Mainstream media pummels CNN for 'disaster' debate

Republican presidential candidates voice frustrations with format


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 17, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."

The reviews are in from last night's presidential debate. And the biggest loser, CNN, the network is getting demolished by the press and we're not talking about conservative media. This is from The New York Times, quote, "The network throw the candidates into the ring, the only thing missing was a ring girl carrying a card above her head." POLITICO called it a "Three- hour debate from hell. Too long and too loosely to governed." And check out the cover of the New York Daily News today, Clown News Network. Now even the candidates weren't happy with the event last night, listen.


CHRIS CHRISTIE, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Everyone who's there was a candidate or two who just decided they were going to run everybody over.

It was really getting kind of boring and tedious I'm sure, for the folks on the other side of the camera.

MARCO RUBIO, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: It looks like they were promoting a pay-per-view boxing match. And of course, once the thing started, you could see very clearly, early on, that it was going to be one of these things. Or if you wanted more time to speak, you are gonna have to interrupt somebody and jump in.

SCOTT WALKER, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Last three questions to three hours, according to that data which actually have to interrupt.

DONALD TRUMP, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: You know three hours for debate is too long. It's ridiculous, actually.

Gone with the wind is three hours and 20 minutes, right?

JOHN KASICH, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: If I were sitting at home and watching this back and forth, I'd be inclined that to turn it off.


BOLLING: All right, Dana, your thoughts?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I just thought it took CNN to get all the candidates to agree.


PERINO: On one thing. Actually, we don't have the clip of Dr. Ben Carson who, of course, in his gentle way said that he didn't feel like it was a great format, especially for him. And that he would have liked to be able to speak a little bit more. Not easy with 11 candidates, of course Fox knows that when -- from the previous debate. I think that though, the consensus from media critics is that CNN didn't have as good a night as they could have. I do -- my one big quibble, I don't understand announcing that you are going to pit the candidates against one another. As if that is like, a wonderful thing to advocate for your network going into it because it put everybody on edge and it was -- it was looked so aggressive. I think if I were those guys and doing this again, if you want to do that tactic, great. Just don't announce it.

BOLLING: And not -- not only did they announce, they went right at it.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, you know, my only criticism was that it was too short.


PERINO: Thank you.

GUTFELD: It should be an endurance test. I want people -- I want -- you know, if you're going to be president, you're going to be up all night making decisions. It should have been seven, eight hours long, but they blew a huge opportunity with the plane, it was -- but, beautiful plane. They should have been seated on the wings or around the plane. I think that would have been more attractive. I think -- I don't know, you know what? We knew from the start that, you know Trump is an aggressive guy, they like to tumble. So they created an arena for it. I don't think it's CNN's fault. We have to remember, about a month ago, the FNC was getting trashed for the.

PERINO: Yes, other.

GUTFELD: It's very similar things, and I don't remember CNN making fun of us over that.

BOLLING: Very quickly, I could -- I agree with you for different reasons. I could have watched it for seven hours.


BOLLING: I just absolutely loved watching the debate, so I'm looking forward to the next one.

GUILFOYLE: But they were fading.

BOLLING: And by the way, I think Trump says if he's going to do it again, he wants his plane in the background.


GUTFELD: Of course.

BOLLING: Instead (inaudible) plane.

GUILFOYLE: I mean, why not? A great.

PERINO: Is that Reagan's plane?

GUILFOYLE: Opportunity. But here's the thing, it just took too long. I think it was too long and they were getting a little bit of like fade and fatigue at the end of it.


GUILFOYLE: Like they literally looked like they were going to pass out. It was like.

PERINO: But you should have seen Gutfeld.

GUILFOYLE: No, they reminded me of all the women the night that I delivered. I think it was like a rough crew was there. They're like sweating, it's like -- I don't even know. They needed some like smelling salts aromatherapy.

GUTFELD: So you're comparing -- you compare the debate to childbirth.

PERINO: They needed a smell freight.

GUILFOYLE: Is that awesome?



BOLLING: No, I really heard that there was a line for the bathroom, like in the commercial break.

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Oh, surely (ph).

BOLLING: And they were fighting to get in there first.

GUTFELD: That was a cake stimulant.


WILLIAMS: You know a lot of this.


WILLIAMS: A lot of this I think.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, fiber energy drinks.

WILLIAMS: First of all, you could have watched for seven hours?

BOLLING: Yeah, I love it.

WILLIAMS: I got a life.

GUILFOYLE: You're kidding.

BOLLING: No, no, I'm not kidding.

WILLIAMS: You know what your life.

BOLLING: I swear to God on my life.

WILLIAMS: You know I'm going to help you.

BOLLING: Swear to God. I absolutely do love it.

WILLIAMS: I'm going to get you some books, the movies.

BOLLING: No, no.

WILLIAMS: You're going to have some fun, man.

BOLLING: That was better TV. It has more.

GUILFOYLE: No, he likes political theater, but the problem is.

WILLIAMS: That is not great TV.

GUILFOYLE: By the end, it was like, what was your childhood dogging?

WILLIAMS: Yeah, yeah. There you go -- look, it became tedious. But you know what happened was.


WILLIAMS: They were reacting to the success of the Fox debate. So they looked at the Fox debate and said, you know what, when you look at Megyn Kelly, when you look at Chris Wallace, when you look at Bret Baier, they became and their questions were so sharp, they became the focus and as a result, people were talking about them, not the cast. We're going to have the candidates go at each other.


WILLIAMS: And what they did, though, was not controlled. If you can --it's good to encourage conversation and debate. But what happened was there was no control. If you know, Brit Hume said last night on O'Reilly, he said, "They should have had a buzzer." Because what happened is you have people feeling like one, they're talking over each other or they can't get in.


