This is a rush transcript from "The Five," January 25, 2016. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
KIMBERLEY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle along with Julie Roginsky, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."
One week, that's all that's left. The presidential candidates are now on a seven-day sprint before the first vote is held in Iowa next Monday and there's some good news for Donald Trump. He's re-taken the lead in Iowa over Ted Cruz. According to a new Fox News poll, he is now at 34 percent, Cruz at 23. Trump is also holding a lead in New Hampshire with 31 percent of the vote. And with just days left to go, the mudslinging between the two top GOP candidates is getting uglier.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, GOP PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Ted Cruz will approve the keystone pipeline because it benefits Canada. Great. He could be the only guy who'll run for president then he'll prime minister of Canada.
SEN. TED CRUZ, COP PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I think the people of Iowa and this country deserve more than politician's bickering school children and insulting people with school yard taunts. Not only will I not insult Donald Trump, I will sing his praises personally, but I do think policy is fair.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Cruz picked up some new endorsements. Glenn Beck backed him over the weekend and former presidential candidate, Rick Perry, announced his support today. Marco Rubio also got a big endorsement this weekend from the Des Moines register. He is downplaying it a bit though saying he does -- it doesn't make him the establishment's pick for the nomination.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So the pick says you're the new face of the Republican Party. They say you're the best hope for Republicans. Does that make you the establishment?
SEN. MARCO RUBIO, GOP PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: No, it makes it that if I win the nomination, I'm going to unite the party and we're going to beat Hillary Clinton. We need to win this election. This -- we cannot lose this election. This country cannot afford another four years like the last seven.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: I think on that everyone would agree on that no one can afford to have another Democrat in the White House especially once the strong we tethered (ph) to President Obama and his failed policy. Dana, so interesting the rhetoric that Marco Rubio is choosing to seize on, that this does not make him the establishment candidate.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I thought the reporter's question was a little odd because he's talking about the endorsement and how you said you'd be the future of the party, you're the best thing for the party, so does that make you establishment? I'm not seeing the equation there. But I thought Marco handled that fine. He's probably going to do a little better because Ted Cruz is starting to fall a little bit in Iowa in these final days. Obviously Donald Trump is way up. And remember, most people in Iowa, majority of them, will make up their minds about who they will vote for next Monday night in the last five days. And so, that makes this coming Thursday's presidential debate so important.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah. OK. Real quick about the endorsement and getting the Des Moines register, what do you think?
PERINO: Well, again, I'm all for addition, not subtraction. I think any time you can add to your plate of people, these are the people that support me. I think Marco -- sorry -- Ted Cruz getting the support of Glenn Beck and Rick Perry -- again, adding not subjecting at this point is really important. I do think that the Trump attack on the keystone pipeline was a little odd since Republican voters for years have been pushing Obama and Hillary Clinton on that very issue. Not about Canada, but about jobs in America. And then later on in the show, we're going to show how he has an ad, an effective ad, about how he'll bring jobs to America, bring back more jobs. But on that one in particular, I thought he was a little off.
GUILFOYLE: All right, Eric, what do you think about this -- the emphasis of Dana saying jobs in America?
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Interesting numbers that came out over the weekend. Trump and Cruz, 57 percent between the two of them. I mean they clearly the ones to beat, but the jump -- that Trump jumped up so much up to 34 and Cruz down to 23, that's interesting also. As far as endorsements go, I think this -- again, just Governor Terry Brandstad, the longest seated governor in America currently, also a Republican, saying vote for Trump not Ted Cruz, which is huge. And Senator Grassley is also traveling with Trump. That's interesting to me as well. So, those -- as far as endorsements go, I think those are important.
PERINO: And you have Earnst traveling with him.
BOLLING: And Joni Ernst tried more verbal (ph). But the Rubio issue that I find most interesting is Jeb Bush, his super PAC has severe attack ads on Marco Rubio. They're going after him hard on immigration and his voting record and I'm sitting here trying to think, OK, if you add up Rubio, Jeb Bush, Chris Christie and John Kasich, you're coming up with about 20 percent only. Instead of them going after each other, they -- you know, this crunch time, you may as well go after Trump or Cruz or you don't go after Trump, go after Cruz. You can at least maybe look at doing well in Iowa and then New Hampshire, but they're beating each other senseless. It doesn't make sense to me.
GUILFOYLE: I'm not here trying to get a little bit higher up in the batting lineup to say, you know, get -- be more in play to be the other choice in case the other is low.
BOLLING: But Rubio is only polling at 12. I mean they're shooting at the guy who is -- who's got 12. I mean go after the one with 23 or 34.
GUILFOYLE: I got you. He's the top with those guys. But OK, Greg?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: I can't wait for this to end and it hasn't started yet. That's the amazing thing. This is the Super Bowl for people with dandruff and coffee breath. And they act like mudslinging -- the act like mudslinging is so unseemly, yet it happens every single election. Just count on the mudslinging. It's actually the only fun part in this. It's inevitable and entertaining. As for -- I believe the editions of endorsements are actually subtractions. It has the opposite effect for me. When somebody endorses something, I instinctively want to be against it because I'm a negative person. Like you see the two stars of Duck Dynasty, like one is for Trump, one is for Cruz and then the guy in Pawn Stars he's for Rubio, I'm waiting to hear from Kim Kardashian's butt. I want to know what that's endorsing. It's stupid.
