This is a rush transcript from "The Five," July 4, 2016. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone, and happy birthday, America. I'm Eric Bolling along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."
Welcome to our Proud American Special. We've got a fun show in store for you this Independence Day. It's the 240th birthday of our great nation. We want to thank all the men and women serving in our armed forces along with our living vets and those who have died for our freedom. You make us all so very, very proud to be Americans. On that note, we'd like to share some more of our pride. Let's take you around the table. Who wants to start? Anyone want to start? Greg?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Yeah, OK. I want to say...
GUTFELD: Pride for me is not the right word because I wasn't responsible for the creation of this country. So I would rather say, these are the things that I appreciate and I admire about the country. For example, our plumbing system. If you go to any other country, you will know what I mean. Our lawns are amazing. You don't see lawns like that in China. Costco, you go to Costco, you can buy like a bumper for a car and a toothbrush in aisle 8. We have such great food in this country. It is such great food that even our bad food is better than food, the top cuisine in any other country. Our steaks, try to get a t-bone steak in England that's compared to Texas. Our innovations seamless, Fresh Direct, Uber, incredible innovations, our supermarkets, our Second Amendment, no one has a Second Amendment. We have a Second Amendment. We have guys killing terrorists all over the world. I appreciate that. Our highways are amazing. I have a lot of admiration and appreciation for so many things about America that my head will explode.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: I think it just did.
BOLLING: You forgot one.
BOLLING: Our robots.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God!
GUTFELD: Our robots are amazing.
GUILFOYLE: And patriotic.
GUTFELD: I support our robots.
GUILFOYLE: Our robots are better than their robots.
GUTFELD: That's all that matters.
BOLLING: When we're gone...
BOLLING: ... the planet's only robots.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: It's really hard to follow that.
BOLLING: Yeah, sorry.
PERINO: Because he had a lot. What I was thinking about today is liberty, and how special that is to be able to live your life however you see fit. And in most places around the world, that is not the case. Our founding fathers had such foresight as to set up a government, so that we could try to be the best country in the world, which we have been. And I think that will continue because their foresight from many years ago. And it is amazing, they were young then, relatively young men, but they put it all together. Juan knows that, he wrote a book about it. But I will say liberty, the ability to live freely. And I feel like we have a responsibility to help others in the world do the same.
GUILFOYLE: And there she is, Lady Liberty.
GUTFELD: Yes. An incredible likeness of the statue of liberty purchased for $3 right around the corner.
BOLLING: Our producers do not hold back.
GUTFELD: They knew we were doing this show and they said, let's go get a replica of the Statue of Liberty. This is it.
BOLLING: And Mr. Juan Williams, why are you a proud American?
GUILFOYLE: And look at his tie.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: You know what I like? Sea to shining sea.
PERINO: Amber waves of grain?
WILLIAMS: Well, that's part of it because when you fly over, you see some amazing things. I mean, to see the grand canyon from above, unbelievable. Unbelievable. But also to go over the continental divide when you're going into your favorite state, Colorado, that's really amazing -- wow, look at this. There are snow-capped mountains. That song is for real. And you go out to the far northwest, I had no idea because I'm a kid from Brooklyn. But you can see the grain wave with the wind. I mean, the grain -- it is called (inaudible) because it has all different kinds of oats and wheat and grains. I think wow, this is America. And of course, if you go up to Alaska and over to Hawaii, it's unbelievable, what a country.
GUTFELD: The other thing, too, is you can also just watch a movie instead.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
GUTFELD: There are so many great movies on the airlines these days.
GUILFOYLE: And we do like the movies.
WILLIAMS: You would tell me, Juan, close the window. I'm trying to watch the movie.
BOLLING: All right, proud American, K.G.
GUILFOYLE: I think you know why I'm most proud as an American. I salute the troops. And I salute the veterans and the people who serve this country, that defend our liberty, that we treasure and value so much. And when you think about this recent time, the number of deployments that families have been asked to really put it all on the line and make tremendous sacrifices, the children, the wives, the family members, the parents at home, while they go to serve faithfully. Some of them have been deployed, eight, nine times, especially our Special Forces groups as well. Really, I think about that sacrifice and how lucky we are every day to go from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday, and be able to sleep well at night knowing they're defending all the values that we care about. So I just want to give special thanks for that.
BOLLING: I'll join in on all of your thoughts as well. Can I just add law enforcement? I know it's Independence Day, but they risk their lives every day for our freedoms, protecting the freedoms that were gained through our military. So thank you to them. All right. We'll bring it around this way now. Your favorite way to celebrate the Fourth of July.
GUILFOYLE: Well, OK. You know there's food involved. And I hearken back to a time when we had a nice Fourth of July festivities. And of course, you know, I like the chicken wings. I am a self-proclaimed chicken wing champion.
PERINO: It is not self-proclaimed, you are.
GUILFOYLE: Actually, really, yeah. It's on YouTube. And for those of you who will now look at it on YouTube, that is in real-time. It is not sped up like a velociraptor where I'm eating two at a time.
BOLLING: No, but the aftermath of some of that was edited out for obvious reasons.
GUILFOYLE: Some of it was. Not mine. But the second place finisher didn't fare so well. And I got back in the line to get second helpings. Heart of a champion.
BOLLING: So, Juan, How do you celebrate -- your favorite way to celebrate?