GUTFELD: Special Report.

BOLLING: I hate.



WILLIAMS: Well, what?

BOLLING: I hate to do this to you Juan, but we have to move on. We have a lot of sounds and for that reasons.


BOLLING: The moments that stood out last night and K.G., your thoughts? You're first.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I loved that Carly Fiorina. I think she had a hugely powerful moment that everybody loved. Let's take a listen to this when she's talking about Planned Parenthood.


CARLY FIORINA, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: As regards to Planned Parenthood, anyone who has watched this video tape, I dare Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama to watch these tapes. Watch a fully formed fetus on the table. Its heart beating, its legs kicking, while someone says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain. This is about the character of our nation. And if we will not stand up and force President Obama to veto this bill, shame on us.





BOLLING: K.G., she.

GUILFOYLE: The powerful moment.

BOLLING: A lot of people say she won the debate last night.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, a lot of people thought she did very well. I was one of them. I thought Rubio also had a great night and Christie had some great points too, but Carly was powerful. She did an extremely well-prepared, very versatile on the variety of subject. I think she also had another great moment, which I won't toss to another one, don't worry. But on foreign policy, she had a lot of good specifics there and she just seemed very well equipped. And maybe she might change her mind later on some of the things she said. But she had answers and specifics, which I like. And then you can always invite other people into the arena, the experts to make some decisions.

WILLIAMS: You know I thought she loved being emotional.

BOLLING: By the way, can I just point out, there's a lot of pushback on.

PERINO: Oh, Juan.

BOLLING: Yeah -- (inaudible) we don't really disclose over that really quickly.

WILLIAMS: No, no, no, but that's what I was going to say.

BOLLING: That's a lot of pushback on the fact.

WILLIAMS: Yes, thank you.

BOLLING: Of that comment, of the.

WILLIAMS: Yes. Oh, Juan. Oh, Juan. Oh, Juan, yeah because you know what is not right. I mean, she appeals to the far right's emotions that she -- there's no such video, right? And then secondly, the thing about she's encouraging a government shutdown. Is that good for republicans?

BOLLING: All right.

WILLIAMS: But it played well.

BOLLING: Throw it to your side now, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Well, I think that the moment, really, that everyone -- I think got a kick out of, especially if you've been in a Brooklyn school yard was Trump to Jeb Bush, when they were going back and forth and Bush interrupted him.


JEB BUSH, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: You got Hillary Clinton to go to your wedding.

TRUMP: That's true.

BUSH: Because you gave her money.

TRUMP: That's true.

BUSH: Maybe it works for Hillary Clinton.

TRUMP: I was -- excuse me Jeb.

BUSH: It's not gonna work for anybody on this.


BUSH: On this stage.

TRUMP: I was a businessman. I got along with Clinton. I got along with everybody.

BUSH: Yeah.

TRUMP: That was my job, to get along with people. I didn't want.

BUSH: But the simple fact is.

TRUMP: Excuse me. One second.

BUSH: No. The simple fact is Donald.

TRUMP: I didn't want -- Jeb. OK.

BUSH: You did not take.

TRUMP: More energy tonight, I like that.




WILLIAMS: You know, and then later, later, of course, he tried to get Trump to apologize for what he said about his Mexican wife. And you know what Trump didn't play that game. And finally, I thought picking up on this, you saw Jeb Bush and at the end, when he came back and said that his handle if he was -- if the secret service has to give him a handle as president, would be ever race I think it was all about...

GUILFOYLE: Let me give a high five on that.

WILLIAMS: No energy, yeah, yeah.

GUILFOYLE: That was cute.

WILLIAMS: That was cute, thank you.

BOLLING: But you know I was surprised that Trump did that because he's been very steadfast in what he's been saying about Jeb Bush, low energy for literally two months. He took that off the table last night.

WILLIAMS: No, he didn't. No, I think that was a play on it. That was talking about, oh, you have no energy tonight. Oh, you're going to come back at me, big boy? You know, come on.


GUILFOYLE: He's dictating his behavior.

WILLIAMS: Right -- yes. Thank you, Kimberly, you got it.

PERINO: Now I agree with you Eric, but I also thought it was a magnanimous moment and a smart one for Trump.


BOLLING: I get off here. Thought of yours?

PERINO: OK. There's another one with Carly Fiorina and Trump. This had to go -- deal with the comment in Rolling Stone magazine that Trump made about her face.


FIORINA: You know it's interesting to me, Mr. Trump said that he heard Mr. Bush very clearly. And what Mr. Bush said. "I think women all over this country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said."


TRUMP: I think she's got a beautiful face, and I think she's a beautiful woman.


PERINO: So I used that Frank Luntz focus through.

BOLLING: I was wondering what.

PERINO: Graph to show what -- it's not just me, right? So moderates and conservatives watching the debate thought that she had a good moment and that he didn't at that moment. The other thing is pretty interesting about women. We talk about having this ability, Kimberly, even here or wherever we are. Women have ability to give a look. You don't have to say a word.

GUILFOYLE: You've got one.

PERINO: You have a look, I have -- you've got them. I mean, we, women have the ability to have a look. Guys don't have it as much.

GUTFELD: That's sexist. I have a look.

PERINO: Oh well, we win on the look thing.


GUILFOYLE: Yeah. And she gave him a look when she said that too.

BOLLING: I'm going to give the ladies the win on this one.


GUILFOYLE: Smart man.

BOLLING: Exactly. Can I say something?

GUTFELD: So sexist.


BOLLING: When these -- Dana, when these people are in the audience, these dials they go like this, is that what they do?

PERINO: I've never been invited. Frank should invite me. I've got some opinions.

BOLLING: All right.


GUTFELD: Mind, I didn't -- I picked a moment that I didn't like. So let's roll that moment.


