Gutfeld: Laurel or Yanny is greatest metaphor for media bias
America hears one thing and the media hear another. That's what happens when you're so consumed by Trump anger, it's pushed everything else out of your brain.
This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," May 19, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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CHARLIE BROWN, CARTOON: This time I am going to keep that the football clear to the moon.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This just keep happening...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: In this case it's Kim Jong-un that keeps holding that football and President Trump, not Charlie Brown, left swinging in the air.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Many times before...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: As it has happened so many times before.
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GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Thank you for explaining that, you idiots. It was a word that ripped a hole in the universe.
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Laurel, Laurel, Laurel, Laurel.
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GUTFELD: So, was it Yanny or Laurel? We asked the experts.
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UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We are going to do Laurel and Yanny debate with three-year-old twins. What's your name?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (Inaudible).
Okay, all right, so we are going to press play and see who hears what.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Laurel.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yanny.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yanny.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Laurel.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yanny.
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GUTFELD: It's going to war. This has got to be such a big deal even the White House got involved.
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UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's Laurel. But I could just laugh and divert to Yanny
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sarah, it's been reported that you hear Laurel. How do you respond?
SARAH SANDER, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: Clearly you are getting your information from CNN because that's fake news. All I hear is Yanny.
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: I hear Kofefe.
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GUTFELD: So, here is the thing. That video about Laurel and Yanny now becomes a Laurel and Yanny itself, meaning if you like Trump, you'll actually laugh, but if you are a host at CNN, you will say, "How can you laugh when children don't have socks in Kurdistan."
So, the silly audio puzzle may be the greatest metaphor for media bias ever. Think about this? When Trump says something what do you hear? A joke, but the media, they hear racism.
And when you hear Trump describe MS-13 as animals, what did the media hear?
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The President of the United States saying these are not people, they are animals. It is a disgusting way to talk about human beings.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He does things like call immigrants animals.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He was just talking about MS-13. Good enough?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, not good enough. It is a very slippery slope when you dehumanizing people this way. It's what the Nazis did.
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GUTFELD: She is the model of stability.
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UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You know how to spell hypocrisy? Or should I spell it out for you. Back of you, creep, I'll use the line. Please don't do this, it really annoys me. I'm through with your smirking and laughing. I am not in the mood for this point. Oh happy day. I've made my point.
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GUTFELD: So, the media gets it wrong, but why should they care, Trump is mean and evil. He's like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, minus the Doctor Jekyll, essentially he is just Mr. Hyde, but this is what happens when you're so consumed by Trump hate that you can't think straight.
Recently, The Daily Caller asked people who would you rather date? A felon or a Trump supporter? A majority said felon.
Now, they are lying, but the great thing about surveys, you can do that. If they really meant it, they head to a local prison, go straight to death row and snuggle a serial killer. You will die, but you showed Trump.
But the media is worse. Here is a tweet from John Harwood, "However repugnant, their actions, MS-13 gang members, they are human beings in my humble opinion."
No, he's right, MS-13, they are humans, but John, so was Hitler, so was Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Carrot Top.
So, when you your fact applies to everyone, it's no longer meaningful. Oh, yes, he killed your family, but both of you enjoyed "Star Wars." That does not work. Nancy disagrees.
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NANCY PELOSI, MINORITY LEADER OF THE UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: When the President of the United States says about undocumented immigrants, these aren't people, these are animals. You have to wonder does he not believe in the spark of divinity and worth of every person?
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GUTFELD: No, hold on. I think I just realized the MS in MS-13 stands for misunderstood. Keep talking. I wanted to keep talking because if this is the direction the Democrats want to go, just reelect Trump now. You're becoming the cartoon we always thought you were, but at least the media is coming to grips with their own delusions.
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I do think that we have to acknowledge that there is so much more happening more in the world than Donald Trump and we, in the media are essentially all Trump all the time. Let me express my own addiction as well, you know, wife and I, we find ourselves our pillow talk is always about Trump.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I am a Trump addict. I think I am willing to admit that. I think all roads lead to Trump right now.