WILLIAMS: Fireworks. I'm a big fireworks guy. And I love fireworks so much, you know, I think the best I've ever seen actually was Boston. You know, you go right down, right down there by the river and Arthur Fiedler was there alive at the time, Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops. Just unbelievable. If you go to Philadelphia, Independence Hall on Fourth of July, that's a very special place. Unbelievable celebration. And, of course, I live in Washington, D.C. Last year, I went on top of the Canadian Embassy and watched the fireworks over the National Mall of America.
WILLIAMS: That's right.
GUTFELD: Fourth of July, you go to Canada's Embassy.
WILLIAMS: Yeah. You know what, it's right there. I guess is that constitution, Dana?
WILLIAMS: Kind of the intersection. But it's right next to the Newseum. And it has got a great site for watching the fireworks.
BOLLING: Dana, your thoughts on favorite way to celebrate the Fourth.
PERINO: Well, I'm like family, family, family, friends if you can. And I think it's a great holiday, I love summertime, of course. One of the things that I love is where we've been spending some time in South Carolina is there's a parade in the morning. I've not been able to go because of work and things, but there's a morning parade and dogs are involved in the parade, and there's a contest and a theme. And Peter takes the Harley and (inaudible) rides in the side car. And the first year they won. The second year, they didn't.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh, the victory.
GUTFELD: Well, no. I celebrate the fourth with a fifth.
GUTFELD: But you know my favorite thing about July 4th so far? Potato salad. It's incredibly important because you have to get the right measure of mayonnaise and egg and potatoes. People who put celery in potato salad, that's disgusting and wrong.
GUTFELD: No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't put crunchy in the potato salad. You save the crunchy for your macaroni.
PERINO: What, no.
GUTFELD: It has to be creamy. You leave it out, it turns yellow.
GUILFOYLE: It is mac and cheese.
GUILFOYLE: What's crunchy in it?
GUTFELD: But you don't put celery in potato salad.
WILLIAMS: You would be worried about potato salad going bad at these picnics.
GUILFOYLE: I have a bad feeling for your stomach. Let me tell you, mayonnaise in the sun.
BOLLING: Oh, it's amazing. My dog hates that.
GUTFELD: Illegal fireworks.
GUTFELD: We have lost the art of illegal fireworks, barrel bombs, bottle rockets, M-80, the cherry bombs.
GUTFELD: In toilets.
WILLIAMS: I don't know where you live, but they certainly haven't lost it in my neighborhood.
BOLLING: We have one more we'll start from the inside out. Dana, your favorite Fourth of July memory, your favorite one.
PERINO: So I couldn't think of one. And then I was walking here, and I was like oh, my gosh, I have one that kind of ties together. So I remember that when I was seven years old, I had a chance to go to the White House with my parents. My dad had a conference in Washington, D.C., and that was the day when your spouse got to go with you on the business trip. So I got to go as well. My sister had to stay at home. I got to go to the White House because my mom's friend worked in the scheduling office for Air Force One for Jimmy Carter. So we got a tour and everything. We visited Lincoln's Museum, and everything, Memorial and the War Museum.
PERINO: So then, we're leaving -- and I remember this. I asked my dad. Is this a real memory or just something I imagined? No, it was real. We flew out in the dark on the Fourth of July and outside my window -- thankfully, I could have the window open, no movies. I saw the fireworks over the Washington Monument. I remember feeling so excited about that, it's a flash in my memory. And then several years later, I was able to be on the White House lawn, the south lawn, watching it, usually waiting for North Korea to set off a test of nuclear weapons, so we'd have to work all night. But for those moments that I got to watch the fireworks over the Washington Monument, those were great.
BOLLING: Mr. Juan.
GUILFOYLE: That's pretty cool.
WILLIAMS: Well, I have two that stand out. One is I got married on July 1st. I remember my wife and I just went off to a little cafe.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, cafe, like you know a restaurant. And we're sitting outside, we're going to go get up and watch the fireworks at the mall. But we just kept eating and people kept coming over and saying hello.
GUILFOYLE: Is that after you got married?
GUILFOYLE: You just walked down the street.
GUILFOYLE: So you got married and walked down the street to the cafe?
WILLIAMS: No, no, no. We got married July 1st.
GUILFOYLE: And then?
WILLIAMS: This is July 4th.
WILLIAMS: So we were just kind of eating and all of a sudden there were fireworks. And gee, we missed the fireworks, we were having such a good time. And the other one I remember...
PERINO: Fireworks at the table.
GUTFELD: And in the bedroom.
WILLIAMS: But you know what, you know the movie Independence Day?
WILLIAMS: I remember taking the kids to go see the midnight showing. So it was from July 3rd to the morning of July 4th, midnight showing. And we had such a great time. I mean, that was the first Independence Day movie, I hear the second one is not too good.
BOLLING: That's 20 years ago, right?
WILLIAMS: Yeah. That's the 20th?
GUTFELD: What I have is a -- it's an amalgam of memories that happen over time which as a child going to buy the giant box of fireworks. You go with your dad. You show up, you always wanted the giant box. And there were all these weird things like the little snakes. Those things are great. And then my favorite is the stinky bucket. You know at the end of the night, you always have a stinky bucket because you have water in there and you're throwing the Roman candle into the bucket and it creates that amazing stinky smell. Then you hear the next day, it's a great smell. And then you hear the next day one of your neighbors blew a thumb off, and now he's really cool.