TRUMP: I am totally in favor of vaccines, but I want smaller doses over a longer period of time. Just the other day, two years old, two and a half years old, a child, a beautiful child went to have the vaccine and came back. And a week later, got a tremendous fever, got very, very sick, now its autistic.

BEN CARSON, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: We have extremely well-documented proof that there's no autism associate with vaccinations. But it is true that we are probably giving way too many, in too short a period of time.

RAND PAUL, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: One of the greatest, one of the greatest medical discoveries of all time were the vaccines, but I'm also for freedom. I'm also little concerned about how they're bunched up.


GUTFELD: OK. This is a really bad thing to happen to the Republican Party, an anti -- hysterical anti-science point of view about vaccines. And using the anecdote with a child is destructive and it's ignorant because it's not science. There's -- this -- it's a false causal argument to say because vaccines and autism symptoms appear at the same time. Ergo, the vaccines cause autism. That's the same as saying, you know when you have ice cream and you get sunburns in the summertime, therefore ice cream causes sunburns. It's stupid and it's bad for republicans. And not only that, it's deadly and it's dangerous. We're seeing outbreaks of measles all around the world. We're seeing in Australia, we're seeing in Africa where people are actually dying. Meanwhile, we're having out breaks in Disneyland. Why is this happening? Because people are listening to bozos who are questioning the validity of what is really a wall. Science built a wall against disease and it's called vaccines. If we're going to be for a wall for immigrations, it should be a wall, for a wall against vaccines --

PERINO: Disease.

GUTFELD: For disease.

BOLLING: Did the other two agree with them, now that.

GUTFELD: It was terrible. They're doctors. And I'm glad Ben Carson feebly, came up and said something, but they are doctors and they have a responsibility to defend the profession because there are doctors. Like them everyday who have to confront this argument. Whenever they go in there and have worried mothers or else people who don't want vaccines, they are the ones in the frontlines. And those doctors are on TV and they should have come out, they should been forth right about it. Ben slightly did it, but he's so soft spoken, he was barely there. And Rand, who cares about Rand?


WILLIAMS: You know, but I think.


WILLIAMS: You know hats off, that's just so strong and so right. I'm so glad you said that. And I like what Carson said it when he said.


WILLIAMS: So maybe he's an OK doctor?



WILLIAMS: Yeah, that was good.

PERINO: Republicans aren't the only ones with that problem, though.

GUTFELD: Yeah, while Hillary had the same issue.

PERINO: Hillary issue.

GUTFELD: Issues in primary 2008. She said that she was going to look into the causes of autism, including vaccines.


BOLLING: And I think, didn't Christie also.


BOLLING: On that as well? Maybe they stay away from that one.

GUTFELD: Yeah, exactly.


PERINO: Maybe they go with the science.


PERINO: I mean that would be better.

GUTFELD: Yeah, party of science, people.

BOLLING: Well, OK. How about this, I'll just throw to my sound bite. The early debate was also good. I thought it was going to be horrible, but there was a point where I think Lindsey Graham stepped up and he was really relatable. He was funny and certainly turned my mind around that about that candidate. Listen.


LINDSEY GRAHAM, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Ronald Reagan did a couple of really big things that we should all remember. He sat down with Tip O'Neill, the most liberal guy in the entire House. They started drinking together. That's the first thing I'm going to do as president, we're going to drink more.


GRAHAM: And what did these two great Irishman do? They found a way to save Social Security from bankruptcy by adjusting the age of retirement from 65 to 67.


BOLLING: And see what he did there? He was not only funny and relatable. He also took a funny story and then turned it into a policy idea. And that was spot on. I've been really hard on Lindsey Graham.

GUILFOYLE: And he showed an open-minded.

BOLLING: And he -- and you know what, he showed -- maybe if some of the other people on the stage.


BOLLING: Would take a cue from Lindsey Graham's performance.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah. He -- and he needed that. You know he needed that last night and you actually got the ability to like see who he is, get a little -- to know him a little bit better and he showcased very well.

GUTFELD: What happen if he doesn't -- if you're still on that table for three days -- for three times? You got to call it quits. He was the best.

PERINO: Well he, but he, definitely improved from his first time.



PERINO: So even if he doesn't go any further, he actually.



PERINO: That's the last thing that you remember. I thought it was great. And he looks like he was having fun.

BOLLING: Yeah, Right.

GUTFELD: Yeah, maybe he had a drink.



GUTFELD: Maybe that's the answer.

PERINO: Maybe that's the secret.

BOLLING: That's the answer to the secret.

GUTFELD: That's what I do.

PERINO: They shine.

GUILFOYLE: Jindal did decent, too. He was good.


WILLIAMS: Yeah, but what.

BOLLING: And he wants.

WILLIAMS: But you know what?

BOLLING: The early debate, it wasn't -- there was a.


GUILFOYLE: Because there was much more organized, the format and you could actually hear what people said.

GUTFELD: Well, you.

GUILFOYLE: Because that like, you know dog pile, like frenzy that they had. Like, we're back in Rome. You know feed them to the lions.

GUTFELD: It's 25 minutes per person.

GUILFOYLE: It's a joke.


WILLIAMS: Yeah, but what happen? You know.


WILLIAMS: You know, what was cool about that first debate was, I -- that's the only time I saw Hugh Hewitt and Dana Bash. Where there are at the other debate?

BOLLING: In (inaudible) with the -- Juan, you are making such an important point. I mean, they build this issue here and Dana Bash were gonna be there. She was supposed to be the conservative voice of the RNC...

WILLIAMS: Yeah, I just, I think.

BOLLING: He was non-existent, unfortunately.

WILLIAMS: No, but at the first debate -- yeah.

BOLLING: No, no. I'm talking about the main.

