President Trump fires up his conservative base at CPAC

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 23, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5:00 in New York City, and this is The Five. Busy Friday, President Trump firing up his base today with a rousing speech at CPAC outside of Washington, D.C. He addressed a number of pressing issues, including the crisis in our schools, North Korea, and also the upcoming elections, hoping to motivate the crowd not to be complacent about the midterms.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Historically, if you win the presidency, you don't do well two years later. And you know what? We can't let that happen. Don't be complacent because, if they get in, they will repeal your tax cuts. They will put judges in that you wouldn't believe. They'll take away your second amendment, which we will never allow to happen. They'll take away your second amendment.


TRUMP: They'll take away those massive tax cuts and they will take away your second amendment. The senate Democrats and the house Democrats have totally abandoned DACA. They -- they don't even talk to me about it. They have totally abandoned. You know, we get the reputation like DACA. It's not Republican. Don't worry, you're getting the wall. Don't worry, OK.


TRUMP: Getting the wall.


WATTERS: There was, of course, lots of trademark Trump flash as well.


TRUMP: All those horrible people back there. They're going to support me. Do you know why? Because if somebody else won, their ratings would go down. They would all be out of business. My administration, I think, has had the most successful first year in the history of the presidency. I really believe that. We have a very, very crooked media.


TRUMP: When I was here, 2011, I made a speech. It was a love fest, 2011, I believe the time was. And a lot of people remembered and they said we want Trump. We want Trump. By the way, what a nice picture that is. Look at that. I'd love to watch that guy speak. Oh, boy.


TRUMP: I try like hell to hide that bald spot, folks. I work hard at it. It doesn't look bad. Hey, we're hanging in. We're hanging in.


WATTERS: We're hanging in. I thought, Greg, that was the best moment. So self-deprecating for someone that's pretty, I wouldn't say vain, but very involved with his hair. He loves his hair. And to make that point I thought was pretty funny.



GREG GUTFELD, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: I don't know if this is recent, but he's really good at taking the slings and the arrows and turning them into armor. So it's like -- it's very difficult -- you were talking to me about this new Stephen Colbert cartoon about Trump and how hard it is for anti- Trump comedians to prosper because Trump himself is actually more interesting.

DANA PERINO, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Yeah, but the cartoon is not that funny.

GUTFELD: Yeah, because you're competing with that.

WATTERS: He's funny.

GUTFELD: And that's actually funnier. So like imagine a portrait class where everybody is painting an athlete but all they can do is stick figures. That's what's happening. He's better at doing this than everybody else. I would say he's adept at it because he.

WATTERS: He loves that.

GUTFELD: I did feel like watching this and I was like at, you know, Ruth Chris because there was so much red meat. Like, that's the audience that wants it. When you're going to CPAC you give the red meat. But the only difference is, he's interesting and he's funny. I mean, the Democrats could use some of that.

WATTERS: Very entertaining. We think the Democrats are funnier, Greg, for a different reason.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes.

WATTERS: We're laughing at them not with them. He was there, obviously, to, you know, tout his accomplishments and also to fire up the base because it's going to be a base election and, traditionally, the party in power doesn't do well. Do you think he effectively, you know, created any momentum for the base?

PERINO: For the crowd there, absolutely.

WATTERS: But in the larger context?

PERINO: Well, yeah. He has -- the three big things, the accomplishments he's going to point to are tax reform and the economy.


PERINO: The judges.


PERINO: For this crowd in particular. And then, I think he would say second amendment protections. That's not really a proactive thing that he did.

WATTERS: But they love that.

PERINO: But those are the three things that he kept repeating. And it's not so much a perspective thing like look at all the things we're going to do this year in 2018. That's what he said last year. Look at what we're going to do in 2017, because there's really nothing that they're really going to be age to get done. I don't think immigration is going to get done. And I just saw John Cornyn. I just found a statement saying he does not agree with the president on raising the age of weapons to 21 -- of getting a weapon at 21. So you already see that peeling off in the senate.

So the perspective things aren't going to work. But, telling that crowd that if the Democrats win, they're going to take away the tax cuts, they're going to try to take away the judges that you have and they're going to try to repeal the second amendment. So you better go out there and vote.

The only thing about this speech, and I said this a lot, is that I feel like he could drive a news cycle better if he chose one thing to drive news on at the top of the speech, let the networks and all the reporters cover that piece, and then move on to do the rest of the speech because everything gets lost. It's like being at Ruth Chris with five course meal and I couldn't eat it all.

WATTERS: So the big news I think what you would say was the North Korean sanctions that he left to the very end. I almost think he might have almost forgotten he was going to break the North Korean sanction news because there was so much other stuff. And he also spoke to reporters before he even got to the event. And I see what you mean about diluting the message. Juan, what was the most offensive part of the speech?


JUAN WILLIAMS, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Seven years to go.