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GUTFELD: So, yes, he's addicted to Trump, but the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Now there is a place to kick the habit.
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You've have heard about it the media.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have to acknowledge that there is so much more happening in the world than Donald Trump.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But the first step to healing is admitting it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I am a Trump addict.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Before it is too late.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My wife and I, we find ourselves, our pillow talk is always about Trump.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's right. It is terrible. But now, there is hope, thanks to the Brian Stelter Institute for the Trump Addicted. We understand the need for a safe space to talk about your unhealthy obsession with the president.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I stay up all night waiting to see what Trump is going to say next.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I have not slept in 483 days.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I see. Mr. Di Nero, what about you?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know, I watch these Trump rallies on the TV and it seems like the more fun they have, the angrier I get. It upsets me.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, the good news is, this is not a real medical condition so [bleep] grow a pair and get on with your lives. Feel better now?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Little bit. Little bit. I do, I do.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The Brian Stelter Institute for The Trump Addicted. So you can stop whining forever.
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GUTFELD: All right. And so like every other week, the media chases words and overlooks deeds. But I get it, it is frustrating. They've been obsessing over Russian collusion and it seems to be shrinking away. You know what the collusion story really is for the media?
It's like the press bought a roast chicken on a Sunday and by Tuesday, they are down to nothing but bones and gristle. True, the roast chicken of collusion is bare. If only the media had a roast chicken collusion regenerator.
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, Tom, you are on in five minutes.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I know, but my Russian collusion chicken, look, it's almost gone. How am I going to talk about Russia without my delicious rotisserie chicken of Russian collusion?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You heard about roast chicken collusion regenerator?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, tell me more.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's right over there.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: how does it work?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The roast chicken collusion regenerator uses hysteria convection technology to re-grow your collusion chicken ensuring there's always fresh meat to the story. It even comes in a compact disc unit for companies that rely on Russian collusion chicken for their day-to-day business.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Here we go, 30 seconds.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Whoa, that is some fresh collusion chicken.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know what they say, give a man a roast chicken, he will collude for a day. Give him a collusion chicken regenerator, he will collude for a lifetime.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We will be able to pick at this forever. Thanks, collusion chicken regenerator.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Order now and we'll throw in a free Stormy Daniels spatula. No matter what the news picks up, you can always look at the Stormy.
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GUTFELD: I'm pretty sure I was not high when I came up with that. Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's got more tails than a petting zoo, author of, "Up in the Air" and columnist at "Harper's Magazine," Walter Kern.
If you are feeling blue, seek out Dr. Drew, host of the radio show, "Dr. Drew Midday Live," Dr. Drew Pinsky. Her favorite children's book is "The Omen," National Review reporter Kat Timpf, and his favorite snack is the actual Milky Way, former WWE superstar and my massive sidekick, Tyrus.
All right, Walter, you have been traveling the country. I have not seen you for months. You're not even watching any news.
WALTER KERN, COLUMNIST AND AUTHOR: Yes.
GUTFELD: I am sure you don't know what I'm talking about with the Laurel, whatever, what do you take about the gulf between the media and the public you have just seen?
KERN: Okay, in late February, I left on an eight week road trip across the south and southwest. I determined that I would watch no news, not go on the internet and not listen to the radio.
The last words I heard before leaving were Stormy Daniels and Robert Mueller. Eight weeks away, I turned back on the radio and the first words I heard were Robert Mueller and Stormy Daniels. I call myself Trump Van Winkle.
Apparently except for aging slightly, America is doing exactly the same thing every day which is a obsessing about non-stories while North Korea denuclearizes, the Iran deal gets ripped up, there's not just some news out there? There's like the biggest news of our lifetime.
GUTFELD: Yes, don't go away anymore. Dr. Drew, okay, let's get to -- this Laurel-Yanny thing explains everything in life and that scares me. And I think you might agree with me.
DREW PINSKY, HOST, "DR. DREW MIDDAY LIVE": I do agree with you. You're a Scott Adams acolyte who pointed that out that it's a tear in the universe that points this thing out that we can both all hear the same thing. We can listen to the same thing and hear two completely different things.