GUILFOYLE: But that counts for two votes.
GUTFELD: Nicely done.
PERINO: But didn't she come out for Hillary?
GUTFELD: I don't know.
JULIE ROGINSKY, CO-HOST: I think she did a (inaudible) with Hillary. I don't know if that qualifies -- in the Kardashian world, that probably does qualify, right -- a (inaudible) was endorsement, I guess. What I don't get -- what I don't get about this whole thing is -- you made a great point. Trump -- you know, they're all treating each other the establishment candidates, New Hampshire especially, Rubio, Christie, Kasic, Bush, as though one of them needs to emerge to be the person to go up against Trump. Time is running out, my friend, like if you're going to kill each other, one of you will emerge. By that point, Trump, if he solidifies both Iowa and New Hampshire, he's going to be hard to beat. It makes no sense to me as to why they're not going after him. They're all terrified of going after him. He's done a great job of cowing these people who want to be president of the United States into submission. I don't get it. If they can't put up with Donald Trump, how are they going to put up a Vladimir Putin? It makes no sense to me. You're right, Eric. They should go after him. You have to take down the guy who's on top and they're not coming after him. They're coming after each other.
BOLLING: Or go up -- or go up to the guy who is in second place because of one of them were to, you know, establish a strong presence -- so let's say, Marco Rubio, he's the closest to him and did well and either one came in second in Iowa and one came in second in New Hampshire then you have made a case for a candidate. But beating each other up at this point in the game, it doesn't make sense to me.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. All right. More on that later, a lot later.
Trump may have a big lead in the polls, but he's getting a lot of heat for these comments he made.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: My people are so smart. And you know what else they say about my people -- the polls, they say, I have the most loyal people. Did you see that? Where I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK? It's like incredible.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: All right. The next day he defended his use of tough rhetoric but vowed to take a softer approach if he were to win the White House.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: I'm dealing with all these people and I have to be a little tough. I had to be quick because I don't have enough time to be so nice, right? But if I'm president, I would have a little bit of a different demeanor. But don't worry the demeanor would be a little different. But don't worry it will be the same attitude. You understand that, OK? We're not going to change. I'll be a little softer. Maybe the attitude will be tougher, but the words will be softer.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
Guilfoyle: All right. So it will be like Trump but soaking his hand in Palmolive a little bit, so a little softer feel approach. What did you guys think about that? Julie, we'll go around.
ROGINSKY: I got to tell you, how condescending to his own supporters. You guys are so stupid that I could shoot somebody -- but meanwhile, you're going to vote for me. If I were one of Trump's supports, I .
BOLLING: I'll pick someone.
ROGINSKY: . I'll choose somebody to see -- you're right. Exactly. (Inaudible), go ahead and shoot somebody. I'm not that stupid. I think it's incredibly condescending, but I guess people are drinking the Kool-Aid so much they don't -- they don't feel condescended to just by the fact that he, in fact, is being condescending.
BOLLING: Oh, but he did defend it by saying he was kidding obviously and then if you let the -- if you let the tape roll a little bit, people are laughing and he'll tell you that. However, his point is this, he's very -- he has very adamant supporters. They're on board no matter what.
GUTFELD: What do you mean adamant?
BOLLING: I will tell you what, though.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. Well, they're baked in. He has strong support .
BOLLING: So everyone is watching this, right? And everyone -- we're applying it to his supporters over Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush. Apply it to Hillary Clinton and then further on if -- apply it to world leaders. World leaders are watching going, "Wow! This guy has got backing. He's got people behind them." I think clearly -- he's there, he's making the case. He grabs the news cycle. Look, we've talked about him twice now in nine minutes. So he knows what he's doing. But I think it's showing -- it portrays strength on the global stage.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Dana?
PERINO: Well, shooting on Fifth Avenue, I think the reason it was funny is because there's a little bit of truth to anything that is humorous. So, of course, that was kind of funny and he gets the joke and we get the joke and -- it's funny. I do think that what -- we don't understand a couple things in this election. One the polling is different because of people no longer having landlines as much anymore.
So the polling in the last couple elections has been a little off. I think in this one we don't exactly know. The other thing is that it has been proven that you don't have to -- it's not the best benefit to have the most money. So Jeb's super PAC has had the most money, spending a ton of it, a lot of it to beat up Marco Rubio who then has had to spend money defending himself on that, that actually hasn't helped in that regard and so I don't know if the money game is necessary or going to be as important as social media in particular. The ads for social media are having more of a staying impact with people than ones that are running on television. That is changing the election in a lot of different ways and we may learn a little more within this month seeing Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina votes.
GUILFOYLE: Right. We'll see how it's going to play out. So Greg, smart strategy, his aggressive hyperbole?
GUTFELD: Yes. I mean you said it's a little bit of truth. I'd say it's all truth. What he said was 100 percent factual. If he shot one person on Fifth Avenue, his followers would say, only one? He probably could have gotten four or five more. That's a good thing. And to Eric's point that we've talked -- we've looked at other countries and we go, "Wow! You see so much anger and extremism. Isn't it time for our anger and our extremism? What if we had a large faction of really angry people? Maybe that would make the world look at us differently." But this is also -- it speaks to a bigger issue and this is an autocrat. This is an authoritarian movement. People are looking for power. They're looking for strength. They're looking for a desk bot. That's what we want and that's what he was speaking to and he is 100 percent right.
