crack up when she reads this because these are my two favorite topics: startups and sex.
We can’t be serious all of the time. That’s just boring. So let’s have some fun, shall we? Here are 10 ways startups are like intimate encounters. Mind you, I had to tone my points down a bit, so I expect all of you to add some clever additions in the comments below, or tweet me directly.
1. Anyone can do it.
I mean literally. Sure, there are plenty of excuses such as “nobody wants to do it with me” or “I can’t find a partner,” but you can always go at it alone (yes, we’re talking about startups here people).
2. It’s better with a partner.
Having a partner is way better. Just ask Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak (maybe not the best example) and Ev Williams and Biz Stone.
3. The more you practice, the better you get.
This goes for anything in life, but definitely for startups, and other stuff too (wink!). I’m always testing startup ideas. I read and test new strategies to help grow and build my startups. My experience continues to increase, and with every step I get better.
4. Creativity can win you a following.
You are one of almost 8 billion people on this planet. You have to figure out how to stand out. Being unique and creative is one way to accomplish that for your “startup.”
5. Everyone is doing it.
Startups, that is.
6. Having a bad partner totally sucks.
We've all been there. He or she doesn’t know what to do, causes unnecessary problems and just isn’t working out. But don’t worry, “it’s me, not you …”
7. Once is never enough.
Starting a company can be one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do, and once you do it, you'll never want to stop. The same goes for, uh, “intimate encounters.” In fact, do you know that research has shown that the blue pill has increased the average life expectancy? If that’s not proof I don’t know what is.
8. Both can make you money.
Wait, hold up. That’s a boundary I won’t cross.
9. Sometimes, it gets complicated.
"Girls, you make the craziest excuses to stay, your friends will try and get you out of it... 'Why don't you just go? Seriously Jill just go, Jill? He's a jerk off. Just take your s**t and go.' You're like 'I can't just go Kim, it's not that simple my CDs are in his truck. I can't just walk away from 40 or 50 CDs. It's gonna take two or three more years of abuse until I can leave with my CDs.'" -- Dane Cook
This happens with both "intimate encounters" and startups.
10. No matter what, you'll have a good time.
Even with bad partners, lack of experience and even doing it on your own, "startups” (get your mind out of the gutter people) are tons of fun. The ups and downs, sleepless nights, major victories and everything in between will be memories you hold for the rest of your life.
In short, your Tinder profile should stand out, your startup will probably get complicated at some point and no matter what we’re talking about here, you’re going to have a good time. Now, excuse me, I need to get back to dancing in front of my computer screen.