The MS-13 discussion was a perfect example of that, and people get heated about it. It's so weird to me. They are really -- you saw those twins, getting upset about it. But I am telling you why, the metaphor that I like even better that you pointed out a minute ago was Trump addiction.
I don't know if you want to get into that, but the media needs to go cold Trump. There's really no other way. There's no other way to deal with it.
GUTFELD: You are the expert.
PINSKY: I am telling, the obsession, their life is falling apart and there's progression they try the same thing over and over again, right?
KERN: But Dr. Drew, here is the thing about addiction, if you go cold turkey without giving your life over to a higher power, you are just going to be angry, frustrated and resentful.
PINSKY: No, there are going to be a dry Trump, and so, the dry Trump may be worse than the (inaudible)...
(CROSSTALK)
KERN: Exactly.
PINSKY: You're absolutely right.
GUTFELD: Dry Trump. I am amazed that this is the first time that word has ever been uttered together. There is a higher power and I don't know who that -- it could beat Liz Warren. Kat? What do you make of the media that's all kerfuffle if you will over animals?
KAT TIMPF, REPORTER, NATIONAL REVIEW: Well, it's so interesting because so many in the media wake up every morning trying to think of what negative story can I put out there about Trump? And this week, the best they could do was that he thinks that gang members are not good people.
I always thought that if somebody rapes a bunch of people and rips their limbs off and murders them, that it's not a big deal if you don't like that person. I really always thought that that wasn't controversial, but apparently it is.
GUTFELD: No, no. You are being judgmental.
TIMPF: I guess.
GUTFELD: How dare you call rapist and murders animals? All right, Tyrus, bring it home.
GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FORMER WWE SUPERSTAR: First of all, I got to see him on his trip and he looked like he had been in some trouble. It was weird and scary. It was like 12:00 at night and he came to my house and I was like, "Whoa, Walter Kern, are you a murderer? You look weird." He didn't watch the news or anything. We watched "Jaws" and he talked during the whole movie.
But, no, no, this is what is so great about him. I didn't mind it. He was explaining to me how different it is. And he's like, "This part, this is -- he's chasing this Moby Dick, and this, this, this." And I was like, "Yes, okay," I get why he basically narrated "Jaws" to me. It's phenomenal, so...
And you know, when he left I said he looked like a filthy animal so, you know, MS-13...
KERN: I just noticed your tattoos.
MURDOCH: Just now?
KERN: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
MURDOCH: And the next thing, he just noticed I am black and then he is going to -- everything else. You're going to call on me? You know, I just think that we live in a world today that's sad, or maybe good. I don't know if I was MS-13, I am apparently a better person than the President, I guess that's cool in certain -- it used to be frowned upon. You know, if wrote on my job application, MS-13, I am not going to get the job and probably some men in uniform are going to show up. Now, it's...
PINSKY: Now, they are going to talk about your spark of humanity.
MURDOCH: And give me a hug. Let's all go out together and hug MS-13 members. Let's all get together and hug them, see how that works out.
GUTFELD: Yes, all right, I am the spark plug of humanity. Coming up, another shooting at another school. We analyze the debate over guns, that is next.
So, another deadly school shooting, this time Santa Fe, Texas. Friday.
So, let's assess how we assess this.
To me, I hate to say it, it's Laurel versus Yanny yet again. The Yanny, we have too many guns and need to ban some, if not all. The Laurel, you will never get rid of guns, but since good guys with guns protect us from bad guys with guns, we need more armed security.
So, it's too many guns versus not enough. We can keep going on this merry- go-round forever or admit that we are going nowhere. Why not choose another way? Maybe a compromise, you want sensible gun control without infringing on your rights? How about a system that tag psychos who are considered high risk by authorities and teachers? That is gun control that does not affect all of us, just the nuts like this recent scum ball.
And meanwhile, schools should start hiring way more trained armed personnel. One variable that reduces injury is time. Meaning, the duration between the first gun being fired and the arrival of a second gun, the more you reduce the duration, the more you reduce casualties. So, that is a compromise.