WILLIAMS: For an old man you're risking a heart attack.

PERINO: You're going to make it?

WILLIAMS: Seven years, oh, my gosh. That's what he said, seven years to go. The CPAC audience went wild. So this was a rally. That's what -- I thought it was going to be and I think his staff thought it was going to be something about increasing sanctions on North Korea. As you say, he's kind of got to it at the very end but as an afterthought. He was far more interested in to pick up on the steak house analogy of throwing out the chunks of red meat everywhere he turned.

I was surprised that he was throwing out chunks though that had to do with things like Democrats abandon DACA. I'm the one who cares. Wait a minute, he's the one who ended DACA and set this March deadline. Now, he finds himself in a situation the deadline is approaching and he's got nothing, and the Democrats are willing to take a risk. I hope they're having a little more spine than they did last time when Schumer backed out on that budget deal. And then, this business about lock her up. Jesse, it just seems to me like, you know, what would you say, Greg, I said a 1970's hit. Do you know what I mean? We've been through that but he still.

GUTFELD: It's his free bird.


GUILFOYLE: Oldie but a goody.


GUILFOYLE: Classic rock.

GUTFELD: That was a snake.

WATTERS: That was the best part.

WILLIAMS: Yeah. But I mean it's like he's going back. He needs a Hillary. He needs an Obama. Because he just needs somebody to be.


WATTERS: Right. But Kimberly, I think every politician has a boogie man out there, whether it's at home or abroad that they use to score points against. And Hillary continues to be out there in the conversation, so why not take a shot?

WILLIAMS: She lost.


WATTERS: Say that again, Juan?


WILLIAMS: She lost the Electoral College.


GUTFELD: It's like ground hog day for her. Every day she gets up and she's reminded she lost.

WILLIAMS: No, no, you like Pelosi.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, that one, too. Yes, Hillary is like the boogie person.

WATTERS: Excuse me, I stand corrected.

GUILFOYLE: Right. So the boogie person.


GUILFOYLE: And -- yeah. But the crowd loves it. They love it. They're like, OK, lock her up, they go crazy. You know, he does his hair stuff. (INAUDIBLE) So this is like classic quintessential President Trump. This is how he speaks. Every time he gets up in front of somebody it's a rally opportunity.


GUILFOYLE: You know. So -- and he obviously did very well with the crowd there. They loved him and he loves them back.

WATTERS: He said that at the end. He said I love you guys. You've been to CPAC, right?

GUTFELD: Yeah, I spoke there like five years. There's one thing too that-- we didn't -- I don't think we have in the montage, where he was explaining what happens after you win an election.


GUTFELD: And how, like, yeah -- you just won it and like a year later it's really hard. I don't remember any president ever saying that. That's human psychology 101. He was explaining why you lose in two years in a way that people at home understands. Oh, it's so much work, you already won. That's the best -- so persuasive, I think. You're looking at me like I'm from out of space.

WILLIAMS: This is evidence of how little he knows politics or how little preparation he has for the job. He's never been a senator. He's never been a governor, never been a congressman.


WILLIAMS: And he comes out and say, oh, this is really hard. Who knew healthcare could be so complicated? To me, this is subject of ridicule.

GUTFELD: At least that's honest.

WILLIAMS: Honest? Oh, my gosh.

PERINO: I like it when he said -- when he said that working on policies that are good for our enemies -- not enemies, but our opponents. And they might not even realize that these policies are good for them, but we're doing it anyway. I thought that was kind of effective.

WATTERS: Yeah, it was effective. He had a few nice things he said about keeping his promise, Kimberly. He bragged, obviously, like he's the only politician that's actually kept more promises than he made during the campaign. But when you look back, besides the wall, a lot of the stuff he has delivered on and the audience really enjoyed that.

GUILFOYLE: They did. And because, I think, they feel like, you know, kind of the man of the people, even though he's a New York billionaire. He's relatable because his language, his rhetoric isn't like flowery. It's very like down to earth. It's like relatable for the average man, woman. There's something for everybody there. Like, this is my guy. He's not trying to talk above me. He's not trying to talk around me. He's making me feel like I'm here for you. We've got things in common. I'm getting it done. And so, that's like a reassuring feeling. It's not like the typical politician where you go I can't relate to that person at all.

WILLIAMS: Can I play skunk at the garden party for just a second?

GUILFOYLE: Be yourself. I can smell it from here.

WILLIAMS: I think he promised to do away with ObamaCare.

WATTERS: The mandate is gone.

WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah. I think.

WATTERS: The mandate is long gone, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Obamacare is so real that Scott Walker in Wisconsin is now thinking about backing out.

WATTERS: It's a real mess.

WILLIAMS: Then he says, oh, I think we should have infrastructure. Oh, I don't see any infrastructure spending, none. Oh, no, no, no.

