This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 22, 2017. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
DANA PERINO, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Brian Kilmeade and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5:00 in New York City, and this is The Five. Hillary Clinton avoided the conservative media during her failed presidential campaign, but she just went on conservative radio to open up about what happened and took some new shots at President Trump.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I don't have any personal stake in this presidency. I have a citizen's stake. I am, as you might guess, very much worried by the actions and rhetoric of our current president. I've been very disappointed in the way that he has conducted himself.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: She went on to suggest that Hugh Hewitt, that racism in America has become more politically acceptable in the Trump era.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CLINTON: I think there has proven to be more white supremacists and white nationalist than I wish there were in our country, as we saw tragically in Charlottesville and other places. And they have made common cause with the president's agenda out of their own mouths that he is someone that they are counting on to promote it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: All right, Greg, it's your lucky day. We start another show with Hillary Clinton.
GREG GUTFELD, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: I can't get enough of her. Also -- conservative radio used to go after liberals. Not anymore. You notice that?
BRIAN KILMEADE, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Well, they don't go on.
KILMEADE: That's what makes this news. For her to go on with Hugh Hewitt is outstanding.
GUTFELD: But, you know what? It's identity-driven politics that were created -- helped created by her cynical campaign that led to a lot of divisiveness. But she's swimming in what's called the big pool of fallacy. Trump will have some creepy fans because when you have a lot of fans, some of them are bound to be creepy. The bigger the pool, the more likely there might be a creep in that pool. However, you have to be cognizes if you're the lifeguard, should you say something? And I think one of the flaws with Donald Trump, it's a salesman's flaw. You never want just turned down a sale.
It's actually not -- it's not a moral choice. It's not a correct choice, but it's a part of thinking that the money is green, so you never turn down a sale. You never know. You never condemn anyone until somebody else comes along. So there is a glimmer of truth here. But the other issue here is that the Democrats have a problem. Remember how they made Al Gore the president of global warming because they couldn't make him president. So they gave him something to keep him busy.
PERINO: They gave him a cause.
GUTFELD: They gave him a cause so he couldn't hurt anybody. They've got to make a president or something, like the angry book club so that she go off and does something. Or she could be Bill Clinton's own defense attorney when those cases come up. She could interrogate Juanita Broaddrick. How good would that be?
PERINO: If they hadn't had to close the Clinton global initiative, she could be doing that, but, of course, that's not available to her. Did you try to get Hillary Clinton on your radio show?
KILMEADE: No, not that I know of.
PERINO: You've said she's not coming on.
KILMEADE: Well, I didn't think she was going to come on. I know we're asking on Fox & Friends on a regular basis, it never happened. She had no interest when she was trying to be president of the United States on coming on. It's the biggest mistake that both Al Gore, John Kerry, who came on as secretary of state, and Hillary Clinton did make. Because if you come on, and Juan, as you know, if you went on you solve some of your best segments were on with people, and this show in particular, who disagree with you because you win people over and some of you don't, but at least you go in there and you'll get your hands dirty.
And she in this interview said, Uranium One, that's still going on, and still everyone proves it didn't exist. Well, there's a problem with that. That story is moving. And she goes on the problems with my emails they made it the number one story. It shouldn't have been. Well, the problem is, there was a lot there, but you didn't go in and attack it. You know what she did, admitted it in this interview. I didn't even listen, nor did her staff. How do you know how to fight an uphill battle and win over independence if you don't know the other side even doing?
WILLIAMS: Well, I think this is a real shortcoming for Democrats. I mean, you know, imagine the kind of flak I get being on Fox. But, they don't have a sense of the ability to come here and use this as a forum to influence people. So I think that's why it's great that she went on Hugh Hewitt show. And I think it's very important that you have sufficient respect for people, even if you disagree with them, to talk with them.
PERINO: I'd love to have her on The Daily Briefing, in case you're watching, Hillary. But if you come on to a place where you're not necessarily going to be guaranteed a warm reception, and you're pleasant and you try to make a couple of good points, the viewer will say that is good. Like that was nice. She was kind. She was fine, whatever. And it's not a total train wreaked.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: No. I mean, you know, appreciate the upside there. If you believe in yourself and your confident in what you have to offer that you're a great candidate, and you have ideas that are compelling that would resonate with the American people, then why wouldn't she take a chance and get in the ring and go into a forum where you might be able to reach some of those crossover, or swing voters, or people -- independent that -- you know what I think? I feel more certain going with somebody like her. It could happen. The point is she didn't take that chance. And you would think, Brian, to your point, that other people made this same mistake, that they would learn. How many high paid consultants and experts does it take to figure it out when you have eyeballs and the reach of a network like the Fox News Channel and FBN, why wouldn't you take that opportunity? I don't get it.
PERINO: The one thing that really drives me crazy is that, and this would be true, if a conservative went on MSNBC and then complained on -- during the interview. Like, well, I know what network I'm on. She did that a few years ago and I've never forgotten it.
KILMEADE: She used to go on when she was going against President Obama. And one of the things in the break she said is thank God for Fox, because we were the only one asking President Obama, when he was Senator Obama, legitimate questions. And we allowed -- it was one of the most.
GUTFELD: She hated Obama. She hated.
WILLIAMS: Well, I don't know about that, but she did -- remember, she was his rival for the nomination.
GUTFELD: And Bill hates him too.