As for the media, be aware that your blanket coverage of a symbolic gesture meant for infamy does not help. It only creates more incentive to unleash such ghastly gestures.
This latest shooter picked up tips from those past. Where did he learn them from? Us.
So, Dr. Drew, you deal with a lot of pathology and a lot of psychology, what kind of problem is this in your mind?
PINSKY: Well, I mean, these are different things. Each one is a different problem, but I spoke to a kid -- a young adult today who was almost one of these shooters and he said he had been physically abused and emotionally abused by his mom, his dad abandoned him and then he got bullied, he said that he felt that was the recipe for some of these kids.
And we have really come through a period in this country where every childhood experiences are exceedingly common. You add bullying to that, you add certain kinds of Asperger's and certain other mental illnesses and then you have access to guns. Now, I don't know if you heard the press conference today, but the governor -- the Lieutenant Governor and Ted Cruz sounded like you.
They said they were saying some of the things you were saying just now.
GUTFELD: They listen to me.
PINSKY: They do, and I feel like there's a sort of a threshold of that, the fact that this was in Texas and the fact that it's a gun toting Texas and the fact that the leader spoke with such clarity about, "Hey, we have got to do something about access. We have to get better security." There were two armed guards in that school.
GUTFELD: Here's the problem with these schools in places like Texas, they are huge. It's not like New York or Philadelphia where there's one entrance and exit, when, you have all that land, all that land, Walter it is hard. How is the security at your son's school?
KERN: The security at my son's school does not exist. The security at Fox News is much better. Now, not to hurt anybody on the panel here, but I am most concerned about you and Tyrus taking care of yourselves, than I am about 100 or 500 teenagers in a school. Why don't we have check-in, checkpoint, security of the kind that Manhattan office buildings have at schools?
GUTFELD: I agree.
KERN: We didn't not use to have it at airports.
GUTFELD: I mean, our audience, I frisk personally. Tyrus?
KERN: And you enjoyed it, too.
MURDOCH: Okay, I know that you and I had a talk about frisking already.
GUTFELD: That's true, that's true. I know. All right, we should not be joking. Anyway...
PINSKY: You're going to have this...
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: It's coming.
GUTFELD: It's coming.
MURDOCH: To Walter's point and we have to be preemptive. We have to get ahead of this thing and unfortunately, this is about the fourth time in this show we've had to talk about this and it's the same thing.
We need fences. We need dogs. We don't just need two armed guards in a 16-football size school. We need teams. Just like -- we talked about it when we talked about 9/11, our airport got hit, we changed the way -- you can't go to the airport the same since then. You can't go to school the same way today. It needs to be preemptive.
First responders did the best they could. They are amazing, but something has to happen for them to respond. That first shot is fired before they can save the day. We can easily -- if we did it with her airports, we do did it with our concerts, we do it with our schools. Let's put a bill together.
It's a national security issue in my opinion, protecting our kids. We could put it together. We're putting a wall on our borders. We are putting walls around our schools. Get money together and let's get this done.
GUTFELD: It's not hardening soft targets. That's what it. Let's get Kat in here. What this comes down to is actually make more laws, more security and I would question whether a libertarian is okay with that.
TIMPF: You have to be careful in terms of looking at how effective it would actually be. A lot of what goes on in airports is just security theater. It doesn't actually makes us safer, it just kind of moves the checkpoint outside the airport -- or moves the danger zone outside the airport. You have to be careful.
But the way that this has been discussed is really kind of disgusting to me because you look at the incident, there is really no constitutional gun control law that could have prevented this. There just isn't one, and still, the left is blaming it on the right and blaming it on the NRA even though it knows there is no law that is constitutional that could have sold this. And so, they are just doing that to further demonize the right for no good reason and shame on them for doing so.
GUTFELD: I do think there is a lot of variables and this is the complex problem that people try to simplify within the two -- the idea of -- you know, the prison of two ideas, more guns more less guns?
PINSKY: Yanny.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PINSKY: It's the same thing.
GUTFELD: It is.
PINSKY: But I look at it like a contagion that is spread now and we have to contain it.