WATTERS: The Democrats could come to the table, Juan. You would actually get some infrastructure.

WILLIAMS: How about I promise to cut the deficit. The minute I get in there we're going to cut -- oh.

WATTERS: Well, at least he wipes ISIS off the map. How about that promise.

GUTFELD: Here's what's interesting, you know, it's amazing to see Democrats caring about a deficit and Trump did that for him. The thing about what Kimberly says, and what Dana says, and what Juan says is the presentation is an old school populist. Gets up there and he's telling you this is what we're going to do. But when you pull back -- the reason why none of us we all go, like, we have disagreements, all of us do, is because-- almost everything he does is common sense centrism.

If you look at his immigration stance he talks about a enforce border, but he's also talking about 1.7 million people. We talk about gun, he's talking about practical proactive solutions that some -- might even NRA might not like. Tax reform, if people think that really helped the rich, they're wrong.

PERINO: Can I add one other thing.


PERINO: That he did today. It wasn't in the CPAC speech but in his press conference with Martin Turnbull. He talked briefly but it was interesting insight into -- that he is getting the briefings that he understands what's happening in Syria, and he said it was disgraceful. Two hundred and fifty innocent people that we know of were killed, targeted by Russians and Syrians, and we have a huge mess on our hands there. The one thing that I think is a little bit difficult to understand is -- OK, so he says that but also in the same speech or in the press conference he says, you know, we have degraded ISIS, we've taken away their territory and we're out of there.


PERINO: And that is not sustainable. Both of those things cannot be true. So I think going forward in a second year of a presidency your foreign policy pieces get really important and little but more difficult to deal with.

WATTERS: Absolutely right.

WILLIAMS: Just before we go, it's kind of a serious note, but there're stories now that indicate the Russians were in touch with top leadership before they attacked.

PERINO: It's the same guy. That report is terrible. You could tell that the president knew about it and he was talking about it.

WATTERS: All right. He was there to protect Stoneman Douglas High School but he didn't take action. The president has some words for the armed officer who dodged his duties that day, up next.


GUILFOYLE: A break down on all levels, that's how one Florida lawmaker describes the grave failure to prevent last week school massacre. Yesterday, the sheriff in Broward County acknowledged his office received 23 calls about suspected murderer Nikolas Cruz going back a decade. The FBI, of course, failed to properly investigate two tips it received.

And on top of it all, we've just learned the armed deputy sheriff at the school that day, did not enter the building to engage the shooter. Instead, he stood outside as students and staff members were gunned down inside. Scott Peterson was suspended without pay and placed under investigation and then chose to resign. Here's Sheriff Israel.


UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Scott Peterson, was he there when the shooter was still inside the building?


UNINDENTIFIED MALE: And so, what should he have done?

UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Went in. Addressed the killer. Kill the killer.

UNINDENTIFIED MALE: How much time went by that he did not go in and could have gone in?

UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Minutes, minutes. I think it was upwards -- I think he remained outside of upwards of four minutes.

UNINDENTIFIED MALE: What would you say to the family.

UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Devastated, sick to my stomach. There are no words.


GUILFOYLE: President Trump also had words about that officer today.


TRUMP: He trained his whole life. He's an example. When it came time to get in there and do something, he didn't have the courage or something happened. He heard it right at the beginning. So he certainly did a poor job. But that's the case where somebody was outside. They're trained. They didn't react properly under pressure or they were coward. It was a real shot to the police department.


GUILFOYLE: OK. So the president addressing -- it's obviously, everybody devastated. Can you imagine the family members and -- these poor students that were murdered to think, my God, you could have done something if you reacted. How many lives could you have saved? What could have you done? But instead, you stood and tried to protect yourself instead of trying to save others, which is your duty?

GUTFELD: There's a couple of elements to this whole story that are just infuriating. And it makes me infuriated at Sheriff Israel because he said there are no words. But when he was up at that town hall, he had a lot of words for Dana Loesch. There're 18 calls from people about this guy. There were nearly 40 home visits. There's two tips to the FBI.

You find out that this Scott Peterson actually had warnings passed on to him about this mad man before this. The FBI tip was pretty incredible, said the guy was going to explode. And then you have Sheriff Israel deflect -- or trying to get the audience at that town hall to focus on Dana Loesch. And like, this wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for guns, guns, guns. Meanwhile, if he's aware of all of this stuff.

GUILFOYLE: What about him?

GUTFELD: Oh, my gosh. I mean, this guy, he's got to go. I mean, this is like -- this is -- I mean, Scott Peterson, who knows what happens when this moment comes, do you freeze, if he freeze, but he did have prior knowledge about this. And their job, for the police, if they have to be the first one in there. They rush in so we can run away, and he didn't do it.

GUILFOYLE: I know. But yet others that had no weapon rushed in to try to.


