He came. He screamed. He soiled his diapers. Then he left. It's a sad day for America: Keith Olbermann says goodbye.
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KEITH OLBERMANN, JOURNALIST: I am retiring from political commentary in all media venues. Thank you for all the kind words and all the support.
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I don't recall anyone giving kind words or support. We just observed his tantrums, which embarrassed those who indulged him. No matter, he's broken. More roadkill from the Trump reign.
But we must admit all of these casualties, from Keith to Kathy Griffin to that "Will and Grace" has-been, what's her face, anyway, they're all self-inflicted. Trump isn't breaking them. They're breaking themselves. As they fret over the Trump apocalypse, they go home to more comfort than ever, spending more money on therapists than their grandparents spent on rent.
So many people unnerved by Trump are oblivious to the real world problems. Meanwhile, Trump treats that a fake news trophy be given to the network that distorts coverage of your favorite president, which he adds, in parentheses "me." And there it is in one winking joke.
The reason why Olbie and his ilk are so down: Trump is having fun and they're not. The warfare is finally reversed. That one word, "me," encapsulates the weapon in two letters, which stabs into the hurt of the modern, humorless liberal. They used to have fun. Not anymore. Now they're old and frail, forced into retirement by their own bitterness. Who knew that laughter would kill the left? And so, a fond look back. Cue the somber music.
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GRAPHIC: In Memoriam: "The Resistance with Keith Olbermann," 2016-2017
OLBERMANN: You're beholden to scum, Russian scum.
You must atone, not merely because the man you support is a pig and you must now do what is right.
For many, Donald Trump assuming the office of president reduces the chance that will have any future elections.
Have fun storming the castle. My work here is done.
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Very sad. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the research for the prevention of irrational outrage.