GUTFELD: And the way to contain it though, the media has to stop talking about the guys. They do deep dive on these shooters immediately and if you are a kid who wants to go out in a blaze of glory and you see it is glory and it's infamy because we cover it. It's martyrdom. They are going to remember me if I take out a bunch of people, and they look at that, so that's -- it drives me crazy watching coverage of this.
Like don't show them, don't talk about them. Treat it like a national disaster. Try to fix it, but eliminate that person.
KERN: Greg, I'm being serious here. You know what they have in common besides often psychiatric illness and histories of abuse, and access to guns, Facebook. They all have Facebook pages. And social media has driven a hunger for notoriety at any cost. These companies had better start examining -- they take all these surveys and keep all this data about all of us, except apparently potential school shooters.
GUTFELD: Exactly, and there was stuff there. There's always stuff there. All right, coming up, politics, who do the Democrats have to run against Trump in 2020? That is not a tease. I am really asking. I see no one.
MARIANNE RAFFERTY, CORRESPONDENT, FOX NEWS: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Marianne Rafferty.
The family of the suspect in the deadly high school shooting in Santa Fe, Texas is speaking out saying in a statement that, "We are as shocked and confused as anyone else by these events that occurred." They also offered prayers and condolences to the victims. Ten people were killed and 13 injured in that shooting rampage.
Meanwhile, the mother of 16 -year-old Shayna Fisher, one of the students killed, since the alleged gunman deliberately targeted her daughter because she repeatedly rejected his romantic advances.
And also, in Texas, officials say a gas leak caused an explosion and flash fire at a chemical plant near Houston. Nearly two dozen workers were injured, but all are expected to recover. Officials with the plant are blaming the incident on a valve malfunction that allowed gas to escape.
I'm Marianne Rafferty, now back to the "The Greg Gutfeld Show."
GUTFELD: Will the Dems be plenty in 2020? This week, potential Democratic presidential candidates road tested ideas at a conference in Washington -- Liz Warren, Bernie Sanders, Cory Booker, Kirsten Gillibrand -- they are all there, and of course, this little fellow, too.
Do not laugh. He totally get monetary policy but as The Washington Post Dana Milbank pointed out, there is no single candidate who has what is needed to defeat Trump. Welcome aboard, pal. We have known that for months. It's bad.
All right, I actually contacted a friend of mine, a major higher up in the Democratic Party, and I asked for their potential presidential and Vice Presidential running mate, the pairings, and so we sent the actual bumper stickers that they were preparing for 2020s or the Presidential nominee and his running mate, and so first one here, this is this first -- Liz warren is going to be running, but the bumper sticker will have, Liz Warren and The Kars For Kids Band. The actual running mate. That's the actual running mate, but then it could be that The Kars For Kids are actually going to be running on the front ticket, but their running mate is A Delightful Butterfly.
Bernie Sanders will be running and they're pretty sure he is. His running mate will be The Flu. However, you never know, The Flu might declare to run on its own, but with a running mate, Al Gore. This is so good.
Joe Biden is running, I am pretty sure. They haven't figured out his running mate, but I heard it could be A Half, Full Bottle Of Robitussin Found Under A Car Seat, so it's really hot and sticky.
By the way, remember, Tim Kaine. Yes, he may be running and his running mate will be Tile Grout. However, there has been a contention between the two. Tile Grout might be running. Tim Kaine might be his running mate.
Now, last but not the least, my favorite one, may favorite one. Some guy I just met on the bus and his running mate is his buddy, Carl. He was all hands. Kat, Kat, what are they going to do? Any options?
TIMPF: I think that they are screwed. Just look at what they have aligned themselves with in the past week? They've have defended MS-13, they've defended Hamas, they do not have a message that everyday Americans with something that resonates with everyday Americans. All they do is they are obsessed on hitting Trump, hating on everything he does and even if he doesn't do anything wrong, like for examples says violent evil gang members are evil and violent, they are still going to focus on that rather than coming up with a message which is what they so desperately, desperately need.
GUTFELD: You are right, Tyrus, what is that message?