GUILFOYLE: ROTC, OK, students, rushed in and tried to save others, and the coach and others that were so heroic and had nothing to defend or protect themselves is unbelievable to me. Dana?

PERINO: It's like a firefighter saying I'm not going in to that burning house to try to save somebody -- hangout out here. The thing that also bothers me about that sheriff is that -- I didn't say anything on the day publicly, but he was so infuriating about and about -- and off putting thanking all of the first responders and he went through all of them -- and you did you such a good job. You did such a good job. And every single press conference for three days is about how great everybody else had done. In the meantime, whether they didn't know about this until recently or they're trying to cover it up is so devastating for the family.

GUTFELD: Just that point, I think it was Jake Tapper tweeted some information that he -- like deliberately ignored the people that actually got there first. It was another county of officers.

WATTERS: Allegedly, there was another police department that had gotten there first and did a lot in terms of first responding. And the sheriff, Israel, kind of ignored that. He's a very political guy. He seems to be a real operator where you don't want that. You want more law enforcement. I've seen pictures of him smiling with Hillary, smiling with Bernie Sanders. You know, I'm not accusing him of anything, that's not what I -- out of the sheriff, I just want a straight shooter. And I have a few words for him. He said I have no words. How about I'm sorry? How about we've failed? I would have liked to hear a little accepting responsibility with his deputy that didn't do his job.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, he should go.

WATTERS: He should go. And you know what they did? Instead of when they found out that this guy was derelict they just suspended him. They didn't even really fire him. You probably can't even fire someone. And now the guy retires with full benefits. But the fact that state, local and federal agencies all failed, yet all the sudden they want to blame the NRA, makes no sense to me here.


WILLIAMS: I thought he was trying to blame the FBI.

WATTERS: Well, the FBI should accept some blame, too. They have more than the sheriff.

WILLIAMS: Let me just say, I mean, you know, it's so easy to blame someone else. But you think about it, Jesse, almost a million calls. A million calls. And they've got to pick, you know, the needle out of that haystack. That can be difficult especially when you're dealing with laws in Florida. Today, a lot of discussion about this so-called Baker Act which allows you to involuntarily take somebody and commit them because you see them as a danger to themselves or danger to others.

Well, apparently, psychiatric officials had contact with this young man but couldn't pass that threshold. And that threshold can be pretty tough. And I would think that conservatives would say, yeah, we don't want people just somehow bad mouthing us or saying stuff about us and taking away either our guns or our liberty.

WATTERS: I would think those people that evaluated him are probably feeling pretty bad about that right now.

WILLIAMS: I don't know. I think though on the guns part. I think back to Columbine. I think to Aurora. I think to what the president saying today in light of what happened with the guard here in Parkland, in every case, there was an armed guard. It didn't stop anything.

PERINO: Not in Aurora.

GUTFELD: Aurora was a gun-free zone. But I think it's going to be hard politically for liberals to watch if Donald Trump outflanks them on this issue and actually comes up with the practical solutions that they claimed that they wanted but haven't put through.

GUILFOYLE: Well, some bad news for Kim Jong-un today, breaking North Korea developments next. Stay with us.


PERINO: North Korea got slapped with the largest set of sanctions ever imposed by America today. The action targets ships and companies helping the regime fund its nuclear weapons program.


TRUMP: If the sanctions don't work we'll have to go phase 2. And phase 2 may be a very rough thing, maybe very, very unfortunate for the world. But, hopefully, the sanctions will work. We have tremendous support all around the world for what we're doing. It really is a rogue nation. If we can make a deal it will be a great thing. And if we can't, something will have to happen.


PERINO: The president's daughter, Ivanka Trump, arrived in South Korea today for the close of the Winter Olympics. She said she'll use her visit to advocate for maximum pressure on the north. So, Jesse, we're turning up the heat.

WATTERS: They're ratcheting it up.


WATTERS: So I like how the Trump administration has slowly delivered stronger and stronger sanctions without letting the north know there is a phase 2. Maybe there's a phase 3. How many phases are there going to be the way a python kind of squeezes its prey very slowly over a period of time.

GUTFELD: Or a frog in a pot of water slowly boiled.

WATTERS: Apropos. So that's the hard power. And then you have Ivanka coming with the soft power with the glitz and the glam. Everybody loves that. And that puts a much more.

PERINO: Substance too, probably.


WATTERS: Yeah, that too. More substance too. But I mean, not as substantive as the gunships encircling the peninsula. And, you know, I think it's carrot and stick.

PERINO: Juan, one of the things interesting about the timing of the announcement is that when Vice President Pence was headed to the Olympics, he made some very strongly worded speeches about North Korea and being tough. Knew what happened at the opening ceremony. Ivanka Trump is going for the closing ceremony. The head military intel guy from North Korea is also going to the closing ceremony. And so I think it was a strategic move to put these sanctions out today as she's landing in South Korea.