WILLIAMS: Right. But I will say that what you got is a situation where she said, you know, this week that when Bill Clinton was running, if there had been a Fox News, that he wouldn't have been able to win because Fox News is so partisan. And I think I've heard from Obama the same thing, that Fox News just -- him, just attack him and stops.
KILMEADE: He won though, twice.
WILLIAMS: Well, I'm saying about the legislative agenda. That Fox News just makes him into this ogre, right? But at the same time, the reality is, if you're not talking to people, this goes back to your business about the salesman, then you're not selling. You're not out there making the pitch. They may feel unfairly attacked, but then show some goals, show up.
PERINO: She did make a comment about president Obama. In fact, we've played that one here.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CLINTON: It is true that when you run to succeed a two-term president of your own party, you have a historical headwind blowing against you. And I refer to that in the book because it's not just this campaign can be set apart from everything that's ever happened in our politics. It is a challenge.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KILMEADE: Do you know what the problem is with this?
KILMEADE: Permission to speak, Dana, I'm sorry.
PERINO: Yes, go ahead. It's a free-for-all.
KILMEADE: She says it's hard to run as an agent of change when you come following someone like President Obama from your party. You know what you have to do? You have to say I, President Obama -- but this is what I would have done differently. I would do the economy differently. (INAUDIBLE) regulations I would said.
KILMEADE: When it comes to Syria, I would have done something different. In fact, I have a memo here that says on this date I recommended we started bombing, it would have prevented.
PERINO: She did that in 2008 when she had to distance herself from Bill Clinton. And also, McCain had to separate from George W. Bush. Like that always happens. So what do you think will happen next time? Because the Democrats -- is still have her out there wanting to create a legacy.
GUTFELD: They've got to send her somewhere. They've got to send her somewhere.
PERINO: Did you see in the interview she said no one that is thinking about running in 2020 has reached out to her.
GUTFELD: I know. And also, she also said that she doesn't think she could be friends with Donald Trump anymore. I guess she didn't mind his behavior when he was a Democrat or on the correct side of politics.
PERINO: Giving your money.
GUTFELD: Like her husband, who I think he could be friends with -- or Harvey Weinstein. She could be friends with him. And she could be friends to, on a far lesser extent, with Al Franken. Who, by the way, no one has yet to follow up on. Go on YouTube and Google Al Franken, Howard Stern, 1999, please.
WILLIAMS: No to Trump.
GUTFELD: There is an interview there waiting to be discovered.
GUILFOYLE: But see the difference? With President Trump they were all over, but they're not doing it with al Franken.
WILLIAMS: Let's go back for a second to Hillary's interview with Hugh
WILLIAMS: Because I think there're two things that were interesting to me. One is she says, guess what, the child health care insurance program that Trump is just letting it linger and die.
PERINO: But congress is supposed to take that up before December.
WILLIAMS: But he, as the president, has some authority here, some voice, and he has said nothing in support of a program that will lead people, as she said, kids with diabetes and other illnesses to suffer. I think that's wrong. Second thing, Trump this very day retweets something that says Hillary is a corrupt blank. What is wrong with him?
GUTFELD: That's what he does. We've accepted this. What about Paul Manafort's house arrest?
PERINO: That what I wanted to get to. We only have a minute left.
GUTFELD: Well, I'll say it real quick. He's under house arrest, which, by the way, everybody should want to be under house arrest. It's an excuse to not go to somebody's piano recital.
PERINO: It's your dream.
GUTFELD: And also, the real punishment is he's not allowed to drink during it.
PERINO: Well, I don't know if he's not allowed -- no, I think that because he's getting a limited release from house arrest to travel on the condition.
GUTFELD: He doesn't drink.
PERINO: That he doesn't drink.
GUTFELD: Wow. I'll take house arrest.
WILLIAMS: Can he smoke?
PERINO: Can he smoke? I might take up smoking if I had to do that.
WILLIAMS: No, not you.
GUILFOYLE: Absolutely not. Take it back.
PERINO: All right.
GUTFELD: She didn't say what she was smoking. It could some kind of like herbal cigarette, cloves. Those were big back in the day.
PERINO: We have a lot more to come.
GUTFELD: We've canceled the show.
PERINO: No, we're going to keep going because there's dramatic tape of a North Korean soldier desperate escape for freedom from his oppressive regime. Does he make it? Next.
GUILFOYLE: This week, President Trump put North Korea back on the list of state sponsors of terror. Kim Jong-un is unhappy about it. The north calling it a serious provocation that justifies its need for nukes. The country is so oppressive, its own people don't want to live there. We want to show you some dramatic new video just released by the United Nations. We must warn you that it is disturbing. Last week, a North Korean soldier risked it all to escape from his country. He defected by trying to cross the heavily armed border with the south. When his comrades caught wind, they opened fire. He was hit several times and collapsed on the South Korean side. And what an amazing sight it was to see troops from the south pull him to safety. That soldier has thankfully regained consciousness after surgery, and is now reportedly enjoying American TV shows and movies in the hospital, and South Korean pop songs. What a story.
GUTFELD: I actually tuned this in. I watched this on MSNBC and they played the tape backwards and claimed the South Korean guy was trying to escape to North Korea.
KILMEADE: Yeah, absolutely.