BOLLING: Or a giant football player.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's right.
GUILFOYLE: Or the fire department comes because they want to investigate your leftover fireworks.
GUTFELD: That happened to you, I bet.
GUILFOYLE: A hundred percent.
GUTFELD: And that wasn't even on Fourth of July.
GUILFOYLE: I blame my brother.
GUILFOYLE: Exactly. We'd like to see your fireworks from last summer. My favorite memory? OK. So, I love the Fourth of July parade. I think they're so fun. But you see all the kids and everybody's really excited and really kind of brings it home remembering what this great country that we live in. So in particular in the Hamptons and Sag Harbor and Southampton, they do a phenomenal parade. I think it is very similar to what Dana was talking about, that has a sense of nostalgia and it brings you back to another time. It is like very traditional kind of old fashioned. It's nice to see everybody get together and kind of like...
PERINO: Do they still throw candy?
GUILFOYLE: Do they still throw candy, I didn't get any candy. But I'd like to go to one.
BOLLING: That's a micro-aggression.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, now people like to -- they usually get hit in the eye or something.
BOLLING: My favorite Fourth of July is this one because, as we sit here, I had just gotten back from a couple of days with my son before he goes off to college. And we spent two days together in Florida, and it's amazing. All right. We'll leave it right there.
Ahead, highlights and lowlights from this year's epic election season, plus a preview of the road trip conventions. As we head to break, here's retired Lieutenant Colonel Ralph Peters sharing his pride for this great country. We'll be right back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RALPH PETERS, RETIRED LIEUTENANT COLONEL: I was a young enlisted soldier in Germany, 1977. And on a weekend pass, I took the train down to Munich, lovely city. And in spite the gray, squally weather, I walked around, saw the sights, then I took the commuter train out to Dachau to the Concentration Camp Museum. I was alone on that gray March or early April day. I went indoors to a little museum and looked at the photographs of what humans can do one another. Then I turned a corner in the exhibit, and there were these black and white photographs of GIs liberating Dachau concentration camp. And on those young GIs, the faces you saw astonishment and on the faces of the inmates. I looked at those photos and I thought, God, that's who we are, Americans, that's what we do.
ANNOUNCER: Share your pride on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, #proudAmerican.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: It's been a long presidential election cycle, hasn't it? But we are in the home stretch. The GOP convention gets under way in two weeks in Cleveland. We'll be taking a road trip there. And we're also going to the Democratic Convention in Philadelphia. More on that in a moment.
But first, let's take a little trip down memory lane and revisit some of the highlights and, well, low lights from the campaign trail this season starting with Gregory.
GUTFELD: I wonder if anybody actually lives on Memory Lane?
GUTFELD: That would be pretty funny.
WILLIAMS: How about Penny Lane?
PERINO: Remember my Aunt Patty Sue...
PERINO: Now, it is called Memory Lane.
GUTFELD: Oh, excellent.
GUTFELD: It is a great story. We'll have that edited out later. My high point was recent. If you remember, Donald Trump speaking earlier, this is an amazing development. He's showing right then and there how he's going to solve two major problems, illegal immigration and cleaning up the environment. He's going to build a massive wall out of trash. This is the solution.
GUTFELD: He's going to be -- you can't climb that. Who would want to touch that wall? This is the answer that we've been waiting for. And this is cheap. It practically pays for itself.
PERINO: And you say you want specifics.
WILLIAMS: I think that was a recycling center. But I get the idea.
GUTFELD: You know what, I don't really like recycling.
GUTFELD: Because it doesn't pay.
PERINO: It doesn't pay.
WILLIAMS: It doesn't pay.
PERINO: OK, mine, it is something I could have related to the problem that Hillary Clinton had when she tried to use the subway like regular people, but still, this video is hilarious.
PERINO: Hillary Clinton is wanting to be just like the people. And it takes her like four tries to use her subway card. It's not easy all the time. You got to just hit it just right.
BOLLING: I would get so angry if I was behind her because I'd miss my train.
PERINO: You have to be ready to go and know you're doing.
WILLIAMS: So Bernie Sanders is a guy from Brooklyn and Donald Trump a guy from Queens. You think they would have done better?
PERINO: No, I don't think anyone rides the subway but me.
WILLIAMS: I ride the subway every day.
WILLIAMS: All right. Dr. Bolling.
BOLLING: Me? So the one I would pick was -- they said pick a highlight and lowlight. So I picked one that was both. It was a highlight for all of us and a lowlight for the media. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There she goes and Secret Service following behind her. OK. They're going around to the back. You can see the media running behind me here to chase the Scooby van, when she's going around to the back.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wow.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And we'll see her very soon.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The guy in the orange pants is pretty quick. Alex, I'm looking at these people. Wow.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: That's funny.
GUTFELD: They look like they just looted a Best Buy.
BOLLING: That was like the MSNBC parking lot.
WILLIAMS: Kimberly, you're up.
GUILFOYLE: The Scooby snack. OK, one of the highlights for me was Super- Tuesday. And if you recall, the Trump Florida speech, it was pretty amazing. I haven't seen anything like it. It was like victory speech, a news conference, and also it was like the infomercial, the Trump steaks and everything.