WILLIAMS: Well, I'm not sure what's going on because, remember, they canceled the meeting -- they thought that Pence was going to have a meeting. They canceled that meeting at the last moment.

Now, there's no such prospect for Ivanka Trump. There's no such meeting scheduled. She will have, I think it's dinner or something with the South Korean president--

PERINO: Yes, tomorrow.

WILLIAMS: -- at his residence. But the big event will be Sunday night for the closing ceremonies. And so you'll have the two of them. Now, Ms. Perino complained last time about Vice President Pence's seating.

PERINO: Yes, I did.

WILLIAMS: Tell us why.

PERINO: Well, I just feel because the cut shot put the vice president in a bad position. And I would have advocated for a different seating arrangement.

WILLIAMS: Right. So the question is now they'll be seated. Maybe they can -- well, President Trump is not there so we won't have to worry about the bald spot. But you can understand--

GUILFOYLE: What a hater.

PERINO: The cut shots don't matter all that much, and that's just a small little thing.

WILLIAMS: But the question is, they're not going to talk. But the question is how it comes across. Because I think it's a lot of symbolism that she's there representing the president, very much his No. 1 child.

PERINO: And these sanctions, Kimberly, must et -- we must have some idea, the intelligence communities, that the -- must know that North Korea hasn't tried to stop its nuclear program at all.

GUILFOYLE: Of course, right? So they're getting real-time intelligence on this and updates, as they should. They have to monitor it very closely. So they're obviously receiving information showing that they're not in compliance and, therefore, these kind of actions need to be taken.

But I like the fact that, look, we're being very well-represented by Ivanka Trump. She's going there. And the president was obviously very proud of her to represent the country, so I think that was nice. And I'm glad that he sent his daughter. I think that's symbolic. Send a strong woman over there. Represent the country. And while at the same time putting the fist to North Korea.

PERINO: And Greg, you had a good point in the commercial break. It's a new cold war tactic. And old tactic for the new cold war?

GUTFELD: Yes. We're declaring war on companies not just the country, which is important. We have to really go after the Chinese banks, which is going to be an issue.

You know, if I wanted to walk across the studio, but each step -- each successive step became half the length of the previous step, I would never reach the wall. Do you know that? That's what these sanctions are. There's an endless spectrum of intensity. And the hope is that you never reach the wall, which is the war.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: So the point is you have -- we hear this is the biggest one yet. Each one will always be the biggest one yet.

WATTERS: I like my python analogy better a lot better than that.

GUTFELD: I was -- I was mad you took the python one. Because I had that. I was thinking that's what the snake poem was about. The snake poem.

Anyway, I'm certain if we do go to war with North Korea we will win, because have you seen how they march? They can't get very far that way.


PERINO: It's like they're taking half a step back.

GUTFELD: Yes, they're taking half a step back. They do. It's like very slow, right, Juan?

GUILFOYLE: Running man.

WILLIAMS: If I'm living in South Korea or Japan, I'm thinking, "Yes, you might not get hurt but what about us?"

GUTFELD: I know, I know, I know. I was just trying to make a serious topic a little lighter. I failed, America.

PERINO: Well, we're going to keep going on some serious topics.
California is in President Trump's crosshairs again. You're going to find out why, next.


WILLIAMS: Welcome back. California just got another lashing from President Trump for failing to help the feds curb illegal immigration. And now he has a new warning for the state.


TRUMP: Frankly, it's a disgrace the sanctuary city situation. The protection of these horrible criminals. You know because you're working on it. And the protection of these horrible criminals in California and other places.

But in California that if we ever pulled our ICE out and we ever said, "Hey, let California alone. Let them figure it out for themselves," in two months they'd be begging for us to come back. They would be begging. and you know what? I'm thinking about doing it.


WILLIAMS: Democrat Dianne Feinstein fired back, saying the president's obsession with California is growing more outrageous by the day. She says her -- his attacks are, quote, "patently false" -- Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. I mean, I think it's kind of funny. Is that bad?

WILLIAMS: No, no. But what's--

GUILFOYLE: Because you know, he gets upset about this. He doesn't like -- because California and a lot of the politicians, they are very aggressive against him. They want to sue him about the wall and environmental reasons. They're upset because they feel that they don't like his immigration policy. This is essentially the birthplace, the capital of sanctuary cities, right, with San Francisco and the crimes that have happened.

So they're a state that's very vocal and critical about the president, his policies, what he's been able to accomplish and what he is intending to accomplish, like building the wall. So, because of that, they get his focus and attention. So he says things like that that perhaps are not, you know, something that you would like to hear. But this is his personality. This is who he is.

WILLIAMS: Wow, that was interesting. You mean you don't totally agree?