WILLIAMS: Right, right, yeah.

GUTFELD: I ran into him at that gift shop.


GUILFOYLE: Because he was taking a break.

GUTFELD: He signed my book.


BOLLING: Excellent.

GUILFOYLE: Oh my, gosh.


BOLLING: All right, Americans want a president who understands the threats we face.


BOLLING: Who will keep the country safe? Which candidate stood out last night on that front? Our thoughts when The Five returns.


GUTFELD: Yesterday, I said I hoped we'd find a candidate who understands terror, the same way Reagan understood communism. Did we see that last night? Well, Rubio was positively Rubian.


RUBIO: Let's remember what the president said. He said the attack that he was going to conduct was going to be a pin prick. Well, the United States military was not built to conduct pin prick attacks. If the United States military is going to be engaged by a commander-in-chief, it should only be engaged in an endeavor to win because you better be able to lead our country on the first day.


RUBIO: Not six months from now, not a year from now, on the first day in office.


GUTFELD: Hmm. But the strongest voice came from the mini me debate by a guy who knows the big picture.


GRAHAM: I'm running for president to destroy radical Islam, to win the War on Terror, to protect you and your family.

Pull the caliphate up by its roots and more kill every one of these bastards --

For you, the wedding cake baker or the gay couple or the Baptist preacher, radical Islam would kill you all if they could.

Let's don't lose sight of the big picture here.

I will win a war that we can't afford to lose.


GUTFELD: I'll tell you.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: I am so sorry that I've made fun of him in the past. But the hard truths heard last night, revealed what also wasn't said. As the conversation went deep, others went for coffee. It was a smart move. Any conversation rooted in substance can be hairy for those candidates who don't have time to read. But it's a fact. We need adults in the room now who are dead serious about what's going to kill us.

The head of the U.S. Central Command just told Congress, only four to five trainees from the half billion dollar plan to prep 500 fighters, ended up fighting in Syria, four or five. And so as Syria unravels and refugees flee, we need a plan to deal with failing states and the creeps planning awful acts within. What do we do about the jihadists coming here and those already here? What about the massive cyberattacks we just experienced? Will the more vile target hospitals or transportation? If they kill the power, people die.

This is what's called "terror change": The escalating risk created by new technology married to apocalyptic terror. Each day, some ghoul gets one step closer to doing something unspeakably bad. If you don't understand this threat or refuse to learn or prefer to coast on platitudes, do us a favor and bow out now, you're a danger to yourself and to this country.

My point here, these candidates need to read more. It's an important thing. Reading is fundamental. We learned that. So I want everybody here to suggest one book. I'm going to start, since basically, I'm getting my information from one book. It's called The Future of Violence. It's by Wittes and Blum from Brookings Institution. It's about the new kinds of terror married to technology. Every single person in America should read this book. The first chapter will change the way you think about the future and scare the living wits out of you. Dana?

PERINO: I'm going to go a little further back and say that the autobiography of Ulysses S. Grant, written by.




GUTFELD: I was -- It was Bill O'Reilly.


GUTFELD: Healing Grant (ph).


PERINO: That's definitely considered one of the best autobiographies by any president. Talks a lot about his time in the military, it doesn't --it's very well written. I read years ago, it's big.


PERINO: It's a thick one. It's gonna take a while to get through. But I would recommend it. I think it's a good one.

GUTFELD: Excellent. Eric?

BOLLING: So I took the segment that has to win the presidency, not necessarily to solve the terror crisis. However, you want to know something, maybe some of the things that these people would learn in these books, might help them. I think since everyone is going after Donald Trump, he's clearly the one that they all wanted to attack. We saw it all last night, we saw side by side. Anytime some spoke, there's a side by side, no matter who is speaking. Trump came up next to them, so they're all going after him. So it would be cool the other candidates who aren't named Trump, to read his book, The Art of the Deal. You got to read it. You got to know what's going on in a guys mind, if gonna take -- if you want to take him down as the leader. And Donald Trump, because they're all going after him, should read the Art of War, Sun Tzu. It's an amazing book. It's really long.

GUTFELD: You are shameless.

BOLLING: Is it the truth.

GUTFELD: Shameless.

BOLLING: The Art of War. What's wrong with The Art of War?

GUTFELD: Trump reading Trump's book. I love you for that.

BOLLING: No, no, no.

GUTFELD: I love it.

BOLLING: I actually wanted to say -- I actually pick your three books, but that would look shameless.


BOLLING: Look, I think The Art of War.


BOLLING: Which is 2000 years old.


BOLLING: Absolutely.

WILLIAMS: How could he pick any other book? I mean, even Trump says the only better book is the Bible.


WILLIAMS: Yeah, that is.

BOLLING: It's a memoir. Those you learn the.

GUTFELD: Eric, are you saying you hate the Bible?


BOLLING: I can recite some passages.


WILLIAMS: Oh, really? That's good.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my goodness. We are the same moderator.



WILLIAMS: Oh, I thought.


WILLIAMS: I would take.

GUILFOYLE: Juan sleepy day, he's low energy.

WILLIAMS: You know what I saw was up late last night.

GUILFOYLE: I know, I can tell.

WILLIAMS: And then.

GUTFELD: How does it different?


WILLIAMS: How does it different? Hey, it's different because then at the hotel, they were like banging a building or something. New York -- I don't know. You don't want to sleep here. Anyway, Marvin Kalbs' book, The Road to War: Presidential Commitments Honored and Betrayed, 2013 and this is a terrific book because it takes you back to, well, you don't want to repeat mistakes. And that -- this is what this is about because you see how previous presidents got into senseless wars, and then had a hard time getting out of them and caused us a lot of treasure and blood. So it's important to understand that when you make this commitment, there's real people and real consequences.