GUILFOYLE: Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: The single-biggest story in politics today, it's what's happening at the booth, the tremendous number of people that are coming out to vote. We have Democrats coming over, very importantly, we have independents coming over. We have people come over here who have never voted Republican, who have never even thought about it, and they came and they voted Republican.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: And then, of course, followed up by Trump steaks on display. And you can buy them.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh, Trump water.
WILLIAMS: And then, there was a trip to Scotland, to his golf course. You could go play on his golf course. This is all because Romney said he really wasn't that successful. That's a great response. I thought it was effective.
GUILFOYLE: I think so. OK. He won you over. I see this.
WILLIAMS: He certainly won me over. I thought, boy, you couldn't beat a display of ego like that. That's unbelievable. That's American.
WILLIAMS: All right. So here's my favorite moment because you know doing politics all the year, I was amazed that this guy was able to say what he said and that people didn't go crazy. Here it is. Donald trump.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: John McCain goes, oh, boy, Trump makes my life difficult. He had 15,000 crazies show up, crazies. He called them all crazies. He's not a war hero.
TRUMP: He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Wow. Now, to me, that was like, wow, I think that would sink your -- did not sink him. In fact, Donald Trump has become the Republican nominee. I think we're going to remember that one for a long time. Would you agree?
PERINO: I agree.
GUTFELD: It's the worst thing I've ever heard a politician say.
WILLIAMS: The worst?
PERINO: Or an American.
WILLIAMS: What do you think?
BOLLING: I think it's Independence Day, it's July 4th.
BOLLING: we'll be celebrating the military today and thanking them for everything they've done.
PERINO: Including John McCain.
GUILFOYLE: John McCain, a fantastic American hero. Also, I think we'll have to do like a post tape of this when we do our whole convention because I bet you that's where the highlights and some lowlights from Greg are going to appear.
GUTFELD: I'm going to get some highlights while I'm on the bus. Go a little blond.
BOLLING: Is hair and makeup coming? Will they be on the bus?
GUILFOYLE: They'll be there. There's the bus. Take a look. Feast your eyes on that. It will be amazing.
GUILFOYLE: We'll bring a GI specialist.
GUTFELD: And my masseuse.
WILLIAMS: Can you share?
GUTFELD: My astrologer.
WILLIAMS: Oh, no.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God, can I share your astrologer?
WILLIAMS: But you know, I really like yours because the media has been such a large part of this year so far. I mean, it's not only chasing after Hillary...
BOLLING: They look foolish.
WILLIAMS: They look ridiculous.
PERINO: But imagine if you didn't run and then you might get fired.
GUTFELD: Somebody would say, why aren't you running like the rest of them?
BOLLING: Is there anyone at this table that would have run?
GUILFOYLE: Or the Scooby van.
WILLIAMS: That's the stories come to us. You chase the candidate. They look so ridiculous.
GUILFOYLE: It's my job, I would have done it.
PERINO: Total contempt of the media by the Hillary Clinton team.
PERINO: They could have set that up the, so the media could have gotten the shot that they need. I don't think that was necessary.
WILLIAMS: Remember the rope in the parade line?
WILLIAMS: That was the same thing. OK, anyway, next. Americans are taking less vacation than ever before when they have -- yes, when they have time off to take? So why is that? Is your life all work and no play? Coming back.
DOUG MCKELWAY, FOX NEWS: I'm Doug McKelway in Washington. Here are the headlines. In New York, 3 million people are expected to celebrate Independence Day watching the nation's largest pyrotechnic display. And security will be tight. While authorities say there is new credible threat to the U.S. today, the NYPD plans to have counterterrorism units, boats and a lot of manpower helping people enjoy the show.
In Iraq at least 157 people are dead from a truck bombing in Baghdad. That was the country's worst attack in more than a decade. ISIS claimed responsibility for the attack in a busy commercial center over the weekend.
And the Fourth begins a busy week for the presidential candidates. The GOP presumptive nominee Donald trump met with Iowa Senator Joni Ernst today, who some believe is on the vice-presidential shortlist. Hillary Clinton spent more than three hours talking to the FBI on Saturday about her email set-up. Tuesday, she campaigns with President Obama.
Please join me at 6:00 PM Eastern for a special report. Now back to THE FIVE.
PERINO: It's summertime. Have you made your vacation plans? You've worked hard. You've earned it. But millions of Americans aren't using all their paid vacation days each year. That's according to the U.S. Labor Department.
There's a term to describe some of them. Work martyrs. Are you one of those?
Lots of employees aren't taking time, because they say they feel guilty or they want to show their dedication, or they don't want to be seen as replaceable. Others take vacation but end up working while they're on it. Of course, that could lead to a fight, family fight. Believe me.
Greg, you are the kind of person that you are stressed when you haven't had a vacation, but when you go on vacation and you're stressed while you're there about not being here because of all the work that's piling up?
GUTFELD: No, it's not -- I just don't like travel. I mean, I like to be - - OK, I have this idea...
PERINO: Like being places, not going places?
GUTFELD: Did I pitch this idea before? There should be a travel company that comes to your house, and then they -- they shoot you with a drug that knocks you out. And they put you in a -- like on a cot. They put you in an ambulance, and they take you to the airport. They put you on the plane, and then the next thing you know, you wake up in the hotel.
So the moment that you book your -- you book your flight, they show up, knock you out; and they take you there. That -- then I would love vacations, but other the all stuff...