GUILFOYLE: I didn't say that. I'm explaining to you--

WILLIAMS: No, no, no, but--

GUILFOYLE: -- where he's coming from based on the relationship, which is a little bit complicated--


GUILFOYLE: -- and has not been quite receptive. It's not his state.

WILLIAMS: So should Chicago and Philly be on the watch for a Trump payback?

WATTERS: It's possible. I don't think it's an empty threat. But you could hear the anger in his voice. He's very frustrated with California. California and the Trump administration on a collision course.

GUILFOYLE: Clash, yes.

WATTERS: We're going to get a crash course in federalism if this continues. They've gone after him, as you said, on environmental, on illegal immigration, on judges. They've been smacking him. I think his travel ban a few times. So--

GUILFOYLE: Yes, Ninth Circuit.

WATTERS: -- it makes -- it makes for entertaining, you know, discourse.

But at the same time California has been totally mismanaged by liberals. They've been run by liberals for decades. They're broke. There's a very high crime rate. Homeless population is out of control. A lot of dependence on the government there. All they have is weather, great food, and great landscapes.

So to make California out to be this paragon of virtue, it's just not true. Someone else should come in and take charge there, because I mean, if it keeps going the way it's going, we might not have a lot of the beautiful parts of California anymore.

WILLIAMS: Just -- just a quick question. We're short on time. But Silicon Valley, Hollywood? That's not--

WATTERS: That's amazing parts of California, Juan, but not everyone lives like Hollywood and Silicon Valley.

WILLIAMS: No, no, I'm just saying that's pretty successful.

WATTERS: I agree, but that's not -- doesn't define the state.

WILLIAMS: Their economy is pretty amazing to me.

But anyway, so Dana, Jerry Brown, the current governor of California, signed a California Values Act that forbids local authorities from asking about immigration status. This was back in December. So it would seem like he -- that the president is putting it to Jerry Brown: "I'm going to take away your ICE agents or you undo that law."

PERINO: Right. And so even if the president is just spit-balling ideas, and he's later told by his chief counsel, "Actually, sir, you're not allowed to do that," it doesn't necessarily matter, because from a communications standpoint he is trying to make his case. And so he can constantly go back and say, "I would have taken them out of there. They deserved it, but I've got to keep them in." So it becomes a rhetorical device, in a way. But it does send a pretty strong message, and other states wil probably take a second look and want to back away from the hot stove.

WILLIAMS: So we've got two California people on this panel. One of them is Greg Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: That's correct. Thank you, Juan, for noticing that.

This is obviously sales tactic. You know, every option's on the table. We've seen this before. Remember when he asked, "Why can't we use nukes?" Remember that? "What's the problem with using nukes?"


GUTFELD: And "why can't we build a wall?"

GUILFOYLE: Look at Juan. Juan's like, "What?"

GUTFELD: But you brought up California. As a Californian, it's depressing to me, because I loved growing up there. It was the best -- probably the best time to live in California was during the '70s. It was fantastic. You know, it was this -- it was great. It was cheap. Now it's not. I can't live there. But now it's been a crappy--

WATTERS: You can't afford it.

GUILFOYLE: New York is really inexpensive.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. I moved to a cheaper place.

California is in a crappy situation, literally. San Francisco, I believe, spent something like $30 million cleaning up homeless feces and syringes.

GUILFOYLE: All right. That wasn't like that when I was first lady.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Here's the thing. You ever watched that show called "My 600-Pound Life"? It's about really--


GUTFELD: Life. California is that person. It's too big to move.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: So everyone else is moving. Everyone is leaving.

And by the way, you did bring up Silicon Valley and Hollywood. You're talking about the ultimate example in economic inequality. Stockton right now is going to enact a universal-based income because people, they can't -- they don't know how to deal with people not having jobs.

Meanwhile, Silicon Valley is the richest place on earth. Something's wrong there, man.

WILLIAMS: All right. Well, "Facebook Friday "with the man who contains clear liquids in his unicorn cup when "The Five" returns.



GUTFELD: Yes, those are fantastic, and so is "Facebook Friday." It really is fantastic. Let's go to the first question. Why waste time?

Nancy L. asks, "What is the most kind thing someone has done for you that you will never forget?" Oh, a good meaningful question. Dana.

PERINO: That's kind of hard. Because you're thinking of your parents or something. OK. I think that when President Bush surprised me with a portrait of Jasper as a puppy, it became my most favorite possession.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PERINO: Like I don't really -- I'm not sentimental about many things, but that's a thing I really care about.

GUTFELD: That's a good thing. Jesse.

WATTERS: I can't really say it on TV, so I'm going to say something else.

I got into a little bit of a car situation when I was in high school, and my dad swooped in and then told the cops that he was driving.

PERINO: Whoa, Mr. Watters!

WATTERS: I could have been in a lot of trouble.

GUILFOYLE: You got your dad in trouble right now.