GUILFOYLE: You know why? Because they don't trust government. They don't trust .
GUTFELD: But they put their trust in one man then.
GUILFOYLE: But they don't trust -- yeah. But they're not -- they're not happy with what's going on in the House, what's going on in the Senate, and politics as usual.
GUTFELD: Yeah. So hand it over to one guy. It's kind of like what Woody Allen said about Barack Obama when he said, "Why can't he just be a dictator for two years?"
ROGINSKY: But you nailed it. That's the one common denominator Trump supporters have. It's not their party. It's not anything else. It's the autocracy. It's that they want an autocrat and that's exactly what polling has shown and it's interesting that you pointed that out because that is across the board. Democrats and Republicans were attracted to him. That's what they're attracted to.
GUTFELD: It's a law of the jungle. You know, the prime ate that pounds its chest the loudest gets the most support. Not saying Trump is a primate.
GUILFOYLE: Well, Trump is something else.
GUILFOYLE: Well, he's also -- again -- so OK. It's also natural selection. So there you go.
GUTFELD: Yes. We're working the evolutionary aspect.
BOLLING: Are we lumping stead Cruz supporters in that? They're looking for the authoritarian, autocrat to run .
GUTFELD: I don't think so because .
GUTFELD: As an ideology, conservatism is generally against the autocrats.
BOLLING: But my point is that between the two of them, they've had 60 percent -- 50 -- between 50 and 60 percent of the vote for virtually the whole season so far.
ROGINSKY: But Cruz is getting the true conservative. Trump -- people are not attracted to Trump because he's a conservative necessarily. I know we'll talk about that later. They're attracted to his autocracy as Greg pointed out and that's the common denominator.
GUTFELD: Even Rush (ph) pointed it out that nationalism right now is Trumping conservatism. I think it's true.
BOLLING: I think what Cruz lost in these latest polls went to Trump, so it means .
PERINO: Yes. Got it. But I think the .
BOLLING: Your crossover made .
PERINO: I think the .
GUILFOYLE: Shaved points for sure. So that was the goal, right? He said he's doing better against me, so now I have to hit him. He was honest about that.
Now, is Trump conservative enough to be the GOP nominee? That's the (inaudible) -- the growing risk among Republicans voted that. I just picked up some votes. Before we go, a programming note, set your DVRs because "The Five" is heading to Iowa. Don't miss our live shows this Friday, Saturday and Monday from caucus country at 5:00 p.m. Eastern. We cannot wait and hope you're going to join us. We'll be back in a moment.
GUTFELD: It's the universal gripe: No one likes a line cutter. Whether you're waiting for a drink at a bar or in line at Walgreens or watching people sneak in over our porous border. It's the nagging suspicion that someone is getting something for nothing. It gets under your skin. We believe in order. We believe you got to put in the time and the effort. We believe in respecting the people that got there first and the people who did the work. Could that be the resentment fueling the rift among Republicans?
As National Review Magazine lines up conservatives against Trump, it's based on one assumption: He's a conservative in costume only. It's as if he's claiming citizenship illegally, hopping the fence of identity without appreciating those who did it legally.
So is he now assimilating or simulating?
The good news is it's a solvable conflict. The first step is admit the right has a point. Trump is first and foremost a salesman and he's selling himself. Maybe he's not a movement conservative, but maybe he's moved. One town hall with conservatives and Trump -- perhaps on FNC -- would answer that. He may not need to do it, but he should want to do it. A conversation, not by phone, not surrounded by fans, but confronting the faithful -- that could erase the unease because it's not just about winning a nomination but winning over those people who were in line when Trump was somewhere else.
KG, is it time for some form of like counseling for the Republican Party, get everybody in the room?
GUILFOYLE: Yes. Counseling, snacks, beverages always helps and I saw the Republican mixer, right?
PERINO: Chix fillet (ph).
GUILFOYLE: Chix fillet would be good every time.
GUILFOYLE: It's really true, but why not? A little come to Jesus, you know, come hear the -- that sort of thing, make it a little social. People love ice cream socials .
GUTFELD: That is true.
GUILFOYLE: . and very popular. We even have them sometimes in the lobby.
GUTFELD: Not in this weather though.
GUTFELD: Very cold right now.
GUILFOYLE: Now we have snow cones.
GUTFELD: Yes. That is true.
GUILFOYLE: Made on the streets of New York.
GUTFELD: Don't have the yellow ones.
GUILFOYLE: Scoop it up.
GUTFELD: Eric, is it a problem that as human beings we only can handle two sides? It's like either you're for or against or you love or you hate or it's true or it's false. We can never say, "Oh, maybe there's something there that we might like. There may be some something there that we might like." So it's like ideology must be a conservative or not?