GUTFELD: Well, that was.

PERINO: So it's not acting?

GUTFELD: Yeah, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I agree.

GUTFELD: She just destroyed you.


WILLIAMS: Oh, absolutely.


WILLIAMS: Because she does it regularly to my pleasure.


GUTFELD: I have no idea what that means.


GUTFELD: Really.

GUILFOYLE: Moving on. OK. So anyway, before Juan falls asleep, I picked a book that they probably, I hope have all read and I'm gonna recommend that they read it again. Many people who have read it the first time want to get back into it, (inaudible), great book and I felt that last night. You watched the earlier debate and the second debate. They're getting back to this great principles in this country, we founded on about capitalism and free market. The power of an individual of what you can do to make a difference and change the world. And I think it's inspirational, especially when you think about.

GUTFELD: So thick.


GUILFOYLE: Well, read every other page.


GUILFOYLE: And you'll still get a lot out of it.

GUTFELD: Are gonna fall.

GUILFOYLE: Get it on audio tape.

BOLLING: Back it up with.


BOLLING: With (inaudible) head, and also Iran book, fantastic book.

PERINO: I love that book.

BOLLING: Yeah, me too.

GUTFELD: I like the one, In Defense of Selfishness. Is that what it's called, In Defense of Selfishness? Have you ever read that?


GUILFOYLE: No surprise.

GUTFELD: I know.


GUTFELD: My life.



GUTFELD: Yeah, I might have read.

GUILFOYLE: You're so evolved now.

GUTFELD: And it's 120 pages. I know Randy -- is going to be tweeting me right now with the actual title, In Defense of Selfishness.

GUILFOYLE: Well, some of them could have read it last night and in between the breaks, where they were heard from again on the debate.

WILLIAMS: Yes. You know I was troubled, though, when I saw that -- what was it Rubio saying, well, gosh, you know pin pricks, that's why we, republicans didn't vote to have the air strikes against Syria. You know what? What is he talking about? He didn't back the fight against Syria, now he.

PERINO: Yes, he did.



WILLIAMS: (inaudible).

PERINO: Oh, no. No. We don't have time.

GUTFELD: We don't have time.

PERINO: But I'm right.

GUTFELD: We don't have time, Juan.

WILLIAMS: All right.


GUTFELD: To correct your many errors.

GUILFOYLE: Speak it out.


WILLIAMS: It's just too many.

GUTFELD: There's too many.

WILLIAMS: Just too many.


GUILFOYLE: Nap time.

GUTFELD: There's a one in a million.

BOLLING: That fact (ph), Juan.


GUTFELD: All right. I have a question about the debate, tweet it to us. Our handle is @thefive. Use the #thefive, and we're gonna answer some of them, ahead. It will be exciting.


GUILFOYLE: There's so much to cover on last night's debate. So here are some more notable moments from the second primetime show down of 2016.


SEN. TED CRUZ (R-TX), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I can't wait to stand on that debate stage with Hillary Clinton and to make abundantly clear if you vote for Hillary you are voting for the Ayatollah Khamenei to possess a nuclear weapon.

JEB BUSH (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: As it relates to my brother, there's one thing I know for sure: he kept us safe. I don't know if you remember.

SEN. RAND PAUL (R-KY), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: There will always be a Bush or Clinton for you if you want to go back to war in Iraq.

SCOTT WALKER (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Mr. Trump, we don't need an apprentice in the White House. We don't need an apprentice in the White House. We have one right now.

SEN. MARCO RUBIO (R-FL), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I believe that free enterprise and limited government is the best way to help people who are trying to -- who are trying to achieve upward mobility. And if they get their news in Spanish, I want them to hear that directly from me. Not from a translator at Univision.

CARLY FIORINA (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I led Hewlett-Packard through a very difficult time. Despite those difficult times, we doubled the size of the company. We quadrupled its top-line growth rate.

GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE (R-NJ), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: For the 55-year-old construction worker out in that audience tonight, who doesn't have a job, who can't fund his child's education, I've got to tell you the truth. They could care less about your careers. They care about theirs.


GUILFOYLE: Any clear winner? Anyone who clearly needs to step up their game? Let's take it around the table. Greg, you need to step up your...

GUTFELD: I have my winners, first -- in first, second and thirst place. First place, Donald Trump. He was terrific. Second place, Donald Trump. He was fantastic. I would have given him first place, but he was already in first place. And third place, I have Donald Trump. I don't want to upset him, but there were two candidates who were better than him. Trump and Trump.

BOLLING: That's huge.

GUTFELD: It's huge.

GUILFOYLE: Wow. Did you make that at Kinko's?

GUTFELD: Yes. By the way...

PERINO: What is with this paper?

GUILFOYLE: I don't know.

GUTFELD: You know why? Because I ran out of paper.

GUILFOYLE: Why is it so, like, long?

GUTFELD: I had to borrow my wife -- my wife is an artist, so I had more paper.

By the way, here's some insight into Trump that I learned, that he was exactly the same last night that he was in the first debate. Because -- and so in a weird way, everybody evolved. But he -- his belief is that "when I win, I will figure it all out. I will hire the right people." So there is no need for him to actually do the research, because he goes, "Why put any effort if I lose. So why don't I just wait till I win?" That's kind of charming.

GUILFOYLE: Wow. And so is that paper.

GUTFELD: Thank you very much.


PERINO: Well, we talked about a lot of them. I think a couple people we haven't talked about who needs love and attention, Scott Walker. So he came into this -- I don't think that he got a headline. He did much better, I think, in this debate than previous ones. And he was one of the people that was having to jump in there to try to make a point.

But he did not get a headline out of this. And I think that's unfortunate for them. I think they're going to have to keep trying to push and probably will have him in Iowa...