MURDOCH: Much to do about nothing. He's smart.
GUTFELD: There you go. You read the cliff notes.
MURDOCH: I am so damn right. Obama kind of had the same situation. Trump and him they keep becoming more similar in terms of dealing with their parties. No one was going to knock Obama off and no one is going to knock Trump off. He is just the change that the country wanted.
And all his opponents they run on, "I don't like Trump." That is not good enough. I mean, they didn't not learn from, all right, "I don't like Obama." Okay, what else have you got? I really don't like him. That's not -- that's not a running -- Trump. I don't like him. It's just not enough.
KERN: They are going to run Hillary again.
MURDOCH: It doesn't matter.
KERN: They have got no new ideas. And that's going to be her slogan, no new ideas, Hillary for president.
MURDOCH: Much to do about nothing. I am telling you, it is going to be great.
GUTFELD: You think she is going to be a good choice?
KERN: She is better than tile grout.
GUTFELD: Are you sure? Have you seen his...
KERN: In a one-to-one matchup, I am not sure, but with tile grout on her side, she's at least got a little charisma.
PINSKY: I am back to their underlying illness.
GUTFELD: Yes, what?
PINSKY: The Trump addiction. They just have to get sober first. They have got to learn the Trump serenity prayer.
GUTFELD: That is for next week. We need to come up with the Trump serenity prayer for next week. You know what the funny thing is, the only way the Dems can win is if the country is in peril, so as long as things roll merrily along like the economy and whatnot, they are going to be road kill on the highway of life.
So, what they need is an alien invasion from some planet far away, an asteroid pestilence, the problem is, Dr. Drew, they think the pestilence is Trump.
PINSKY: Yes, that's the problem.
GUTFELD: So, they are in this delusion, which isn't real, but if they got out of the delusion they could try to figure out.
PINSKY: And they hear Laurel.
GUTFELD: Yes, they hear Laurel.
PINSKY: They hear Laurel after all.
MURDOCH: And it's not just that, this has never been a better time for independence in the green party, like all of those are going to pulled from the Democrats. Everyone is going to be kind of pulled away from the Democratic Party, so they are going to have the same problem they had last time when Bernie was the better candidate, but the Democrats weren't sure, so they pushed things to go Hillary because it was her turn, because she was entitled.
So, I mean, they are going to have the same infrastructure issues than they had before. Nothing is going to change, much to do about nothing. I am telling you.
GUTFELD: All right, we have got to go, to the next block. It's the most anticipated summit since the Royal Wedding. Look at them, they are a lovely couple actually. North Korea and the US, us, America in Singapore, will it be canceled? We discuss.
Are the prospects dim for our meeting with Kim? Less than a month before the historic meeting between North Korea and the US Kim Jong-un is threatening to take his ball and go home, which means someone read "The Art of the Deal." Because Kim knows when to walk away from the table. Thank God, he did not read 50 Shades.
Anyway, now some say it's because Kim hates Bolton. He actually called him repugnant. We went to Bolton for a response.
Man, but Kim's stunt, it's negotiation. You think Trump did not expect this? Why do you think he's been playing it so cool.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: It's taken a long time, many, many decades to get here. Let's see what happens.
What happens, who knows? We have a chance at something really great for the world and great for North Korea.
We will see what happens.
We have not seen anything and we have not heard anything. We will see what happens.
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: We will see what happens. Not that the media heard any of that, they think Trump is getting played, which is dumb because negotiating is what he does. He makes deals, break steals. Deals are literally his art. So, yes, let's see what happens. My art, on the other hand, is a little different.
I pick a hobby that no one else does, so I am the best at it. Dr. Drew, the missing ingredient here obviously is Dennis Rodman. You've interviewed him. You spent a lot of time with him.
PINSKY: I know Dennis.
GUTFELD: Is he busy? And if he is, can they get Gary Busey?
PINSKY: Both are available, but I talked to Dennis and said, "Dennis, can you ever imagine a world where people would associate you with world peace," and he laughed about it. He sees the humor in it, but he said, "Look, I've always just said that the Korean people are good and they are probably going to be happy with this deal."