BOLLING: See. The middle grounds. We can't handle it. We want either yes or no or the lack of it. I guess, but I think that's what we've had. We've had, you know, we've had far right the call the fringe then we had the establishment squishy they call the rhinos. And now, here's someone who you can't really put your finger on Trump and you're not sure what he is but he is uniting a movement, maybe it's not all right, far right, maybe it's not all squishy, maybe it's something from everywhere, maybe who knows. I'm not really sure. As far as not waiting -- you know, cutting the line, not waiting your turn, that's what we're hitting Hillary on, right? She's supposed to be -- it's supposed to be her turn. And Bernie Sanders coming in and says, "You know what? Maybe it's not her turn. Maybe I'm someone who he didn't see coming either." So I think it's happening on both sides now, more along the lines of sick of what we've had this choice or that choice. Let's try something different.
GUTFELD: Yes. And that's a good point. The issue though is when you have like people that have worked very hard, that are being denigrated, correct?
PERINO: Right. As rhinos for years and now it doesn't matter.
GUTFELD: Yeah. It doesn't matter.
PERINO: I actually disagree though. I think it's -- especially where millennials are, which is a huge voting block this time around, is that they actually do -- they don't like to be labeled .
PERINO: . and they like to take a little from here and a little bit from there, which is why this election is confounding to people because you have a ton of young people supporting Bernie Sanders, which kind of wouldn't make sense necessarily but we're in a different time. I think that they don't want to be labeled. So again, it's harder to nail people down.
GUTFELD: To them, Bernie is a lovable professor that is put like a positive venire over a deadly ideology like socialism.
GUTFELD: It's just all about .
PERINO: It also -- it sounds very good and he has the highest favorability of all the candidates running.
GUTFELD: I like him. I hate what he stands for. But I like -- I can't help but like the guy.
GUILFOYLE: And why do you like him?
GUTFELD: Because you know what? It goes back to that liberals are great at selling bad ideas.
GUILFOYLE: Yes -- or maybe -- I don't know it's liberal or not. I mean I think that he's been persuasive about being authentic, genuine about what he believes in. You can't -- you may not -- you may disagree with his ideas, but this is someone you don't think is, you know, BSing you like some of the others being a phony politician. That's why I know people that like Trump and Sanders.
GUTFELD: Yes. That would be a great contest.
ROGINSKY: I think that's actually a great point. I think people are so tired of manufacturing -- I think this is a problem for Hillary. I think she comes across as so manufactured .
ROGINSKY: . so poll driven. But you have these younger voters who don't identify with her and her, you know, struggles as she talks about being the breaking glass ceiling and talking about the fact that, wait a second. We like somebody who comes across and maybe come urgently, he may look like Larry David playing George Steinbrenner on Seinfeld but nevertheless he's someone who's super authentic and they relate to him. I get that. I don't like -- you know, I don't agree with him. I think he's too left, but nevertheless .
GUTFELD: Too left for you?
ROGINSKY: Even for me.
ROGINSKY: Wow. We finally found somebody who's too left for me.
GUTFELD: You're a communist.
ROGINSKY: That's true.
PERINO: I know we have to go but I do that your idea of the conservative town hall is pretty interesting.
PERINO: I know I make conservative leaning news outlets .
PERINO: . that met with Donald Trump and said, "Wow. If he were actually to present himself like that, in public, that he could probably get more conservative reports."
GUTFELD: Why does he keep -- every time he talks about conservatism he does a pretty good job but he doesn't do it.
BOLLING: Hosted by you is a good idea, but hosted by "The Five" where you run the gamut of ideology here, that's not a bad place to be doing it.
ROGINSKY: And the great part is I agree with them on everything he said at one point. So we all get along. There's not one time like he says something where we don't all agree.
GUILFOYLE: Look at how we just pitched ourselves.
GUTFELD: There you go. So coming up next, "The Five" interviews Donald Trump. All right. Take a big gulp. Michael Bloomberg, remember him? He's reportedly weighing a presidential bid as a third party candidate. How would that impact the race? That's ahead on the "The Five."
PERINO: Donald Trump has flirted with the idea. Now, another billionaire is as well. Michael Bloomberg is reportedly considering a third party bid as it looks like the general election comes down to Trump versus Bernie Sanders. The former New York City mayor will reportedly decide in March sometime after Super Tuesday. How would that shake up the race? Well, candidates on both sides don't seem very concerned.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MICHAEL BLOOMBERG, FORMER NEW YORK CITY MAYOR: I know him very well. And I think he might very well get in the race.
TRUMP: He's opposite me on guns and he is opposite on pro life and he's opposite on a lot of things. I would love to have Michael get in the race.
RUBIO: This is a great country where the son of a bartender and a maid can be running for the same office and have the same opportunity as the son of a millionaire or for that matter the son of a president. It's extraordinary.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're not worried about him getting in?
HILLARY CLINTON, DEMOCRATIC PARTY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Well, the way I read what he said is, if I didn't get the nomination, he might consider it. Well, I'm going to relieve him of that and get the nomination, so he doesn't have to.
BERNIE SANDERS, DEMOCRATIC PARTY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I think it would be interesting if Donald Trump became the Republican candidate who is a multi-billionaire and Michael Bloomberg became an independent candidate who is a multi-billionaire. If that takes place, I'm confident we will win it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: All right, KG. I talked with several people today and I got several different points of view whether it would help the GOP nominee, would it hurt Hillary, et cetera, and if he would do it and if any other Republicans would come out to support him he's got strong views on global warming, on guns, on big gulps and the like. People in New York have a lot of affection for him, but could that translate across the country?