GUILFOYLE: It's called Fantasy Island.
GUILFOYLE: Why don't you get little -- Mr. Rourke and Tattoo? You guys could share clothes.
GUTFELD: Tattoo was...
GUTFELD: Tattoo was awesome.
BOLLING: That's a pretty cool idea.
GUTFELD: Yes. The idea of, like, being on...
PERINO: Because you don't like to travel. You don't like the anxiety of having to get somewhere.
GUTFELD: Knock me out.
GUILFOYLE: That's why you're not going to be good to go to, like, Bali or Bora Bora.
BOLLING: Or Cleveland.
GUTFELD: Or Cleveland.
GUILFOYLE: Or even Cleveland on a bus.
PERINO: Kimberly, you like to take vacations?
PERINO: I know. You don't, really?
GUTFELD: Your life's a vacation.
GUILFOYLE: Because -- well, it's pretty awesome. But the thing is sometimes then we go on vacation -- true story, because you know, every time I go to Mexico, I get proposed to. What?
PERINO: No, but remember the last vacation you had, didn't you...
GUILFOYLE: Oh, yes, that was (SPEAKING SPANISH).
So then I ended up with the mosquitoes. I'm big in the insect community. And all these bug bites, and I'm convinced I have, like, Zika or anything. And then, because I've been kickboxing and I had a hematoma in my leg and it like swelled up. And I had to stay inside with my leg up in the air. And it was just like -- I'm like, what am I even doing?
GUTFELD: Just one.
PERINO: Juan. Juan -- Juan, Juan.
WILLIAMS: You're killing me here.
PERINO: Juan, you like to take a vacation, right? You like to go to Puerto Rico.
WILLIAMS: Oh, no, I like vacations, but the thing is, after a day or two, I'm, like, so itchy that I bother people.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.
WILLIAMS: Because everybody is like, well -- I feel like why are we here? What are we doing? I need something...
PERINO: You can't just sit and chill?
GUILFOYLE: You're, like, anxious not actually itchy.
GUTFELD: Yes. I'm that way.
WILLIAMS: I get.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, yes, yes.
WILLIAMS: Yes, yes, yes. So -- so it gets weird. And then, you know what? If I get past it, if I get to, like, day five, then I kind of get into the mode.
GUTFELD: You've got to go.
GUILFOYLE: But then it's time to go home.
WILLIAMS: But that's time to go home.
GUILFOYLE: So true, so true.
WILLIAMS: But I am struck by the idea that Americans take so few. I think it's -- you know, we don't -- we -- on average we earn about 20, and we retake about 16. And you go to -- people, like, oddly in a hotel; and there will be people from Germany and France. And they get months off.
WILLIAMS: I don't know what the deal is over there. But they're always on vacation.
GUTFELD: That's why we're better.
PERINO: The world economy could use a little more worky-worky.
GUILFOYLE: I have a year of, like, unused vacation. Isn't that so...
PERINO: Do you remember, Eric, when -- was it you that we did the -- I advised you to do the e-mail bankruptcy.
BOLLING: Yes, that was great.
PERINO: When you came back from -- I think you went away and you came back, and there were so many e-mails.
BOLLING: It's overwhelming.
PERINO: One of the reasons people say they don't like to go away.
BOLLING: I met Juan Williams for the very first time in Puerto Rico...
WILLIAMS: In a hot tub.
BOLLING: ... in a hot tub.
WILLIAMS: It's a fact. It's a fact.
PERINO: Breaking news.
GUILFOYLE: Everything good happens...
BOLLING: I'm getting the cocktail, and I said, "I think that's Juan Williams. Is that Juan Williams?"
GUILFOYLE: Everything good happens in controlled water.
BOLLING: Controlled water.
I hate taking vacation.
BOLLING: I just -- I'm so good with working. I just enjoy it.
GUILFOYLE: You love Puerto Rico. Elton Juan (ph).
BOLLING: I do, but a weekend is enough. I'm cool with a weekend.
PERINO: I love -- I love a four-day weekend.
WILLIAMS: They're good.
PERINO: Which is like half a week, really. Anyway.
GUTFELD: I like a staycation.
PERINO: Take a vacation, people. You need to refresh your mind and your body, and then you'll be a better worker.
Ahead, we asked you to send in your Fourth of July related questions. We're going to answer them when we come back.
GUILFOYLE: By the way, we sound...
(MUSIC: THEME FROM "THE FLINTSTONES")
GUTFELD: It's the Fourth of July, and it's also Social Media Monday here on "The Five." We answer your questions now. I'm going to -- I'll go this way with the little lady in red.
From Julie D.: "Favorite summertime guilty pleasure/indulgence?"
PERINO: OK. So this is something sort of new to me, because I didn't really have time during those years that I worked at the White House and, like, not a lot of times or days.
PERINO: And then I wrote my book in the summer, the summer of 2014. And everybody had gone to the pool.
PERINO: And I never got to go sit at the pool. Well, so last summer and now this summer, if I have a chance, I actually really love to just go and sit by the pool and just hang out. I don't even take anything to read.
GUTFELD: Oh, my gosh, Dana!
PERINO: I just chat.
GUTFELD: Wow, you're one of those weirdos. OK.
GUILFOYLE: Doesn't read.
PERINO: Yes. So I like to sit by the pool. Is that a guilty pleasure?