GUILFOYLE: He had very little time.

PERINO: ... a lot.

And also John Kasich. I -- for a long time I believed that it was a smart strategy for him to wait to be one of the last people to get in ,because that was some excitement. He got on the stage. But now, I'm questioning that, because his name I.D. is low enough that I don't see the scope and scale.

However, that being said, I understand that his ground game in New Hampshire is fantastic. His super PAC is spending a lot of money up there. And so perhaps he's got a strategy to stop anybody else by winning in New Hampshire.

GUILFOYLE: I would have liked to have seen him get in earlier, though, to be honest with you, and kind of like really get more known, so people see...

PERINO: He's got a lot of experience. I thought his best moment was when he talked about the balanced budget amendment that he helped. Not the amendment, excuse me, but the balanced budget...

GUILFOYLE: Yes, he has tremendous -- background and career experience.

Mr. Bolling.

BOLLING: So I think we are so lucky on the right, because we had at least 11 if not 12 or 13 great candidates that could step into the position. I'm being perfectly honest with you.

GUILFOYLE: Look at Juan's face.

BOLLING: I don't think everyone did well last night. Drudge scored it and TIME scored it for Trump. I don't think they're right about that. I would say the strong category -- everyone did great. But on the strong category, Carly -- Ted Cruz, I loved what he was talking about the Supreme Court. He was talking about some other constitutional...

WILLIAMS: Wait a minute. He said -- he said go to John Roberts, your own...

BOLLING: No, no. Not my own. You know, he outlined why he wouldn't have pushed for a John Roberts.

WILLIAMS: He did push for John Roberts. He backed John Roberts.

BOLLING: He says -- he outlined why. He says he didn't.

PERINO: No. He admitted he did.

BOLLING: I think Chris Christie did, also, very well. So I think Cruz...


BOLLING: ... Christie and Carly had strong debates.

GUTFELD: Don't you think Cruz was holding Trump's jacket the whole time?

BOLLING: He may have been, but you saw a side of Cruz. He's brilliant.

GUILFOYLE: Very bright. Yes.

BOLLING: He understands...

GUILFOYLE: But we all said don't stare at the little red button. Don't start weirdly looking in the whole thing.

BOLLING: Can I get through this? Held their ground. I think Trump held his ground. I think you're going to see him not slide in the polls.

Ben Carson held his ground. He could have stepped up a little bit more. Marco Rubio sounded good. Rand, you may not like what Rand had to say, but he stuck to -- stuck to his libertarian principles. I like that.

On the weak side, Huckabee, a little slow. Kasich, I agree with you, Dana, he could have stepped it up. And for me, Scott Walker had a really kind of quiet night. He needed a big night; he didn't get it. And for me, again, a lot of people are going to push back on this, but I think Jeb Bush, he just didn't look presidential to me. It just didn't feel presidential.

GUILFOYLE: He had some really good moments, though. Juan, give me what you can.

WILLIAMS: Give me what you can? So let me just tell you one of the things I learned in boxing, which is you've got to knock out the champ if you want to win. Nobody knocked out Donald Trump. He was -- he walked out of there standing. He didn't have a great night, but he had a good enough night, did not trip up. I thought Hugh Hewitt or some factual thing...

GUTFELD: Carly gave him a good slug.

WILLIAMS: She gave him a good slug, but he was still standing.

I would say that, when you look at Jeb Bush, Eric, do you know what? Jeb Bush, I think if you are a Jeb Bush backer or a money raiser right now, today you're thinking to yourself, you know, this may have been the peak of Trump.

PERINO: Do you know who got the biggest applause in the room last night? It's the Republican that wasn't even there. George W. Bush. I think that Trump was shocked. He was like, "Wow, people liked George W. Bush?" Even Jeb seemed surprised. Like, "Wow, people are clapping for my brother."

WILLIAMS: I think there was some back and forth about 9/11.

But the point is, I think Jeb and his backers feel good coming out of that. And it may be a win for him.

BOLLING: I don't know. I don't know.

GUILFOYLE: I don't think he got hurt. I don't think he got hurt.

All right. You know, I'm making no friends in the control room right now.

All right. Next, we answer the questions you tweeted to us on the debate. Don't go away.


PERINO: Oh, my goodness, if you had heard what just happened. But you didn't. We're going to move on.

The Twitterverse lit up last night during the second presidential debate. And now we'd like to answer some of the questions that you tweeted to us about it. And we have four minutes, so I'm moving fast.


GUILFOYLE: Yes, yes.

PERINO: ... this is from Larry Melton of Oregon.


PERINO: Larry. Do you remember him?

GUTFELD: The Meltons.

PERINO: "I couldn't help but wonder as I watched the debate if we will see both the president and vice president candidate out of that group?" What do you think?

GUILFOYLE: Well, I think that's an entirely possible idea. I was thinking, I like to do little pairings. It's like of politics. Who would be the pres, top of the...

PERINO: Slide right.

GUILFOYLE: Right. Yes, like my bacon app, Sizzl. Yes, I was thinking about that last night. And people who stood out to me as presidential at the top or the...

GUTFELD: What's your leadership sandwich?

GUILFOYLE: Would be, like, Rubio I thought was very strong. Carly was very strong. Still like Carson. Christie did well.

PERINO: All right.

All right. Eric, let me ask you this one. "What question would you have asked, were you moderating the debate?" This is from "mflynny."

BOLLING: So three hours, they got through a ton -- a ton of material. I think they did a great job getting through a wide range.

But I would love to have seen every single candidate answer this question: Give me your tax plan. Ad if they can't do it in 30 seconds or a minute, then it's -- then I'd scratch them right off. Because I can deliver a tax plan in 20 seconds. And I think the American people want it. They want it more simplified. And they want to know where they come down. And that would be...