PERINO: You know there's no statute of limitations in New York.

WATTERS: It wasn't in New York.

GUTFELD: All right. I'm going to do a search. Juan.

WILLIAMS: I think the one thing that stands out in my mind is I once had an editor who used to just ride me.

WATTERS: Juan, keep it clean.

WILLIAMS: Believe me, this was -- this was just -- when I said ride, I mean, like, "You can do better. Come on, come on." And then one day he said, you know, "You could be an astronaut. What are you doing?" And I remember thinking that's a wake-up call. You know, just take advantage.

GUTFELD: Tough -- tough bosses are good. I've always said that, Kimberly.

WATTERS: You usually are spaced out, Juan.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, indeed. Indeed.

GUTFELD: Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Let's -- I don't know. I mean, I'm trying to think of something really, really, really, really good. And I don't know that I have something really, really good. But like thoughtful acts in general?

GUTFELD: Yes, somebody who was very kind to you that you'll never forget. Like a short talk show host who might have lent you some food when you were hungry.


GUTFELD: Unnecessary.

GUILFOYLE: Not you, Greg. When I think of nice things, you know what I thought of right away, but I think it's because I've been super into them and missing them, like when Dana would give me little presents like my chocolate.

PERINO: The Edwin Marks chocolate.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. The salted caramels and just for no reason and then you gave me the, like, you know, the little things.

PERINO: Oh, yes.

GUTFELD: All right. The kindest thing was when Kimberly told me yesterday that the producers are scared of me. So then I go upstairs and I asked my staff for "The G.G. Show," "Have you ever heard anybody say anything like that?" And then my producer said, "Well, one of the producers from 'The Five' described you as very difficult and used the 'D' word."





GUILFOYLE: This is becoming the worst show.

GUTFELD: I've never -- this is a whole side of this I'd never experienced. Like, me?

PERINO: That's the kindest thing that someone's ever done?

GUTFELD: Because now I'm like -- now I'm like, going, "OK, am I difficult?"

WATTERS: You don't know you're difficult?

GUILFOYLE: You don't know that you are?

GUTFELD: No, I'm the easiest person in the world.

GUILFOYLE: No, you're not.

WATTERS: No, you're not.

GUILFOYLE: You're totally insane. You're also very quirky. You also have a lot of issues with your, you know, gastrointestinal, hypochondria.

GUTFELD: Usually, it's somebody who demands things. I just want to do things. Right? There's a difference.

WATTERS: Greg, Greg, are you kidding right now?

GUTFELD: No, I swear to God.

WATTERS: You don't know that you're difficult?

GUILFOYLE: -- busted out laughing, like, "Wow--"

GUTFELD: This is all going back to the fact I have two "One More Things," but I do them fast, and I do them faster than you guys do your one.

GUILFOYLE: No, but you do it regularly, and they're afraid to stand up to you to go hey.

WILLIAMS: Well, you can't fault him on self-awareness, Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: That's why everybody is, like, "Oh, my God."

GUTFELD: I'm never going to forget this. It was very helpful to know what people think about you. That's all I'm saying.

GUILFOYLE: So I was actually the thoughtful one--


GUILFOYLE: -- by pointing out your--

GUTFELD: Yes. This is from Sandy M.: "Having never been to New York City, what is the one thing you would advise a first-time tourist to do?" Oh, that's so tempting. All right, Kimberly.



GUILFOYLE: OK, first time -- well, I don't know. I think, like, going to Broadway in New York is, like--


GUILFOYLE: -- a very quintessential--

GUTFELD: Boo. I'm saying "Boo" but go ahead.

GUILFOYLE: -- experience.

GUTFELD: Yes. Juan.

WILLIAMS: Walk. I mean, this is a great city for walking in. You can walk--

GUILFOYLE: The park?


GUILFOYLE: The park.

WILLIAMS: But I'm saying walk among the billions. The towers. I mean, it's incredible place.

And if you want to go down to, you know, the World Trade Center and look, the new World Trade Center is pretty attractive. But Times Square awesome. Go uptown and to, like, to the tombs and so forth. I think this place, this is amazing. Go to the churches. Man, I tell you what, there are architectural wonders to God in this city.

GUTFELD: What about you, Jesse?

WATTERS: I would say come right outside of Fox and then wave to us as we're doing the show right there, and then wait for Dana and Greg to leave and then give them big hugs as they leave the studio. They love that. They absolutely love that.

GUTFELD: Love big hugs, especially if you're really big--

WATTERS: Yes, exactly.

GUTFELD: -- and crush our spines. Dana.

PERINO: I would say Central Park has off-leash hours from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m.

GUTFELD: What about the dogs?

PERINO: If you want to see great -- but you can go to the park and you can see all the fun that the dogs are having and have a nice walk around.

GUILFOYLE: And then you can wish you were a dog.