GUTFELD: Yes, I guess so. As long as you don't pee in it. Eric.
BOLLING: Oh, come on.
PERINO: As long as you don't pee in it.
GUILFOYLE: What's wrong with you?
BOLLING: All right. My guilty pleasure in the summertime, and maybe...
BOLLING: ... in wintertime also, it's two rums. It's -- it's Malibu rum. It's also a Caribbean rum. So two rums mixed in with a little bit of pineapple juice with a lot of ice, shaken really, really well...
GUILFOYLE: Magic juice.
BOLLING: ... and back in the ice, magic juice. Or fun juice, whatever you want to call it. And it's amazing. Just a little pineapple.
PERINO: Now, you do love that.
BOLLING: It's a great drink.
GUTFELD: Juan, any...
PERINO: You make it up?
GUILFOYLE: He can drink that stuff.
WILLIAMS: You know what I like? You know, I grew up in apartment buildings.
WILLIAMS: And so now, I live in a house, but sitting on the porch has got to be one of the great summer evening wonders.
PERINO: Yes, I like a porch.
GUILFOYLE: Isn't that the best?
WILLIAMS: It is. And then sometimes they have fireflies, and the little kids are wandering around. It's just like, you know, time just flies by. It's unbelievable. And sometimes somebody will have a ball game on on the radio in the background, and some kid is sitting there, making out with his girlfriend in the car. And you think, this is life.
PERINO: I don't like that.
GUILFOYLE: Wait, Juan, you like watching people making out?
WILLIAMS: Every -- I mean, you're sitting on the porch; and the world is going by and everything is happening.
WILLIAMS: Me, I like cigars. So...
GUTFELD: K.G., what's your favorite summertime guilty pleasure?
GUILFOYLE: I mean, I don't think it's that guilty, though.
GUTFELD: What is it?
GUILFOYLE: OK. Well, I mean, you know what I like.
GUTFELD: Yes, I know what you like.
GUILFOYLE: Well, besides salami. Yes.
GUTFELD: Controlled water.
GUILFOYLE: I like to actually have some snacks. Not really supposed to do this. Maybe it's a little on the wild side. But you're not supposed to really eat in the hot tub, but I think if you just have a few light snacks, a little salami and cheese with a nice drink and you're in the hot tub, that's particularly enjoyable. Or the outdoor shower is also quite nice.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
GUILFOYLE: Or the indoor bathtub Jacuzzi...
GUILFOYLE: ... quite nice, followed up by the indoor shower.
GUTFELD: Very good.
PERINO: That's a lot of water.
GUILFOYLE: I love it. I'm a Pisces.
GUTFELD: Dana, it's not just a lot of water. It's a lot of water- resistant cameras I have to buy. That clicking noise, by the way, just ignore it.
BOLLING: I thought you were going somewhere else. Salami, hot tubs. OK.
GUTFELD: My -- my guilty pleasure in the summer is I love to go for long drives. And you know, if there are any hitchhikers, because you know, they've been out there for a long time, I often just pick them up. And...
PERINO: There's no hitchhikers anymore.
GUTFELD: I know.
WILLIAMS: Oh, my God.
GUILFOYLE: You're like an episode of "America's Most Wanted."
GUTFELD: All right. I'll start with you, K.G. Diane R.: "My son Tom is 11, watches the show." Stop bragging. "He was wondering if you guys knew each other or were friends prior to being on 'The Five'?" K.G.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, I thought you meant with her son. OK. I was like...
PERINO: I did, too.
GUTFELD: I'm not allowed.
GUILFOYLE: I don't recall, unless I taught him. OK, so when I was a teacher. Who did I know beforehand? Well, Juan I knew from being here, because he's been on the air and, you know, watched him for years. And then we met when you were here.
And then Bolling I knew because we were doing "Strategy Room" and everything together. So that was super fun. And I used to do his show, "Follow the Money."
Dana I met before.
PERINO: A little bit.
GUILFOYLE: We worked together, yes, which was nice. And we were talking about some people we knew in common in politics and the whole thing. So we liked each other right away.
PERINO: And you defended Peter when he was -- remember, when he got arrested...
PERINO: ... walking the dog off a leash. And it was on "Is It Legal?"
GUILFOYLE: Yes, "Is It Legal?" Had to defend.
GUTFELD: Is it beagle.
GUILFOYLE: That's right. Right. There you go.
PERINO: That's before we met.
GUILFOYLE: Free counsel. Exactly.
And you, I have actually known a long time, because I was on the air first thing with you for your show, "Red Eye."
GUILFOYLE: That was a big hit. And so I was a regular on there, and that was a tremendous amount of fun.
GUTFELD: It certainly was.
WILLIAMS: Well, I think the most memorable one is the one you described earlier, where we met -- we met by a hot tub in Puerto Rico. Because you came over to say hello.
BOLLING: It was memorable to you, too?
WILLIAMS: Well, yes, because...
GUILFOYLE: It's now "The Five"...
WILLIAMS: ... now we're sitting next to each other every day.
Now Dana, I think we met through Tony Snow.
WILLIAMS: OK. I think that's right.
PERINO: Love him.
WILLIAMS: And Tony was a good friend who used to work here at FOX. Those of you remember "FOX News Sunday," he was the host, and then went to be the White House press secretary. And I believe -- what did you -- did he hire you?