GUTFELD: What you think, Tyrus? Is this going to happen? Isn't it already progress? This guy six months ago -- okay, he is threatening to cancel a meeting, six months ago he was turning to nuke us, that is progress.
MURDOCH: Yes, that's progress. You asked him about Dennis Rodman before me, I guess that's progress.
PINSKY: I am sorry. Are you okay? Are we good?
MURDOCH: We are fine. What was your question, Michael Scott?
GUTFELD: Michael Scott.
MURDOCH: Oh, you never seen the resemblance, really?
GUTFELD: All right, yes, what do you think?
MURDOCH: I think that what has taken me aback has been how excited the media is that this might fail. I have never -- it wasn't like Kim got up on the microphone himself, and said, "No, we're not doing the deal, it's over." His generals or it was like his foreign minister -- a policy they made a comment because they were upset over military action and that was it. They were so excited, he finally failed. That's where we are at.
GUTFELD: (Inaudible)...
(CROSSTALK)
KERN: Trump will get up to the table eventually, too, how do you react to that.
GUTFELD: That's what you.
MURDOCH: But I am saying, that's the world we live in. You would rather have failed world peace attempt than a successful President Trump. That's where we're at.
GUTFELD: I am convinced the media -- the people in the media because they live in New York have never bought a car before, much less like an apartment because has how many times -- how many times during a closing of an apartment, things almost always fall apart. I had woman who walked out of a closing because they wouldn't replace the kitchen door handles.
MURDOCH: What were the door handles, Greg?
GUTFELD: They were made of human flesh.
KERN: I've got to get in on this. First of all, what people have never seen is professional wrestling.
GUTFELD: Watch it. Watch it.
KERN: Don't you know when...
MURDOCH: I don't know nothing about what...
KERN: Well, let me tell you, Tyrus. When there's a big title match coming up and they get the two sides to trash talk each other as to increase interest in the match.
MURDOCH: I'm interested.
GUTFELD: All right, Kat, wrap this up for us. What's your prediction?
How do you feel?
TIMPF: Well, I'm not really surprised by this very much seeing that Kim Jong-un is an evil dictator who starves his people and puts them in camps. Maybe canceling some plans does not exactly seem below him on the bad person scale, but again, we don't know if it is going to happen or not yet, and I completely agree with Tyrus that it's been disgusting that some people are excited that it's not going will not happen.
Because I don't care how I feel about a person, but the person that I hate the most in the world, if their success means I'm not going to get blown up, then I am going say, "Go for it. I you win.
GUTFELD: Exactly. All right. Great show so far. Still to come, a quarter of Americans spend all day inside. The other three quarters I use them to knock squirrels off my birdfeeder.
Are we pasty bores who stay indoors? According to a new report, a quarter of Americans spend nearly all day inside. A survey of 16,000 people across 14 countries found that for Americans, 25% spend 21 to 24 hours inside -- that's me 20% spend 19 to 20 hours inside, 21% spend 15 to 18 hours and the remaining, 30% said, I love Greg Gutfeld. Thank you. Finally. Researchers found a big disparity between how much time we think we spend outside versus how much we actually do.
I never go outside unless, of course, it is to do this.
That is how I get to work. All right, Walter, you spend a lot of time indoors, but -- no actually, you are an outdoorsman, aren't you?
KERN: See these two tans? It depends what you're outside is. When you're outside is beautiful, sunny California, you spend time outside, when you're outside is Cleveland, you spend time inside.
Now, the problem is, they won't get skin cancer.
GUTFELD: Right, that's true.
KERN: They might grow a mold.
GUTFELD: I would take the mold over skin cancer. Dr. Drew, I see this as evolution. Indoors is a better version than outdoors because we, humans, made it. Mother Nature -- that is wildfires and wasps.
PINSKY: I am learning so much about you, Greg, when I hear you say that.
GUTFELD: We have been victorious over our surroundings and that is why we stay inside. Who needs the outside?