GUILFOYLE: Well -- and then would he be conservative enough to be able to capture some of the votes from Trump and Cruz supporters, that's the thing that I don't -- I don't know if it would resonate so well. It's interesting because he was like kind of trying to sweep in, I guess, perhaps at the last minute, given what's going on. It may be a little bit too late like everyone was waiting on Biden, the same type of phenomenon happening there.
Look. He was a very good mayor of New York City. I don't agree with him on all of his politics or his policies, but he's certainly someone that would be able to self-fund and run a great campaign. And I like what Marco Rubio said, except if you want to hit it really hard say, "Hey, billionaire." That's -- when you know, when you think about that.
And the way that Bernie Sanders put it, he makes a good point. Can you imagine the juxtaposition if he was running against someone like that, to really kind of fuel the Democratic and liberal and socialist base to get him out there.
PERINO: The other thing about Bloomberg is a lot of people like him on economics. And they like him -- he's kind of a hawk on national security. But do you think this is going anywhere?
BOLLING: No, I don't think it's going anywhere. He says he would be -- Bloomberg said he would be willing to spend $1 billion. He's worth $37 billion. It's not that much money. But he -- the way it works out, the way I understand it, it would be almost virtually impossible for him to be elected president of the United States.
But what he really should do -- he's been a Democrat; he's been a Republican; he's now an independent -- just run in the Democrat Party. Just go for it that way. You're clearly saying Hillary is not strong enough to win this election. Just do it. Go up against her. He doesn't want to do that. But that's the way he would most likely be able to do it, because he wouldn't be able to win the Electoral College.
GUILFOYLE: And you're right, because some of the polling and research shows he would cut into the Democratic...
BOLLING: I think there's physically almost an impossibility for him to become president as an independent.
PERINO: Quite an indictment against Hillary, though, don't you think? That he's even thinking this, Julie?
ROGINSKY: Yes, it is an indictment against her and against her chances, I guess, is what he's suggesting.
But look, those of us who lived in New York during his mayoral term know one thing. He's not somebody who does things just to do them. If he does it, it's because he's going to win. He needs to see some polling that shows he's going to win.
And you guys are absolutely right. There's no way. I mean, there's no way as an independent he can win. I'm not even sure who he necessarily appeals to. Because on the one hand, he's not conservative enough for the Republicans. You know, the nanny state stuff, which even I'm opposed to. The guns, which a lot of Republicans are opposed to. On the Democratic side, he's very close to Wall Street and too tied into Wall Street for some Democrats.
So you know, he could cherry pick a little on this end, cherry pick a little more on that end, and Kimberly, you're right, he'll cherry pick more from Democrats than from Republicans but not enough to win. So why go for it? He's not -- you know, he's a business guy. He's not somebody who's going to do it just to be a spoiler. I don't think he's clamoring for a Republican to get elected so badly that he wants to be a spoiler for the Democrats.
PERINO: Gutfeld, how do you round this up?
GUTFELD: He's not a likeable person. I mean, he's a confident person, but he's -- he's a guy who thinks he knows better than you. Hence the nanny state. He's an irritable iguana. He looks at you, and he doesn't like how you eat. He thinks -- he thinks soda is somehow more damaging than ISIS or trans fats or...
GUILFOYLE: Who does he sound like? Obama.
GUTFELD: Oh, I thought you were going to say me.
GUILFOYLE: He's better than you.
GUTFELD: But you know, it's where billionaires -- billionaires, the thing about billionaires, nobody tells them when they're wrong about things because they're scared. I mean, he has so many crazy ideas, you know, about soda and stuff. Nobody ever tells him he's wrong.
ROGINSKY: And I bet you all the people around him on Park Avenue and on the Acela train, not that he ever takes it, are telling him to go for it; he's definitely going to win.
ROGINSKY: They're all going to be like, "I can't believe -- you know, we all voted for him. How'd he lose?" There you go.
GUTFELD: I'm waiting for Zuckerberg.
BOLLING: Can I throw a little conspiracy in this? May I? I have to. It's what I do.
GUTFELD: That could be your segment.
BOLLING: Maybe it's -- with the strength in Bernie Sanders' numbers lately, maybe it's getting the Democrats to say, "Hey, look, if it were a Bernie Sanders nominee, Bloomberg might jump in and ruin everything. So why not get behind Hillary Clinton? He's closer."
ROGINSKY: Pretty good conspiracy.
GUILFOYLE: That's actually one of your better ones.
PERINO: Bot bad.
GUILFOYLE: We should make a full screen, if he has a good one like that.
BOLLING: What do you mean one of my better ones? They're all pretty good.
PERINO: Check it out on Snopes later on.
All right. After Sarah Palin introduced Trump last week, you knew -- Peter goes on Snopes all the time.
PERINO: You knew this was going to happen.
GUILFOYLE: Outed Peter.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TINA FEY, FORMER CAST MEMBER, NBC'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE": "We're mad, we've been had, and we're not so glad," quoth the Lorax.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Tina Fey reprised her infamous role Saturday night, and we've got more to come in "The Fastest Seven" next.