PERINO: Nobody else is -- that's not going to be in a guidebook. OK? You can come to me for the real stuff.

GUTFELD: What I would advise first-time tourists to do, hail a New York City cab. And then get in, go to the airport and get the hell out of here. Go to someplace sunny. And someplace nice. Don't come to New York. It's overrated.


PERINO: I love it.

WATTERS: Mayor Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Yes. "One More Thing" is up next.


GUTFELD: It's time now for "One More Thing." I'll go first. "Watters' World" this weekend, 8 p.m. Check this line-up out. If you can see; it's that small. We have Kellyanne Conway, Anne Coulter, Diamond and Silk and the Party Bros on some breaking news about the L.A. City Council. You guys are not going to want to miss that.

GUILFOYLE: You just can't make it up.

WATTERS: Can't make that up. Juan Williams?

GUILFOYLE: Oh, just one "One More Thing"?

WATTERS: Yes, I respect -- I respect the producers when they say "One More Thing." I actually do "One More Thing."

GUILFOYLE: You're so low-maintenance.

GUTFELD: You guys are so slow.

WILLIAMS: That's very good of you.

WATTERS: Thanks.

WILLIAMS: All right. Talk about a hail Mary. You know I love sports. Well, here's the headmaster of a Catholic school, dressed in his cassock, about to perform a basketball miracle. Take a look.


GUILFOYLE: My God, that's so awesome.

WILLIAMS: Look at this, he gets on his knees. I'm telling you, I think a lot of NBA players would be pointing to the heavens after that shot. The video gone viral. Game over. Three points for the headmaster.

GUILFOYLE: I think that's so cool.

GUTFELD: Nice shot. The Knicks need to sign him. All right. Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: That was a very good one. I like it a lot.

So I have a very sweet "One More Thing" about a very special little girl. Her name is Charlotte. She's 9 years old. And she has a big heart and a lot of talent.

She has started her own company called "Stitches by Charlotte," and she creates customized dolls for children undergoing medical procedures and surgeries. And her inspiration came from her own experiences, because she had to go four different surgeries to correct a cleft lip and palate. She has on-line crowd funding, and it's already raised about $50,000. She's very grateful for everything, because it means she can bring more smiles and comfort to young patients when they need it most, going through these procedures.

So God bless her. I think it's very, very sweet what she's doing. Charlotte Gold is her name.

WATTERS: OK, speaking of dolls, Dana?

PERINO: How nice! And Charlotte Gold was actually on "The Daily Briefing" and I had a picture that was done by FiveFanPhotoshop today, marking the 100th episode of that 2 p.m. show, "The Daily Briefing." That happened three hours ago.

WATTERS: Congratulations.

PERINO: Thank you. I mean--

GUTFELD: Just three months.

PERINO: It's not really that big a deal.

GUTFELD: Three months and one week.

WILLIAMS: She's doing good.

GUTFELD: I don't care anymore!


GUTFELD: Your opinions mean nothing to me.

WILLIAMS: Thank you.

WATTERS: And for two more things--

GUTFELD: No, no, go ahead, I'm sorry.

PERINO: That's all I had.

WATTERS: She just had one.

GUTFELD: I only have one "One More Thing," and I've 90 seconds.

GUILFOYLE: You know why? Because you've been shamed into behaving, as well.

GUTFELD: I'm going to do a very slow "One More Thing."

PERINO: We're just going to miss the news.

WILLIAMS: Just punish them.

GUTFELD: OK, "Greg Gutfeld Show," tomorrow night, 10 p.m. We've got Lieutenant Colonel Alan West.


GUTFELD: He's always entertaining. We've federalist Bre Payton. Kat Timpf and Tyrus. We're going to talk about CPAC. It's going to be very exciting. Then we're going to talk about guns and this latest news about the police officers, which is spreading around, and other stuff, too.

WATTERS: So you actually only have one?

GUILFOYLE: Yes, because he's--

WATTERS: There's something else. What else?

GUTFELD: You want to do another Facebook question?

PERINO: Can I just say something, though, about your twofers?


PERINO: You do them fast. It's true. And also, people love the little animal videos and things like that. So I think you can keep doing those.

GUTFELD: I'm not doing anything anymore.

GUILFOYLE: Greg is very special.

GUTFELD: I'm going to -- I'm just going to go to my room and listen to my albums.

GUILFOYLE: Whatever he wants.

WATTERS: Do less. Do less, Greg.

GUTFELD: Journal. Journal.

WILLIAMS: They hurt your feelings.

GUILFOYLE: But Juan has an eight-part "One More Thing."

WILLIAMS: No, I know. Oh, yes, right.

GUTFELD: The one who needs to do less is Juan.

WILLIAMS: That's it.

WATTERS: OK. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five." Have a great weekend, everybody. "Special Report" up next. Bret Baier, there he is.


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