GUTFELD: This is such a good tape to see before Thanksgiving because everybody should be thankful they don't live in a country where people are dying to get out and aren't allowed to get out. I mean, this is a history lesson about tyranny. We talk about -- this poor guy was operated on and they found a parasitic worm the size of like a human arm in his stomach, which is an apt metaphor.
KILMEADE: It is not rare, by the way, for North Korea.
GUTFELD: Because they're eating -- the food that they eat is being raised in feces -- it is an apt metaphor for tyranny. It destroys from within. It shows you how unfair life is that if you're born here, you're going to make it.
KILMEADE: You hit lotto.
GUTFELD: If you're born there, you're screwed. We have to remember that whenever we're speaking about people coming here, that they deserve a chance to come here. Whether you think it's -- we have to deal with national security and vetting, but we're lucky.
KILMEADE: So what you're saying is we should be looser on immigration and just do it the right way? Is that what you're saying?
GUTFELD: I'm saying that we should do extreme vetting, but do not demonize people that are legitimately trying to escape horrible conditions.
KILMEADE: We've got plenty of room.
KILMEADE: Is what you're saying.
GUTFELD: Especially at your place in Long Island. You've got like 13 bedrooms.
GUILFOYLE: It's very spacious.
KILMEADE: you know they tell me I look at the diagram sometimes they get lost it so big. By the way, he has pneumonia, hepatitis b, and they say when they open him up he has blood poisoning. Even though he's watching television, they're not sure he's out of the woods yet.
GUILFOYLE: No. But can you imagine that is part of the problem there, beside this despicable regime that they don't get proper medical care. I mean, literally, he's running, getting shot -- saved his life because look at all the medical conditions that he had. And the fact that he wouldn't to get any.
GUTFELD: Getting shot saved his life.
GUILFOYLE: That's what I'm saying.
PERINO: He might have known that he was dying.
GUILFOYLE: That's what I'm wondering.
PERINO: And I hope we get a lot of intelligence from him, to the extent that he knew -- anything that he could from the military.
WILLIAMS: Well, he's only 24 years old. So he's not a high-ranking guy.
PERINO: Freedom is universal. The desire to be free is something that every human is born with. And so, to the extent that we can help them get to a better place, we should.
WILLIAMS: Yeah. I was just thinking though that, you know, and reading about this story, not only is he a young guy who made this tremendous effort, but it is said last time a soldier has escape from North Korea, ten years ago in '07, and that annually about 1,000 North Koreans flee the country. So they'll do anything to get out. Now the problem is most of them go through China. And guess what, one of the requests that people have right now is that China stop sending North Koreans back. But the Chinese are worried that if they don't send them back then there'll be a flood of refugees. And this gets back to what you were saying. These people deserve the opportunity. You believe in Democratic principles. If you believe in human rights, how can you turn your back?
PERINO: Are you a neocon now?
WILLIAMS: Neocon? Shouldn't I believe in human rights?
PERINO: Well, you said you have an obligation to do something. What should we do?
WILLIAMS: Maybe Donald Trump should have mentioned this when he was over there. He didn't say a word about human right.
GUILFOYLE: Neo-Juan. Neo-Juan.
KILMEADE: Here's the thing. With North Korea, and I believe we've said this on the break, I've always felt this, the biggest underreported story when we talk about North Korea is how horrible the conditions are for the North Koreans themselves. When we finally take the lid off that country, hopefully in this generation, we're going to say, what did we allow to happen? This is an ongoing holocaust with nobody getting fat except for the fat leader.
WILLIAMS: Do you think it is us or the Chinese? I think it's the Chinese.
KILMEADE: Doing what?
WILLIAMS: Just keep a lid on it because they don't want to deal with it, and they especially don't want a reunified North Korea. They don't want north and south together.
KILMEADE: Right. I don't think they have great relations with North Koreans, but they have the best that there is right now, but I do think that there's an opportunity with the rest of the world. Believe it or now, he did not alienate anybody on this trip. I've read other accounts. I can't read Japanese like Greg, and I can't read Korean like Dana, but I was able to read the translation.
GUTFELD: Be better in English.
KILMEADE: Right. Let's be honest. So, you know, English overrated, very complicated, it's hard, especially with that contractions it kinds of throw me off. But when you look at the reviews and the relations that he built in that region you see that we're making progress. This vice is froing on this country. This is the first time we have a legitimate shot to make a change.
WILLIAMS: Why are you saying that?
GUTFELD: Because China is actually playing ball.
GUTFELD: They're sending an envoy. Who knows what's going.
PERINO: Because he has nuclear weapons. There is no other option.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, exactly. I mean, and this guy has been firing off missiles at a greater rate than any other president before.
GUILFOYLE: Little rocket man.
WILLIAMS: But now he says they're a terrorist state. That's the news today, right? OK, they're a terrorist state. What is that allow? It allows us to impose more sanctions. Hey, where are the Russians? You know, hats off.
KILMEADE: They had a 90 minute talk yesterday.
WILLIAMS: Well, I'm just saying if he's Putin's pal, get Putin to say, hey.
GUTFELD: Now you want them to talk?
WILLIAMS: Yes, I do, if it's going to help the United States.
WILLIAMS: If Putin would stop -- if replacing the losses from the Chinese sanctions, maybe there would be more effect on them.
KILMEADE: Maybe that happened yesterday.
WILLIAMS: Well, let's hope.
KILMEADE: I have not seen that. They said they did talk about North Korea, but I think the president is smart enough to know I have to surround -- shut this circle off.