BOLLING: Welcome back. Time for...
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: Fastest 7
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: ... "The Fastest Seven Minutes on Television." Three luring stories, seven lively minutes, one laconic host.
First up, funnyman actor Danny De Vito making news over the weekend, calling America a racist country.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DANNY DE VITO, ACTOR: It's unfortunate that the entire country, you know, is a racist country. So it's one example of the fact that, even though some people, you know, have given great performances in movies, they weren't even thought about. Sometimes it's manifested in things like this, and it's illuminated. But just generally speaking, we're racists. We're a bunch of racists.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Wow. De Vito made those comments at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, this weekend. The list of actors accusing the Academy Awards of racism is growing. Personally, I can only imagine how many jokes and comments by presenters and awardees this year will bring. Remind me not to watch.
Greg, can you imagine what that award is going to be like?
GUTFELD: He gives short people a bad name. You know...
GUILFOYLE: Do something about it.
GUTFELD: I think, OK, could we just -- the elephant in the room, the tiny elephant in the room, is he's high as a kite. I'm sorry, the way he was delivering those words, I've been there; I know that.
If he had just replaced "country" with "earthlings," he would have been right, because earthlings are race conscious. You know, we have evolved -- we evolved as creatures to identify likeness as a method of survival. So if that is -- you know, race -- being race-conscious exists. That doesn't make you racist. He's just high.
BOLLING: What about you?
GUILFOYLE: Remember the Limoncello thing?
GUILFOYLE: You do? Yes.
GUTFELD: He was wasted. Who gets wasted on lemon shots?
PERINO: I could.
GUTFELD: I don't mean that in a bad way.
GUILFOYLE: After dinner is over.
PERINO: I was just going to say that, you know, hyperbole is the new way to get attention. So you're not going to get attention if you say, there are some people in the country who are racist. You are only going to get media attention if you say, "The entire country is racist!" And then you can back up from that.
ROGINSKY: I'm just glad he and Rhea Perlman are back together. I hope they doesn't cause her to leave him again, because that was an absurdly stupid comment. So don't leave him over that, Rhea.
BOLLING: Final thought?
GUILFOYLE: Like him, didn't like that at all.
BOLLING: Very good. All right. Stay right there, K.G.
Next up, sometimes the funniest bits are the unexpected ones. "Saturday Night Live" went with the obvious, but it was pretty darn funny anyway. Sarah Palin and the Donald played by Tina Fey and Darrell Hammond.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
FEY: I'm here for all you teachers and Teamsters, you farmers and charmers. Whether you're a mom or 2 broke girls or 3 men and a baby or a rock 'n' roller, holy roller, pushing stroller, pro bowler with an abscessed molar.
DARRELL HAMMOND, CAST MEMBER, "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE": She's a firecracker. She's a real pistol. She's crazy, isn't she?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: All right, K.G. Your turn.
GUILFOYLE: Aww. I was impressed, and I was like, "Who overnighted the jacket very quickly to make sure that they had it?" It was spot on. It was a nice little attention to detail. Winning is in the details.
Anyway, Tina Fey, she's fun. She's talented and so is Hammond.
BOLLING: What do you say, Jules?
ROGINSKY: I thought the original was much funnier, because this is not as funny as what I watched. For real. But maybe I'm being a little...
BOLLING: Hmm. Mean. Mean.
ROGINSKY: I'm not mean.
PERINO: I'm going to agree. I thought that the original was more entertaining, and partly, that's because I don't think Darrell Hammond does a very good Donald Trump. Donald Trump does an excellent Donald Trump. He is better and funnier when he is just himself. Anyone that's trying to imitate him, they just don't have it right yet on "Saturday Night Live."
BOLLING: What do you say, Greg?
GUTFELD: She might be the most -- possess the most uncanny impression of any person ever. Because when you watch that, you do believe it's Sarah Palin. And I agree, nothing beats the original. The original is far crazier, more insane than that.
BOLLING: All right. Finally, the NFL playoffs were awesome.
GUTFELD: In a good way.
BOLLING: Were awesome. Denver edged out Tom Brady's Patriots -- sorry -- and a very confident young man, Cam Newton, put a good old-fashioned smack- down on the Cardinals. Now here's the elder statesman of football, Peyton Manning, post-game.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PEYTON MANNING, DENVER BRONCOS QUARTERBACK: When you're not able to contribute because you can't participate, you try to be patient. And you work yourself back into position to be available to participate and to try to make a contribution.
My role has been different, and my contributions are different. And -- but I'm fortunate and grateful that I have the opportunity to contribute still in some way. And I'm very -- it's a great honor to be going back to the Super Bowl. Playing Super Bowl 50. It's -- I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be a fun two weeks.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: All right, Dana. Your mascot theory went 2 for 2.
PERINO: I know. I was wondering if he would pick that up. Yes, mascot theory.
I'm thrilled for Denver. My sister and her husband were at the game. And it looked like so much fun, with all the orange, the spirit of the whole game. But I watched it with my husband, who is a pessimist when he's watching, so every single play is like, "OK, here comes Brady. It's all over now." For all three -- well, the first quarter was good, and then the last three quarters he thought I -- that we were going to lose.