PERINO: Could be a game: Name that tax plan. In four notes or less.

BOLLING: In 30 seconds or less.

PERINO: All right. Nell Hunt sent this one in. She's a crowd favorite. Juan, "Do you think we'd have been better off one question asked and each candidate give a short answer to that question?"

WILLIAMS: Yes, but you've got to allow people to respond. You've got to have some back and forth. The problem CNN has was they didn't control it, and it just got wacky and rude; and you couldn't even hear people. Dana and I were talking earlier. People were just talking over each other. That doesn't work.

I think that the most effective format may have come close to what FOX did, which was that you ask questions and then direct people terms of response, unless someone is called out by name.

PERINO: All right. Greg, this was just by chance, but this question was almost tailor-made for you. From Ian MacGregor: "The GOP process seems to be pitting supporters against each other a lot this run. Will they bond and vote as one later on?"

GUTFELD: I don't know. I don't like that question. I liked the last one.

PERINO: All right. Go ahead. That's a great question. You always talk about how they need to unite.



GUTFELD: I forgot.

PERINO: All right. So do you think we'd have been better off one question asked and then have each candidate give a short answer?

GUTFELD: No. That wasn't the question I wanted. "Which one of the GOP 16 would you consider working for as a member of their administration?" My answer is all of them.

WILLIAMS: Is that right?

GUTFELD: Because if somebody's elected and they ask you to serve, you should go. Even if you don't -- even if you didn't vote for them.

WILLIAMS: Well, wait, you...

PERINO: First of all, you skipped ahead. That is from Darren Peters. I was going to get to that.

GUTFELD: I thought you were just doing one question each?


GUTFELD: Twitter Thursday -- by the way, I protest Twitter Thursday. It's Twitter Tuesday, because that's alliterative. Alliterative.

PERINO: You cannot stay up late again. I'm actually awake and here and present. And...

GUILFOYLE: You really destroyed that.

PERINO: I have one. This is from Caroline Cohn. "Do you know what Chris Christie's green wrist band represents?"

I do. We found out. It is in support for Maryland Governor Larry Hogan. He is battling cancer. And that was in support of him.

GUILFOYLE: That was very nice.

PERINO: Do you see how I did that, control room? Now I have friends there.

GUTFELD: Twitter Thursday makes no sense. It should be Twitter Tuesday, because it's two "T's," not "T," "T-H."

PERINO: We will take that under advisement.

GUTFELD: Well, no. Come on, America. You know I'm right.

GUILFOYLE: We'll just let you keep that...

PERINO: Well, right. But today was the day after the debate.

GUTFELD: Because Facebook Friday.

GUILFOYLE: That's it. The mailed-in segment you do every week.

GUTFELD: Wacky Wednesday.

BOLLING: We can do Snapchat Saturday.

BOLLING: Exactly.

GUILFOYLE: Exactly. No, you do that on your own.

PERINO: I don't think that that would be appropriate.


PERINO: Maybe. I don't know.

BOLLING: That is totally mainstream legit now.

PERINO: All right. Moving on, between all the debating there were also handshake, high fives, and other lighter moments at the debate. We're going to look at some of those when we come back.


WILLIAMS: Lots of tense moments at last night's debate. But also some lighter moments. From high fives, to admissions of using pot, to Secret Service code name picks. Here you go.


CHRISTIE: True heart.

GOV. JOHN KASICH (R-OH), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I have one now. It was my detail. They called me Unit One.


WALKER: Harley. I love riding Harleys.

JEB BUSH (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Ever Ready. It's very high energy, Donald.


BUSH: That's a good one.


CRUZ: I was a Cuban. I might go with Cohiba. And I'll tell you, I'd go with, for Heidi, Angel, because she is mine.

RUBIO: What the heck, I want my code name to be Gator.


PAUL: Justice Never Sleeps.

JAKE TAPPER, CNN ANCHOR: That's a mouthful but OK.


WILLIAMS: So who was the most relatable? What do you think?

GUILFOYLE: I thought Jeb had a great moment. I thought it was very funny, and then he was cute saying to Trump, "Well, that's a good one" when Trump said, "Humble." So I think Jeb nailed it.

WILLIAMS: I thought Trump was good. Trump was pretty good.

GUILFOYLE: Well, they were good together.

WILLIAMS: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

GUILFOYLE: You can package deal it.

GUTFELD: There it is.

GUILFOYLE: "The Art of the Deal," Juan, read it. It's a great book.

WILLIAMS: Yes. I'll read the Bible, too.


WILLIAMS: What did you think, Eric? Who did you like?

GUILFOYLE: He's looking at you.

BOLLING: I think -- it was a big stage, 20-whatever-three million people. I think they were all as relatable as they could be. Carly, I think if she just threw a little humor in that, she would have crushed it. I think she did very well. But a little fun. You know, just...

WILLIAMS: That was the big criticism of her, that she was a little stern. But, you know, the moment when she was talking about the step-daughter...


WILLIAMS: ... the step-daughter dying.

GUTFELD: If she were a man would you have criticized her for being stern? You're sexist.

WILLIAMS: But you know -- but you know what? If she was a man, then I would have criticized her for lacking the ability to be human.

GUTFELD: Are you saying she looks like a man?

WILLIAMS: No. But you know, I'm going to count on you -- thank you for interpreting what I have to say.

GUILFOYLE: We're sorry for all of it. I don't want to stay after.

WILLIAMS: We appreciate it. So...

GUILFOYLE: I don't want to stay after.

WILLIAMS: So you know, one of the qualities of your former boss that everybody praises is "he's a guy I'd like to have a drink with." So who last night was Dana Perino saying, "You know, I like that guy"?