WILLIAMS: Maybe we should say hats off to Rex Tillerson. You know what, Mr. President, I know how sensitive you are, thank you.
GUTFELD: I don't think you're being serious.
GUILFOYLE: Really lacks some sincerity. Try it again, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Try it again? If you coach me, I'll do it. Greg, what do you want me to do? How should I do it?
GUILFOYLE: Thank you, Mr. President.
WILLIAMS: Oh, wait a minute.
WILLIAMS: Holy smokes.
GUILFOYLE: That was sincere.
WILLIAMS: I'll do it without the touch. Because you have a unique touch. Thank you -- how about this? Thank you. Thank you, sir.
GUILFOYLE: All right. I think that will work for me. Coming up, anti-Trump comedian Sarah Silverman has had a revelation about all of you so-called deplorables out there. Greg is going to fill you in next.
GUTFELD: Great news. She likes you. She really likes you. She, being the leftie comic, Sarah Silverman, and you evil Trump voters. Yes, after so much hate and bile, she finally realized you people aren't so bad. In fact, you might even be people. I guess she'll let you live. In a new show, Sarah travels the country interviewing groups who don't live near Whole Foods. It's like wild kingdom for gender studies majors. And now she claims after meeting so many Trump voters, she likes them. She loves them. Yes, what a surprise. You can feel comfortable around people who you don't agree with. So this is progress for a progressive, especially one who called for a military overthrow of Trump, a coup, while actual riots were going on. Imagine if anyone had listened.
So this is a big step. For a progressive, the personal is always political, where the right isn't just wrong but evil. So good for Sarah for deciding that you're OK. You've met the approval of someone paid to talk to you. She appreciates you the way a cat appreciates yarn. Would her new enlightenment hold? I don't know. I remember how Sarah ridiculed Andrew Breitbart, not to his face, but when she took his seat after he left the set on Bill Maher's show.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: How are you?
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's sticky here.
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, there was.
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: In general.
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Yeah, right. You're not just saying the conservatives.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yeah, that was classy. She was nice to him in the green room, but then did that when he's not around. But it proves her point. It's easy to be a jerk to someone when they're not there. Wrapped in a cocoon of confirmation bias, it's easy to hate millions of people, and over time for them to hate you back. But I hope that Sarah's changed. Truly. Anything would be an improvement. I'm going to be positive about this, Kimberly. I think that maybe.
GUILFOYLE: Positive is OK.
GUTFELD: No. Maybe she's woke, as the left says. But she realized that just because you have a disagreement, it doesn't make them evil.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Well, this is why people have to have an open mind and actually listen to others in their viewpoints and try to understand and find common ground instead of being discriminating and having biases against other individuals that you're not even taking the time to listen to. So, I mean, I don't know. Hope springs eternal. Who knows? But at least -- maybe it's an example to some people that they might want to reconsider, just like all the people that were horrific, you know, to the women that accused Bill Clinton that are now coming out and say, oh, wait a second, we want to apologize for that. We were wrong with what we did.
GUTFELD: You know, Dana, we were going to show a clip of this, but we weren't allowed -- we weren't able to get approval.
PERINO: From Hulu?
GUTFELD: No. From -- I don't know who.
KILMEADE: Silverman Inc.
GUTFELD: Vulture. I think it's called Vulture. I don't know what that means. Anyway, do you think she's sincere or she's just doing her job?
PERINO: I read a feature story about her several months ago as she got this series underway. She talked about what she hoped to achieve. And it's really not -- it isn't that easy to publicly admit that you were wrong.
PERINO: Or that you have some work to do, or that you have to go out. So perhaps it is sincere. But I also think she's supposedly a comedian. So one of the best ways to have a relationship with people that maybe you don't agree with is through humor.
PERINO: And just laugh about it. Politics is really not that important.
GUTFELD: It shouldn't be. Actually, that's a great point.
PERINO: Thank you.
KILMEADE: You seem surprised.
GUTFELD: I am surprised.
GUTFELD: She made good points in the earlier show, the show with her name on it. We get the leftovers. We get the turkey sandwiches. We don't get the turkey.
KILMEADE: I know the feeling.
GUTFELD: Brian, the point is, if politics takes a large part of your life and you can be very angry, you have a lot of hobbies. So you play soccer with kids. You coach. Fox & Friends is only a tiny part of your life.
KILMEADE: Do I have to agree with your premise? I don't even like -- did you even ask a question? First off, a disclaimer: he knows nothing about me. When he sees me in the green room, he walks the other way.
GUILFOYLE: Did you hear what he said about your hair machine in your office the other night? It was, like, nuts.
KILMEADE: I did not know that until now. I've got to get that DVR adjusted.
GUTFELD: I get all my information from Doocy.
PERINO: Thanks for watching, though. That's twice.
KILMEADE: That's good. By the way, I've got to go to Blockbuster and get the episode, which day it was. It will be fantastic.
By the way, she goes on to say in this story, where she says, "We haven't changed each other's minds, but I like these Trump people." I think it's a business decision.
When asked about Trump, "We're waiting for him to hit bottom. There is no bottom. He doesn't understand what happiness is. If he isn't ruining people's lives and destroying the planet, my heart would break for him. He's a damaged, damaged person."
I don't see much conversion here or much open-mindedness.
GUTFELD: But I like you. I like the people that voted for you.