BOLLING: So K.G., Dana's mascot theory, the Broncos are tougher than Patriots, because they're human and they're a horse versus human. And then the Panthers...
PERINO: I said they could outrun them.
BOLLING: A Panther can kill a Cardinal, obviously.
GUILFOYLE: I don't know. The problem is, when you miss a field goal like that, and then you rely and put it all on a two-point conversion, which is very difficult, although their guy, statistically, was two for two, which is, like, the highest in the NFL. Didn't come together for them, but I think the game showed you, never count Tom Brady out, because despite getting run over all night with no offensive line, he held up pretty well. He's pretty battle-tested. And not just a pretty boy. But I love Peyton.
GUTFELD: Yes. It's Super Bowl 50. The motto is, "Still younger than Madonna."
It's -- I'm boycotting the Super Bowl. It's racist. There are no Czechs. There are no Kurds, Koreans, Icelanders, Estonians playing on either roster. Worse, at halftime, they're having Cold Play, which is the whitest band on the planet. They're like a beta male activist version of music.
GUILFOYLE: I thought you hated Maroon 5 more.
BOLLING: Did you notice...
GUTFELD: I hate Cold Play more.
BOLLING: ... fifty, the Super Bowl went to numbers instead of Roman numerals for the first time.
ROGINSKY: Is that still younger than Peyton Manning?
BOLLING: I do.
GUILFOYLE: Boo, Julie.
ROGINSKY: I -- listen, I don't really care about football. But this allows Tom Brady to spend a lot of time looking at his pool covers now, making sure it's the right kind of white to match with the snow. He and Gisele can take care of that now.
BOLLING: So mean. Haters. Don't hate.
ROGINSKY: I am.
BOLLING: Dana -- I have to ask, Dana, can a Bronco beat a Panther?
PERINO: I am working on the explanation of that theory, and I will report on it later in the week.
GUTFELD: Getting married (ph) in your conservative universe?
PERINO: I'm no conservative.
BOLLING: A unicorn ends up coming out, if they do.
All right. It's been a mild winter for East Coasters until this past weekend. Snowpocalypse struck. We'll tell you what we did during the snowstorm of the century next.
ROGINSKY: It was a very slippery start to the workweek today for tens of millions of Americans here on the East Coast. The blizzard that shut down Washington and New York City is now in the history books, and we can all attest it was quite a storm. What did we do during it? Let's go around the table.
K.G., what did you do?
GUILFOYLE: It was fun, actually. And it was very pretty. And I just got my windows cleaned so I could actually see. I could do that. I could see so far, I was into the future.
GUTFELD: And I could see in. Thank you.
GUILFOYLE: That's a problem, actually. A few weirdos out there.
But other than that, the sun -- I mean, the snow was very fun. And we went out, and that's Ronan who's getting quite big as you see. He's got...
GUILFOYLE: ... long legs. Anyway, so that was on Sunday. He was doing all the snow, doing all the sledding, and that was fun. A lot of kids were out there. That's me with my hat on. Didn't want to mess up my hair, but did anyway.
And then this is a really great shot, I think. One of the restaurants by where I live, outside of it, which the lights shining. So it was really pretty. I though it showed kind of New York at its finest.
PERINO: Yes. Eric.
GUILFOYLE: And thank God I have salami of the month club, Dana.
PERINO: Yes. I wish I had it.
BOLLING: Friday was as planned. River Palm Paris. Unfortunately, I just missed Geraldo. He had just left, and I had just gotten there.
Yes, but Saturday. OK, we'll get to Saturday in a second. But so Friday, this happens Friday night into Saturday. Right? That's my son's car.
The next picture is Adrienne and I, ended up going to Dumore (ph) for a town -- that's Saturday night.
Sunday morning, check this one out. This is Eric shoveling out that car. It took him, like, an hour to get that car out.
And the guy who had the right idea straight through the whole weekend is the dog, Freedom. There he is.
PERINO: What a great shot.
BOLLING: He was done.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God. That fire was so nice.
BOLLING: He had the right idea.
GUILFOYLE: Wow! Dana.
PERINO: We were out and about with Jasper, who was sick last week but rallied. He was better by Saturday. And Central Park was like Disneyland. There's Jasper with his name in the snow. He was there marking his Jonas appearance.
This is my favorite picture of the weekend. He loves to catch snowballs. Then he and I were there together. And then he really hates the salt that they have to use to help melt the ice. And so he wouldn't walk on the sidewalk. So Peter had to carry him in.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.
PERINO: There is pet-friendly that you can get, building owners, if you want to try that out.
BOLLING: Burns their feet?
PERINO: Burns their feet. But we had so much fun. And it was joyous at Central Park.
GUTFELD: You made him carry an 80-pound dog after a snowstorm?
PERINO: Well, he's only 62 pounds.
ROGINSKY: You're being a little bit of a Debbie Downer.
GUILFOYLE: Because he lost a little bit of weight when he was not feeling well recently. But they're different from the pictures you sent me of Jasper.
GUTFELD: Yes. Those are disgusting.
GUTFELD: Well, I do -- I make snow angels, which are basically marshmallows drenched in bourbon.
GUTFELD: And then I eat them until I pass out.