PERINO: After last night I would have drank with anybody. I sat there not having one glass of wine while this one did.


PERINO: OK. I have a problem with Carly and Rand. Because it's too many syllables.

GUILFOYLE: Right, right, right.

PERINO: Like, if there's an emergency, you don't want the Secret Service to have to say "Justice Never Sleeps." You want -- you need, like, two syllables or something, like, very quick.

GUILFOYLE: He should have just said, "Justice."

PERINO: Right. And the other thing I would say, I think that here Carly can command attention from any reporter now. I would pick somebody and go out and do some sort of humanizing piece. And go do some sort of feature piece that would run -- she might choose somebody at FOX or someone elsewhere, but that's what I would do.

WILLIAMS: Yes. I think, again, it didn't help her when she can't even actually name a woman to put on the bill. I mean, she's just like -- kind of stern.

PERINO: I do think that it was a cute way for CNN to end the debate.

WILLIAMS: Well, anyway. So Greg, who did you find, like, somebody you, Mr. Drinking, would like to drink with?

GUTFELD: First, my code -- my code phrase would be Golden Unicorn.

PERINO: It's too many syllables.

GUTFELD: Too many syllables. Captain Underpants?

GUILFOYLE: You just picked...

PERINO: Do "Unicorn."

GUTFELD: All right.

I thought -- I liked Jeb, because there's something amazing about your mother finding out you smoked pot on television. That rarely happens. And I thought that was pretty funny. That happened to me, but it wasn't pot. It was multiple of things.

WILLIAMS: Oh, my gosh.


WILLIAMS: Mrs. Gutfeld, take care. "One More Thing," up next.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.


BOLLING: Time for "One More Thing." Greg starts.

GUTFELD: While there was a debate going on, later that night, Hillary Rodham Clinton was on the Jimmy Fallon show. And her laugh is beautiful.


JIMMY FALLON, HOST, NBC'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JIMMY FALLON": I know that you're a mother. I know you as a grandmother, as well. You're a tough mother.


FALLON: No, no, no. I meant...

You're like if Ronda Rousey shopped at Ann Taylor Loft. You know what I'm saying? You're like -- grandma knows how to use an e-mail.


GUTFELD: That laugh, it was like the -- it's the Styrofoam peanut of emotional response. It's amazing. It's beautiful. I could listen to it all day, that laugh.

PERINO: Well, you might get the chance.

GUILFOYLE: What is the ringer on your phone?

BOLLING: Juanito.

WILLIAMS: Author and commentator Ann Coulter was live tweeting during the debate last night, and she took issue with the GOP candidates' repeated reference to Israel. But one of her tweets, well, you know, it just struck me as unfortunate. Here it is. Take a look for yourself.

GRAPHIC: "How many (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Jews do these people think there are in the United States?"

WILLIAMS: I just think, you know, again, it crossed the line for me. But she tried to clarify. She said it really was about them pandering to the Jewish vote as far as anything directed to Jewish Americans. I think this was a situation where it would be best if she just apologized. I think...

GUTFELD: That will never happen.

WILLIAMS: Well, I think it was a regrettable incident, Greg. And I think that, you know, she has a lot of influence.

GUTFELD: Yes. The people who say shocking things should not be surprised when they create a shocking response. So...

BOLLING: All right. K.G.'s up.

GUILFOYLE: Well, I have a nice one. We can move on. So President Obama welcomed three American heroes, and they all received medals. This is incredibly moving. He personally thanked Army Specialist Alek Skarlatos, Air Force Airman First Class Spencer Stone, and Anthony Sadler for their selfless acts of bravery, making the country proud. Take a listen to this.


BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: It's these kinds of young people who make me extraordinarily optimistic and hopeful about our future. We just want to say thank you to them for not only saving so many lives, but also for making America look so good.


GUILFOYLE: Very nice moment. And later the trio headed over to the Pentagon where Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter honored them with medals. Spencer Stone received the Airman's Medal and Purple Heart medal. And Alek Skarlatos received the Soldier's Medal. Anthony Sadler receiving the Department of Defense Medal for Valor. Well done.

BOLLING: That is good news. Because that was a change made this year. Right?

GUILFOYLE: That's true.

PERINO: OK. If you haven't had enough debate analysis from me already, you can watch me tonight on "O'Reilly."

And you can listen to this. I did an even -- a little taping today with Jared Halprin and Chris Stirewalt about the debate. It gets a little silly. But there's an intriguing part. Listen.


PERINO: Do you think any of them run as a third party?

CHRIS STIREWALT: No. Paul has been a loyal foot soldier for Mitch McConnell. He ain't going to do that. And Ted Cruz ain't going to do that. Could Trump still? He's not going to...

PERINO: I don't think it would be Trump.

STIREWALT: Who would it be?

PERINO: I'm going to hold my cards.


PERINO: I'm holding my cards.

BOLLING: I would agree. I'll bet you there would be one. I did not disagree with that one, Dana Perino.

WILLIAMS: Will you tell us?

PERINO: I'm holding my cards. But remember you heard it here first.

GUILFOYLE: We didn't; we almost heard it.

BOLLING: All right. So very quickly, September 17 is Constitution Day. Happy 228th anniversary of the signing of the Constitution.

Now, do you see that picture there? That little girl's name is Jewel -- is it Warren. I believe it's Jewel Warren. Her father was a Memphis police officer. He was killed in the line of duty in 2011. This last week was the daddy daughter dance. The six cops that worked with her father escorted her to the dance, filled with flowers and the dress and everything.

PERINO: The whole thing.

BOLLING: Great, great, great people. Congratulations...

WILLIAMS: That is nice.

PERINO: Beautiful.

BOLLING: ... to a great night.

That's it for us. "Special Report" coming up next.

PERINO: That's so nice.

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