GUILFOYLE: He is far happier than she has any idea. He's very happy.
KILMEADE: He doesn't have a care in the world.
GUILFOYLE: He has a good time. He has a nice family, lots of grandkids.
GUTFELD: Here's my cynical observation. She called for a military overthrow of Donald Trump, and I think she's seeing that her career is kind of, like, going down. And she realizes maybe alienating half of the country is a bad idea.
WILLIAMS: Wow, I didn't get that at all. In fact, I think she's been around in recent days promoting this new show...
WILLIAMS: ... and having some success promoting it. I don't know how well the show does, but no, I don't have that impression.
This is more like Thanksgiving dinner to me.
WILLIAMS: This is like oh, you know, so Uncle Joe walks in with the "Make America Great Again" hat.
WILLIAMS: And so am I supposed to, like, just be mocking? Should I be like, you know, oh, I can't stand this guy or whatever? And then it turns out, hey, Joe is a pretty good guy.
WILLIAMS: We just have some serious political disagreements.
And let me tell you, I think you can have serious political fear even of Donald Trump and his presidency, but the idea that you would talk -- this is what we were discussing earlier. This is a good thing.
GUTFELD: I think it's a good thing. But I -- it's a good thing when you're not paid to do it. And it's like, so now she's doing it because she's got a salary. And she wouldn't have done this before.
KILMEADE: She sees Kathy Griffin, and Kathy Griffin is -- was one of the hottest comedians around. And now she has -- she's so angry.
GUILFOYLE: She shaved her head.
KILMEADE: She can't get on CNN. She's yelling at Andy Cohen.
GUTFELD: But the funny thing is, she's claiming Hollywood is blacklisting her over Trump. Excuse me? Hollywood hates Trump. I mean...
KILMEADE: Exactly. How does that make sense, Greg?
GUTFELD: It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make -- I think she's just whining, because -- what, was she on Bravo?
GUTFELD: She wasn't, like, the biggest comedian. She was a train wreck.
WILLIAMS: By the way -- by the way, you know, she was doing this tour with Frank Rich. He used to write...
WILLIAMS: ... for The Times and write for New York Magazine. So it's not as if Frank Rich -- I don't think Frank Rich is a Trump fan.
KILMEADE: Hates him.
WILLIAMS: Right. So my impression is this was her speaking from the heart, and I would think that, from your perspective, I know you're glad to have Hillary around.
GUTFELD: I love her.
KILMEADE: Glad to have -- glad to play identity politics, grievance politics resentment. But I mean, goodness gracious, give the lady some credit.
GUILFOYLE: Give who credit?
GUTFELD: She's one of three people that blocked me on Twitter.
GUTFELD: Alec Baldwin, Keith Olbermann and Sarah Silverman blocked me on Twitter. That is like having three little medals. Little medals.
GUILFOYLE: Look at how excited you are.
KILMEADE: But I do think it's going to boomerang. I think people -- the anti-Trump stuff is getting so staid.
KILMEADE: I look for things to change. When you invite me back next year at this time, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we're going to talk about
how people are taking on the Democratic Party on stage.
WILLIAMS: Oh, yes? Or is that after we discuss impeachment?
GUTFELD: "South Park" -- "South Park" does not do any bashing on Trump, because they say it's so predictable and hackneyed.
All right. He managed to hold his fire for more than 24 hours, but President Trump let loose today on the dad who refuses to thank him. That's next.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LAVAR BALL, FATHER OF LIANGELO BALL, FREED FROM CHINESE PRISON: Maybe we was doing some talking with some other people before he even got there. I've got doubts of what he did do. How's that? If I was going to thank somebody, I would probably thank President Xi.
CUOMO: Somebody did something for you, you say thank you.
BALL: I would have said "thank you" if he would have put them on his plane and took them home.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: That's just...
WILLIAMS: As you can imagine, those comments did not go over very well with President Trump. He was fired up this morning on Twitter, aiming his fire at LaVar Ball for dismissing his pivotal role in helping to bring his son and two others home from China. They were caught shoplifting.
The president writes, quote, "It wasn't the White House, it wasn't the State Department, it wasn't father LaVar's so-called people on the ground in China that got his son out of a long term prison sentence - IT WAS ME."
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
WILLIAMS: "Too bad! LaVar is just a poor man's version of Don King" -- oh, my goodness -- "but without the hair. Just think LaVar, you could have spent the next 5 to 10 years during Thanksgiving with your son in China" -- did I say that right? I want to do the Trump sounding...
WILLIAMS: "... but no NBA contract to support you. But remember LaVar" -- is this a book? What am I reading? -- "shoplifting is not a little thing."
KILMEADE: Two hundred and eighty characters.
WILLIAMS: It's what?
KILMEADE: Two hundred and eighty characters.
WILLIAMS: OK. Oh, that's right. Yes, Dana's been complaining.
"It's a really big deal, especially in China. Ungrateful fool!"
Oh, my gosh.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. That was a lot of dramatic acting.
WILLIAMS: That's my interpretation. So let me ask you something.
GUTFELD: That's the best you've ever sounded.
WILLIAMS: Thank you, sir. But Dana...
GUILFOYLE: And you had fun. Do you know what it's like -- happy.
GUTFELD: It makes you happy. You enjoy this.
GUILFOYLE: You love being Trump.
GUILFOYLE: We all saw it.
GUTFELD: You and Sarah Silverman (ph).