I watched a terrible movie. I -- first I came to work, taped a show, then took a subway back and then watched a horrible movie called "The Intern." Probably the worst movie I've seen in years. It has Robert de Niro and Anne Hathaway. It's just a dismal movie.
PERINO: I saw that way, way back, and I loved it.
GUTFELD: Yes. It's good for watching movies.
GUILFOYLE: Your show aired like 10 times, and that was good.
GUTFELD: Yes, that was good.
ROGINSKY: So I was -- I was stuck with a 3-year-old by myself all day with nothing to do, and I did not pop any wine, which I have to say...
ROGINSKY: ... is kind of a congratulations.
Then we went sledding in Central Park the next day, at Strawberry Fields in Central Park. It's beautiful.
PERINO: Was it a lot of fun?
ROGINSKY: It was incredible.
ROGINSKY: But as we discussed, Dana, there are a lot of crazy Type A parents out there who yell at their kids about actually not doing the right thing on the sleds, which is insane.
All right. "One More Thing" is up next.
GUILFOYLE: It's time now for "One More Thing."
So there's a very important interview that was conducted that's going to be "On the Record" tonight that Greta was able to get. So I changed my "One More Thing," because you cannot miss this tonight.
She sat down with a Christian pastor, Saeed Abedini, earlier today for the first and only interview. It's going to air tonight, "On the Record," 7 p.m. Eastern. He opens up about his ordeal in the Iranian prison, from torture behind bars to his release and ultimate return to America.
He also broke some news during this interview to Greta, talking about the two months that he spent in confinement, in the same cell as former U.S. Marine Amir Hekmati. And my God, what he has to say is chilling. Take a listen to this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SAEED ABEDINI, FORMER IRANIAN HOSTAGE: When they send me to other cell (ph), which Amir Hekmati, the Marine, was over there, and they bound my eyes; they took me to his room. And I had been there, I think, for almost 60 days.
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN, HOST, "ON THE RECORD": In the same room with Amir Hekmati?
VAN SUSTEREN: You guys talk about things? Communicate with each other?
ABEDINI: Yes. First when I remove my band, my eye band and I saw her [SIC], I was, like, very heartbroken to see what they did to our Marine, you know.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Can you imagine? You don't want to miss. It's going to be compelling and important. And think about this as a country, Iran, that we did a deal with. So the future is going to tell the tale on that.
All right. Eric.
BOLLING: Held just for being a Christian, if I'm not mistaken, right?
BOLLING: All right. So in Rogers, Minnesota, there's a group called Rogers Area Youth Basketball Association. It's a high school -- girls' high-school team who is supposed to compete in a tournament this weekend. But they're so good, the league threw them out of the league. Their own league, they're thrown out. Here's the coach and a player.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How are you supposed to play worse, you know, just to make them happy?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The teams are threatening to, I guess, either forfeit the games against us or flat-out quit the league. So for some reason they kicked us out.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: No, let them lose. These girls should compete. This is what's wrong with America right here. You know, the participation trophy.
BOLLING: If they're that good, let them win. That's what -- that's what the country was founded on. By the way, that coach is to meet with the league sometime today. We'll report back.
GUILFOYLE: All right, good. Thanks for bringing that story.
PERINO: All right. My sister sent this to me this morning. It's very exciting news. It's actually not news, but it's fun.
Elkmont, Alabama, there was a woman named April and her bloodhound named Ludivine, having a totally normal day. April opens the door to let the dog out to have a pee, and guess what? He wanders off, and he gets onto a trail where there's a half marathon being run. And he starts running with all the runners. And he keeps running, and he comes in at the finish line 7th overall, time of one hour, 32 minutes and 56 seconds.
April didn't even know this was going on, until her friends sent her pictures of this dog with a medal on, the seventh -- coming in seventh. They are thinking about changing the name of this half marathon to Hound Dog Half because of Ludivine's impressive run.
GUILFOYLE: That's amazing.
BOLLING: Thirteen miles.
PERINO: Pretty impressive.
GUTFELD: All right.
Hello? It's me.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CAROL COSTELLO, CNN ANCHOR: I have to leave it there.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We'll have to leave it there.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I have to leave it there. I have to leave it there.
CHUCK TODD, NBC NEWS: I'm going to leave it there.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We have to leave it there.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I have to leave it there.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We'll leave it there.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I've got to leave it there. Thanks, guys.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Let's leave it there.
GUILFOYLE: Fine, good. Nice.
ROGINSKY: So I was in -- I was in Vero Beach a couple weeks ago, visiting my friend Gail Gordon (ph) and her parents, Judy and Jim Velp (ph), and I have to say I've never in my life ever seen people who love "The Five" as they do in Vero Beach. These people are obsessed with.
PERINO: They like this?
ROGINSKY: They asked me, including that bird. They asked me all about you guys. I just want to say a shout-out to them, because truly, I think nobody in that town does any...
GUILFOYLE: That was the picture? That was the picture of our fans?
ROGINSKY: A picture of a fan with a solitary bird staring longingly at the water. Everybody loved us.
GUILFOYLE: Set your DVR's, so you never miss an episode of "The Five." That's it for us. "Special Report" is next, and also don't forget, Greta's exclusive with Pastor Abedini tonight, 7 p.m. Eastern.
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