PINSKY: I mean, you live here in New York City where no one does venture outside. God forbid, why would you? But in Southern California, we're outside all the time. We do, it's called frolicking.
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: But I think the implication is this, that we are involved with our computers and with our phones and things all the time and that is largely an indoor activity.
I think that is the implication here that we are now living our lives out in the virtual world rather than out in the world.
GUTFELD: And to bring the indoor outdoors, so even when they're outside, they are still on their phone, Kat.
TIMPF: Yes.
GUTFELD: I was describing you.
TIMPF: Yes. I see absolutely no reason to go outside. Ever. I don't have a dog. I don't have a Frisbee, what else is there to do? I'm serious. Inside there is TV, there's very nice indoor cats, there is the computer which is really interesting and fun.
Outside, I feel like it's always raining or it's sunshiny and people are smiling and happy and frolicking about and that is even worse.
GUTFELD: I know. They project their happy privilege to your face.
TIMPF: Yes, it's like wow.
GUTFELD: All right, Tyrus, do you encourage your kids to go outside?
MURDOCH: Oh, they know to go outside. So, I asked about this house, I grew up being outdoors. I never wanted to go home. Well, mom was kind of there, but I'd prefer to be outside.
And even as an adult, I love being outside now because it's not crowded. I've never gone -- I go outside, I've never gone fishing like, "Damn, there are just so many people here." This is great. The parks, swing is always open. Like because people -- like you said, on their phones, but I am always outside and my kids just know to go outside because I was threatened to go outside. We had rules. We had to stay out until the streetlights came on or the friend left.
GUTFELD: The special friend. I go back to the fact that this is a success. We are the only animal -- they are some critics that -- critters that build dams and dig holes, but they are still losers and I am talking about beavers and rabbits. They are not humans.
We actually continue to evolve and create more complex technologies. You know, we started with the wheel and now we have more wheels. We do electrical work. Dogs and cats don't. This is what we get. This is our reward, no?
MURDOCH: To be stuck inside by yourself?
GUTFELD: Exactly.
TIMPF: What is better than that?
MURDOCH: I'm sorry.
GUTFELD: Congratulations.
MURDOCH: (Inaudible) watching from home on your monitors, right?
PINSKY: But the question is, are we changing our environment of evolution adapt to this? Are we going to change as we create the environment?
GUTFELD: That is the big question. Does our hands turn into a hand like a cup holder because all we do. What if our hands evolves over like this?
KERN: You know, like aliens look like, those slim gray creatures with no noses.
MURDOCH: That's how that happens.
KERN: That's how it happened.
GUTFELD: I want to make sure that we mean space aliens.
KERN: Space aliens.
GUTFELD: All right.
KERN: Not MS-13.
GUTFELD: Yes, because you know, because Nancy will say, "I can't believe..."
KERN: Sparks of divinity. Oh, god.
GUTFELD: All right, hey, by the way, my book is going on sale soon, so you've got to go to Amazon and order this right away. It's all of my monologues, all my monologues in this one little book and I comment on them because some of them well, they sucked. So, go buy my book. Don't go anywhere, final thoughts, next.
We are running out of the show. Final thoughts, Walter.
KERN: Read "Harper's Magazine." Somebody has to and I write for it.
GUTFELD: Yes, fantastic articles. Dr. Drew, what are you doing?
PINSKY: I will read "Harper's Magazine." I advise that they go to drdrew.com, all my awesome things are there, and remember, the only way to deal with Trump addiction is called a Trump.
GUTFELD: I thought it was dry Trump?
PINSKY: No, you'll be a dry Trump unless you accept the higher power.
GUTFELD: Tyrus?
MURDOCH: This summer, look for a super con movie starring me. I'm going to tell you about it.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right, last word, Kat?
TIMPF: I don't know, all I do is just watch Netflix by myself at night.
GUTFELD: Well, that's enough. Way to end the show.
PINSKY: You said nothing's better than that.
TIMPF: You can always count on me for that.
GUTFELD: Exactly. All right, thank you Walter Kern, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Kat Timpf, Tyrus.
I am Greg Gutfeld, I love you, America.
END
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