PERINO: It is fun to read his tweets out loud. It just is.
WILLIAMS: But it's so ridiculous that this is the president.
GUILFOYLE: No, it's not.
GUTFELD: You can't use that argument anymore. The bar isn't lowered. The bar is gone.
Even Shakespeare knew that not every play had to be a tragedy. And that's the way the White House is now. The White House can actually be fun. Politics can be fun, the president can be fun.
By the way, the only thing -- the big point here is when we look at historical artifacts of the past like letters written by Washington or letters written by Lincoln or Martin Luther King, no more. We're not going to have that anymore.
GUTFELD: Everything is going to be up on Twitter. There's going to be no parchment paper with stuff. Every thought and every feeling, every attack is going to be highly readable. It's going to be immortal and worthless.
WILLIAMS: Excuse me. You mean like the Gettysburg Address? And this stuff...
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, Twitter replaces that. You don't need it anymore.
GUTFELD: Just a Twitter address.
KILMEADE: Juan asked Dana to talk.
GUTFELD: Yes, but his point was so mundane that I haven't...
KILMEADE: Are you still talking?
WILLIAMS: Can't stop. Let -- let the lady have the floor.
GUTFELD: That's sexist. "Let the lady have the floor"? This isn't a dance club.
WILLIAMS: All right, all right.
PERINO: Let me have the -- let me have the chair.
GUTFELD: Let the gender-neutral individual -- gender-neutral individual...
WILLIAMS: I think he's playing Trump.
GUILFOYLE: He loves -- he loves talking about Trump. He loves it. He loves when Trump does...
WILLIAMS: All right.
PERINO: OK, I don't like the 280 characters. I thought he had a better rhythm at 140. Like, a self-imposed discipline on that.
PERINO: Even if it's three tweets. I thought those were much more fun to read.
I also feel like, for as much as President Trump is entertaining his base, LaVar Ball is doing the same.
PERINO: Everyone has an audience here, and so it's like the -- it is like
the reality show. Because I can't wait to tune in tomorrow to see what's going to happen.
PERINO: But what would really get President Trump going might be if LaVar Ball thanked Hillary Clinton for some reason.
PERINO: And then we can keep it going.
GUILFOYLE: You're giving ideas.
KILMEADE: I have -- I have two thoughts on this. You have to watch the entire interview. I think he was putting Cuomo on.
GUTFELD: Of course, definitely.
KILMEADE: People say, "Oh, he's crazy, he's unhinged, he's not real." He went on there. He -- he twisted the thing. He put it on its head. He was Donald Trump.
KILMEADE: And I've got to give Mark Cuban credit.
GUILFOYLE: We said that yesterday.
KILMEADE: Mark Cuban said Donald Trump and LaVar Ball are really the same.
GUTFELD: I said that on "The Five" yesterday. Cuban took it from me.
KILMEADE: In reality, if the president didn't -- no one was pressuring the president to deal for these basketball players. But had he not, they might be in the same slot as that Ball State football player that's been in jail for 13 months for a bar fight in China, who cannot get anyone's attention. His family...
GUTFELD: What's his name?
KILMEADE: ... is putting -- his family -- I have it right here.
GUILFOYLE: Well, why didn't he get him out, too?
PERINO: He should have.
KILMEADE: His name is Wendell Brown. And his family says, "Mr. President, we will thank you every day if you can get my son out."
WILLIAMS: Well, that's real.
GUTFELD: We've got to get Wendell Brown.
GUILFOYLE: President Trump, get Wendell Brown out. Please.
PERINO: Free Wendell Brown. Free Wendell Brown.
GUILFOYLE: Free Wendell Brown. Free Wendell Brown.
KILMEADE: He might be watching.
WILLIAMS: Certainly. Well, he certainly watches "FOX & Friends."
GUILFOYLE: Because you're here. "FOX & Friends."
KILMEADE: Yes. Wendell Brown.
WILLIAMS: What about this -- what about LaVar as Don King?
GUILFOYLE: Yes, that's pretty funny.
WILLIAMS: Oh, you think it's funny? OK.
GUILFOYLE: I mean, he said Don King without the hair.
PERINO: I thought he liked him.
KILMEADE: Yes, Don King's a friend of his.
GUILFOYLE: He does. That's why..
WILLIAMS: Don King's a Republican.
GUILFOYLE: Don King is his friend. Don King supported him and showed up at his -- so his was trying to -- this guy thinks he's, you know, funny.
KILMEADE: So you think it's over?
GUILFOYLE: ... original.
WILLIAMS: No, no. It's too good. We just did a whole segment.
GUILFOYLE: It's never over.
PERINO: We've done it two days in a row on this show. It's not over.
KILMEADE: It's your serve, Mr. Ball.
GUTFELD: But you know, what point, what Trump is saying, he recognizes that Ball is a showman in progress. When he said "a poor man's Don King", he was basically saying, "I know what you're doing."
PERINO: "I can help you."
GUTFELD: "I can help you. I see where you're going." Because a lot of people call me a poor man's Lou Dobbs.
GUTFELD: It's only a matter of time.
KILMEADE: Or they call you a poor man.
GUILFOYLE: Everybody says it.
PERINO: It's written in the bathroom.
KILMEADE: By the way, they took -- they didn't just take glasses. They took a lot of stuff, by the way. They could've ended up in a lot of trouble.