PERINO: No, he inherited me.
WILLIAMS: He inherited you?
PERINO: I was already there.
PERINO: I was a lifer.
WILLIAMS: Yes, and Tony was not only a good friend but a good -- And I don't remember how we met.
GUTFELD: I knew who you were, but we never met.
WILLIAMS: Because I'm not a -- I need to be a funnier guy. Then I would have gotten invited on "Red Eye."
PERINO: Give us one more question.
GUTFELD: You want me to skip?
PERINO: Yes, because we already know how we all met.
GUTFELD: All right, all right, all right. Gee whiz, sorry about that.
WILLIAMS: Wait a second, I'm interested. How did you meet Dana Perino?
GUTFELD: That's the funny thing. Out of everybody here, I didn't know her. Because we met here.
GUTFELD: She completely blew me off the first time I was introduced.
PERINO: I didn't even Google you before I met you.
GUILFOYLE: She had zero interest.
GUTFELD: I wonder if you feel it when someone Googles you?
All right. From Marcy W.: "Hot dog or hamburger?" Eric.
BOLLING: Turkey dog. Sorry.
GUTFELD: Turkey dog?
Juan, hot dog or hamburger?
WILLIAMS: I've given them up.
PERINO: Wow, we are old.
GUILFOYLE: I don't choose. Both, yum, yum, yum.
PERINO: Hamburger, well done.
GUTFELD: Actually hot dog or hamburger? Dog burger.
GUILFOYLE: You have something in common.
GUTFELD: I know. All right.
BOLLING: But before you bump out, you bump in and out with shows...
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
BOLLING: ... at different -- I was thinking over the weekend what a great -- what an interesting thing it would be what show are we? Are we "Seinfeld"? Are we "Gilligan's Island"? Are we...
GUILFOYLE: I hope we're not "Friends," the last season.
GUTFELD: You know what? I think we are like "Shark Tank," and our -- the inventions are actually issues.
BOLLING: Wouldn't it be fun to pick a show and...?
BOLLING: How about you guys do it?
GUILFOYLE: You guys are ignoring Susan.
BOLLING: And the character.
GUTFELD: Who's Susan? She's mad.
Yes, We're more like "The Brady Bunch." That's a good question.
BOLLING: "Gilligan's Island." Think about it.
GUTFELD: "Gillian's Island," yes. Two ladies. I guess I am Gilligan. You're the professor. No, you're the skipper. The skipper. There was no black guy on "Gilligan's Island."
WILLIAMS: No, no. You know...
GUILFOYLE: I'm Ginger. She's Maryanne.
BOLLING: Have you seen him in his skipper hat?
BOLLING: He looks amazing.
GUTFELD: All right. It's wedding season. Can you guess what the most popular song played at weddings is? We'll reveal that in our top wedding list selections, next.
(MUSIC: THEME FROM "THE JETSONS")
(MUSIC: "HEY YA" BY OUTKAST)
GUILFOYLE: Love it. All right. That was "Hey Ya" by Outkast. And if that's one of your favorite songs, you are not alone. Not alone, not alone. It's No. 1 on wedding playlists across America, according to the polling website 538.
The runners up: "I Want to Dance with Somebody" and "Uptown Funk." Right, love that.
Since wedding season is in full swing -- and I do love wedding season -- we thought we'd tell you the songs that would be on our ultimate wedding playlists. See how they compare with yours.
And I'm going to kick it off with this. Can we take a listen?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: U-2, "I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: You get the joke?
PERINO: Yes, I got it, I got it, I got it. She's on the hunt.
GUILFOYLE: On the hung. Thank you, Dana, as my communications representative. Yes. Still haven't found what I'm looking for. We are continuing to remain optimistic.
WILLIAMS: Well, you know, so this has been a wedding season to end all wedding seasons for me; I keep going. So my favorite: "Celebration," Kool and the Gang. Celebrate good times.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: KOOL AND THE GANG, "CELEBRATION")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: That's a great song.
GUILFOYLE: That's so you.
WILLIAMS: I love it, man.
GUILFOYLE: That's perfect Juan playlist. That's a goodie-goodie.
All right. Eric.
BOLLING: All great songs. First of all, just he needs some drinks and play some music, I'll be on the dance floor. But I love "I Gotta Feeling," Black-Eyed Peas.
PERINO: Very nice.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: BLACK-EYED PEAS, "I GOTTA FEELING")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE; I love it. That's pretty up-tempo.
GUILFOYLE: How about D.P.?
PERINO: I went with -- I went old school with "Shout" by The Isley Brothers.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: THE ISLEY BROTHERS, "SHOUT")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Everybody knows this song. Little kids to older people, everybody is on the dance floor; they love it.
GUTFELD: Very fun.
PERINO: Thank you.
GUTFELD: The children. Even the children like it.
Before I say my song, I looked up -- do you know that in every wedding where "The Macarena" is played ends in divorce? Do you know that?
GUILFOYLE: Wait, where are you getting this?
GUTFELD: It's 100 percent. Anyway...
PERINO: Would that be the crunchy "Macarena"?
GUTFELD: The song I -- the song I picked, of course, is Guns n' Roses, "I Used to Love Her."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: GUNS N' ROSES, "I USED TO LOVE HER")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: ... but then I...