KILMEADE: They took a lot of paraphernalia.
GUILFOYLE: It's a serious thing. And he did do something wonderful. And, you know, LaVar Ball. Blah, blah, blah.
PERINO: And also, the president on the plane, when he gets asked about it on the flight home, he goes back to see the press, and there's that video. And the president is very restrained in talking about how bad the situation was. And I love -- it was at one point, where he said, "It wasn't good, OK?" He just leaves it at that, and everybody could have just left it at that. Instead, now we have to go over and over it again.
GUTFELD: It's fun.
PERINO: I'm having a great time talking about it. I'd rather talk about this than a lot of other things.
WILLIAMS: I had fun with that ridiculous tweet, but I must say, I think he has saw self-interest in making himself into the hero of getting the boys back. But now LaVar is trying to thwart that. That's why he's going after LaVar.
I don't know. To me, it just looks like two hucksters having a party.
Coming up, new greeting recommendations for children during this holiday season. Forget the hugging. How about the high five? We'll explain next.
KILMEADE: All right. How about a high five, Grandpa? The Girl Scouts of America have just issued a warning to parents not to force kids to hug their relatives on the holidays, specifically daughters. Now the group posting a reminder online that says, quote, "Girls don't owe hugs to anyone, not even family members." It suggests the alternatives might be a smile, an air kiss -- are you writing this down, Greg?
KILMEADE: An air kiss or whatever is most comfortable for them.
Kimberly, is this an important move?
GUILFOYLE: Give an air kiss? Be, like, phony or whatever. And try to -- I don't get this.
KILMEADE: Should you tell a 12-year-old to go hug a relative if they're not comfortable with it?
GUILFOYLE: Yes. Yes, absolutely. This is why I'm so happy that Dana and I chose to be Campfire Girls.
GUILFOYLE: They would never issue such a foolish, ridiculous statement as the Girl Scouts.
KILMEADE: Dana Perino, is this an evolving of our culture to realize we shouldn't just hug people just because they're technically related to us?
PERINO: I'm a hugger. I like to hug.
KILMEADE: You're a hugger?
PERINO: I am, and I think that it -- I think it's good. I'm just trying to remember, like, if you see your family once a year, and it was, like, maybe Christmas time. You get up to the ranch, and there's Uncle Joe. I actually did have an Uncle Joe. Like, I want to give Uncle Joe and Aunt Lina a hug.
PERINO: Of course. It's one moment.
GUILFOYLE: Isn't that...
KILMEADE: Even if his "Make America Great Again" hat falls off during that hug.
Juan, real quick, do you see this as evolving? People worried about 12- and 13-year-old girls may be in an uncomfortable situation.
WILLIAMS: Yes, and I would...
KILMEADE: You like this?
WILLIAMS: I don't like it because I have granddaughters and a daughter. And I...
KILMEADE: And you want to get a hug.
GUILFOYLE: Would you tell them not -- don't hug?
WILLIAMS: I would -- I'm very sensitive to the -- if a little kid said to me, "I'm not comfortable," I would say, "Why is that?" Because I think little kids want to hug you and give you a kiss.
GUILFOYLE: I think that's different.
WILLIAMS: No, I just...
GUILFOYLE: That's complaining about something that maybe has gone on a bit, you know.
WILLIAMS: Maybe. I don't know what's going on, but if the child is uncomfortable, I would...
PERINO: I would never force somebody.
WILLIAMS: I would -- I would listen to the child. Because if you look at the statistics, the people who are most likely to assault or attack that child...
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. Now it's gone off the rails.
KILMEADE: And they say one in nine -- one in nine females will have some type of unacceptable interactions with an adult.
Greg, finally, think about the adult's feelings. A little kid -- young girl does not want to hug the cousin from another state, because "I haven't seen them." They don't feel comfortable. What about the adults' feelings?
GUTFELD: Two things. One, I am for this. I hate hugging, especially kids when they're already taller than me. It's a reminder.
GUILFOYLE: Happens a lot.
GUTFELD: Yes, it happens way too often.
You know, this is actually -- to be -- serious point, we are entering this phase where there's this underlying agreement that all men are predators. We're seen -- no matter what. We're just all bad. And I think this is the consequence of that.
Of course, I doubt there will be any hugging at Uncle Franken's House. They'll be not hugging. And also Uncle Charlie's.
GUILFOYLE: And no sleeping. Keep your eyes open.
PERINO: And Uncle Roy, too.
KILMEADE: I will say this. For Italian families in Girl Scouts, it's a no-brainer. Italians have to hug. It's the law.
KILMEADE: They were born to hug. The Irish will welcome this. The Irish are not big emotional.
GUTFELD: That should be your memoir, "Born to Hug."
GUILFOYLE: I think the Irish are very warm.
KILMEADE: Not big huggers.
GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I hug people.
KILMEADE: "One More Thing" is next. On behalf of the Irish, we don't hug.
GUILFOYLE: We hug.
PERINO: It's time now for "One More Thing." And in a spirit of generosity, Brian, you get to go first.
KILMEADE: All right. So in the next two weeks, "Andrew Jackson: The Miracle of New Orleans" will go on the big screen. It will be on the Fox News Channel at 8 p.m. either this Sunday or next Sunday or the Sunday after. The third or tenth. And Andrew Jackson, as you know, had a big win. It was for America. It's a pro-history story. Here's a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KILMEADE: If this berm didn't work, there was another line and another line they'd have to go through before they get into New Orleans, but they never got past this one.
DAVID BRINKLEY, PRESIDENTIAL HISTORIAN: That's right.
This becomes a bloodbath here, the corpses. Now we're just looking at green grass. It was the beginning of the end of Britain and, in many ways, the birth of modern America.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KILMEADE: And that's the story of the battle. We fly a drone above it to give you an idea. "Andrew Jackson: Miracle of New Orleans."
PERINO: That looks great. Congratulations.
KILMEADE: Yes, it was a lot of fun.
KILMEADE: Ron Bredesen (ph) and Dave Brinkley did a great job.
GUTFELD: They're good photos.
GUILFOYLE: All right. So I have a fantastic little thing of puppy love. "Kimberly's Puppy Love Dating Tips," OK? So this is cute.
My friend Anisha has a dog Luigi who I absolutely love. He's super adorable. He's 6 years old, and he's got a lot of style. You see him there in his red cashmere sweater. And he's with a very famous Instagram dog, Sparkles the Diva. She's 7 years old. And she's a Shih-Tzu, and he's a Shit-Tzu, too, from Atlanta. So she has over 50,000 followers.
GUILFOYLE: And Luigi's doing very well, too. So they went on this date.
GUTFELD: That's creepy.
GUILFOYLE: Their moms arranged a date, and they went to the Gramercy Park Hotel, all dressed up. They had champagne.
GUTFELD: This is going to make my wife mad. They go on better dates.
GUILFOYLE: This is the point, Greg. And this is the point: that men in New York City could learn a lot from the puppy love here.
PERINO: Puppy love.
GUILFOYLE: No word yet...
GUTFELD: People in America are throwing up.
PERINO: All right.
GUILFOYLE: ... if there's going to be -- look at the Mercedes, too. I love it.
PERINO: Ready for this? It's been a while. What do I have?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Dana's Corny Joke of The Day.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: No. 1, why did the turkey cross the road?
GUILFOYLE: To get to the other side. That was a trick.
GUTFELD: To get the other sides.
PERINO: No, because it was Thanksgiving day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken.
GUILFOYLE: No, his was better.
GUTFELD: Mine was better. To get to the other sides. Thank you. Thank you.
GUILFOYLE: Excuse me, you improved on mine by adding an "S."
GUTFELD: Oh, please.
PERINO: That was pretty good. Because...
GUTFELD: You just thought it was the original joke.
PERINO: ... he wanted them to think he was a chicken.
OK. No. 2, what happened when the turkey got into a fight?
GUILFOYLE: Bok. Bok.
PERINO: The turkey got into a fight, what happened to him?
KILMEADE: No idea.
PERINO: He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
WILLIAMS: I like that.
PERINO: OK, Juan.
GUTFELD: You like the violence.
PERINO: All right. No. 3, the final one.
GUILFOYLE: Go ahead.
PERINO: What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I'm going to cashew.
GUILFOYLE: I knew! I was going to say "cashew."
GUTFELD: You didn't say it.
KILMEADE: You didn't say it.
GUILFOYLE: I thought it.
GUTFELD: Doesn't count, Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: God knows. God knows.
WILLIAMS: That's her best one, about the jalapeno.
GUTFELD: All right. It's time for my favorite segment.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Greg's Cow Brush News
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Not to be seen on CNN, because they can't handle the truth.
All right. Let's go to Switzerland, shall we? Hapsburg, to be exact-sburg. Brolina (ph) the dairy cow lives on a farm in Hapsburg. She doesn't even know, because she's a cow. She could be living anywhere, because she's a cow. They don't have big brains. But she loves nothing more than brushing her coat. Look at her.
PERINO: Feels good.
GUTFELD: And that's a coat brush installed at the Hapsburg farm. And her owner, Marina, could not have expected a happier cow. The reaction is mind-blowing. The footage goes on for 37 hours. Yes.
WILLIAMS: Let me get this straight. It's a car wash for cows?
GUTFELD: It's a brush for a cow.
PERINO: It's a brush. It's, like, to make them feel better. Like you know, like an automatic brush for the cow.
GUTFELD: For more cow brush news, wait.
WILLIAMS: All right.
PERINO: All right. Juan.
WILLIAMS: New York City getting dressed up for the holidays. It's beautiful. Sixth Avenue right now covered with barricades, even as we speak, because tomorrow -- for a very happy reason, all this -- the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
This year, new balloons will be floating through the skyscraper canyons of New York, including Olaf from "Frozen"...
WILLIAMS: The "Paw Patrol" and the Grinch. Not Gutfeld. The Grinch. Alongside returning stars like Spongebob and Hello Kitty.
The parade, by the way -- I didn't know this -- started in 1934, and it costs more than $13 million, estimated 3.5 million spectators in person. Fifty million will be watching at home.
KILMEADE: Is there Underdog? Is Underdog coming back?
WILLIAMS: Yes, I think he's back.
PERINO: They're telling me we've got to go. That's it for us. Tomorrow night, don't miss our Thanksgiving special. It's at 5 p.m. Eastern. It's a really fun show. We hope you will join us.
And here is something to whet your appetite. Thanks to FiveFanPhotoShop, we have a very happy Thanksgiving photo of the five of us having a fake dinner.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, how cute.
PERINO: "Special Report" is up next. Bret, take it away. Three...
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