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUNS N' ROSES, MUSICIANS (SINGING): I used to love her but then I had to kill her.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: That would be a -- I get it. You had to kill her. I get it, I get it. That's a confident bride and groom, to play that.
GUTFELD: The best wedding song ever.
WILLIAMS: Not for the parents of the bride.
GUTFELD: That's true.
GUILFOYLE: Juan, that would never be played at any of the fabulous weddings that you have been to. Right?
WILLIAMS: No, no.
GUILFOYLE: You've had some nice weddings. I bet the cake was good, too.
WILLIAMS: You know what I like is when...?
GUILFOYLE: I love wedding cake.
WILLIAMS: Your original song was Etta James.
GUILFOYLE: "At Last."
WILLIAMS: Which is a song for the bride and groom to dance to. Right?
GUILFOYLE: Right. That's what I do choose.
WILLIAMS: And I just think that's a very special moment.
GUILFOYLE: It's gorgeous, though, isn't it? It's very, very sweet.
GUTFELD: There's a better song, "In the Basement."
PERINO: I love that song "In the Basement."
GUTFELD: Great song.
WILLIAMS: And before the wedding.
GUILFOYLE: Dancing to "At Last" while somebody pulled on my veil and ripped my hair off.
BOLLING: It's the reason for the wedding.
PERINO: OK, we've got to tease.
GUILFOYLE: All right. "One More Thing" is up next.
GUTFELD: Is that Etta James?
GUTFELD: "In the Basement"?
(MUSIC: BILLY IDOL, "WHITE WEDDING")
BOLLING: Time for "One More Thing." Greg starts.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I hate these people!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Your clip board is hilarious.
GUTFELD: This really isn't a person; it's more like a device. But what I hate is autocorrect. I'm dealing with a very important issue with insurance companies right now because of a leaky ceiling, and I wrote a very serious text to my insurance agent. And then I signed it Greg and sent it, and it changed "Greg" to "Giggles."
GUILFOYLE: Come on!
GUTFELD: Sent it to "Giggles." So after writing a very serious text, it just said, "Thank you, Giggles."
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. It was probably so disturbing and odd.
GUTFELD: I think they're re-evaluating my claim.
BOLLING: And I've said before, thank God it wasn't to the boss.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's exactly it.
BOLLING: Dana, you're up.
PERINO: Constituting America is a wonderful group, and they're teaching young people about the Constitution. So check out Zuriel Ferguson. This is a young man who was watching "The Five" with his mom, and we talked about Constituting America last year on this show. And his mom said, "You should enter their contest and create a little documentary film." He did, and this is him performing in it. Zuriel Ferguson.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ZURIEL FERGUSON, FILMMAKER (voice-over): The United States Constitution, the foundation for which structure and further establishments will be built on. Take a look at this building.
(on camera): Before the construction of this building could ever take place, first there had to have been a strong foundation laid. It's quite like the U.S. Constitution.
In 1787, the U.S. Constitution was conceived to set rules and project goals as the basis of the American government.
Being able to live in today's society is pretty cool. But having the freedom to express yourself more than 200 years ago is even cooler.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: So Zuriel Ferguson, that's -- he's going to be here in July. Constituting America is going to bring some winners here to "The Five."
GUILFOYLE: That was fantastic.
PERINO: They all found out about it because of "The Five."
GUILFOYLE: I love it. That's super interesting.
BOLLING: Your shot. Your turn.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Thank you so much. I want you to take a look at this video. It's pretty alarming and exciting. It's heartwarming, because it's the moment that a soldier, and his name is U.S. Army Specialist Kyle Pratt, surprises his mom. She hasn't seen him in 4 1/2 years. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SPECIALIST KYLE PRATT, U.S. ARMY: Hi, Mom.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (SCREAMING) Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Wow. So he was obviously, you know, surprising his mom. She was super, super excited. She said she felt like she was in a dream. She actually didn't even believe that it was real. So she's very excited.
GUTFELD: The dog is...
PERINO: The dog is like, what's going on?
GUILFOYLE: Nothing like a mother's love.
BOLLING: That's so sweet.
GUTFELD: A mother's screams.
BOLLING: Mr. Juan.
WILLIAMS: Well, you know, so it's Fourth of July, and guess what? Foreigners like to date Americans...
PERINO: Wait, what?
WILLIAMS: ... because they think we are more fun, more attractive, and especially American men. Foreigners find us low maintenance, more chivalrous, as well as respectful of the opposite sex. So go, American men.
GUILFOYLE: My God. That was out of left field.
PERINO: That's a virtue. That's a virtue of manliness.
BOLLING: That is so -- that is so nationalistic of you.
PERINO: It's one of the virtues. Manliness.
BOLLING: This is my "One More Thing." I want to thank everyone. The out -- the unbelievable...
BOLLING: ... response to what's going on with the book. Thank you so much. "Wake Up, America," Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com. And don't forget: You see a military person or law enforcement person on this weekend, buy them a beer, buy them a meal.
PERINO: Unless they're working.
BOLLING: They -- when they get off work. They can put the beer in their pocket.
GUILFOYLE: Hug them. Give them a kiss.
GUTFELD: Only if you're Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. They would love it.
BOLLING: They give their lives for us, for our freedoms. Right?
GUTFELD: No, I said only if you're Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: They love it.
BOLLING: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Have a very safe and happy Fourth of July, everyone.
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